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Poly lifestyle Dictionary

PolyPride

PolyPride

Member
This is sort of a dictionary in the making of terms associated with the poly lifestyle. Some of the words that are mentioned will be those which are in common usage and others may be new or alternative terms that people have come up with. I figured this would be helpful when it comes to learning about poly lifestyles, clearing up some confusion, and inventing or coining some new words even. If you find a better or more helpful definition for a word that's already posted feel free to post it.


I'll start off with some words and I'll define them later on...

bigamy:

compersion: "Warm happy feelings experienced when noticing ones loved ones enjoying loving relationships with others.The opposite of jealousy." (for example, one wife feels happy when she sees that a sister-wife is being loved by her husband as well). I posted more about this term on page 2 of this thread topic.

first-wife

plural divorce: multiple divorces (in the context of polygamy, all the wives of a husband divorces the husband)

plural marriage (or multiple marriages): having more than one marriage at one time. (If a man has more than one wife, instead of everyone being married to each other, the husband would just have a separate marriage relationship for each one of his wives giving him 2 or more marriages at one time).

plyg (or plig ?)

poly-oriented

poly: refers to anyone who practices polygamy, polyamory, or any other related form of relationship involving multiple partners (I found this this word on Urbandictionary.com)

polyamory

polyandry: a form of polygamy involving a woman having multiple husbands

polyfidelity (in the context of polygyny) : a type of faithfulness that involves being exclusive with 2 or more wives, as in being with only the 2 wives rather than being exclusive with only one wife. (I came across this word first on Wikipedia which mentions that a group called Kerista who practiced polyamory coined the term. I also don't agree with the way Wikipedia defined it so I mentioned a more simplified definition).

polygamy: the practice of having more than one spouse (wife or husband) at one time

polygynandry: a form of polygamy involving the husband having multiple wives and also the wives (or one of the wives) having multiple husbands. (I first saw this word on Wikipedia and I didn't like how it was defined).

polygyny: a form of polygamy involving a husband having multiple wives

polysexual: (I think I came up with this word but I'm not sure if it probably would just mean the same as promiscuous rather than a distinct sexual orientation)

sister-wife (or co-wife): a relational term that's used to refer to the wives in a polygamous marriage. Usually one wife would call the other wife her sister-wife.

potential (in the context of a poly lifestyle):

Bff: best friend forever



Did I leave out any other word that can be associated with the poly lifestyle? Are there any new or alternative words anyone has thought about?

Be sure to refer to the posts of others as well because they may have other terms and other definitions and further explanation about them.
 
Re: Terms for poly lifestyles

Ummm... I didn't see the term that I dislike the most. Potential. You know, the single woman whom the husband is dating. I think the term "potential" allows the current wife to put an emotional fence around her husband's feelings. I personally refer to my husband's girlfriend as my husband's girlfriend.

Does anyone have a different term for the relationship of "sister-wife"? For some reason, that term just doesn't sound right.
 
Re: Terms for poly lifestyles

The problem with coming up with terms to describe that relationship between wives of the same husband is that it implies that there is a set relationship that should exist between these women and that simply isn't so. You could be sisters, friends are that screeching harridan down the hall, there really is no template.
 
Re: Terms for poly lifestyles

The Richard Family uses BFF. T and I might use that in place of SW. We were toying with just Hubby's other wife or OW but I think I like BFF better. (Best friend forever.)
 
Re: Terms for poly lifestyles

Personally speaking I prefer polygyny over polygamy just because it's more syntactically correct. But the term I prefer most is plural marriage simply because people do not immediately throw up a wall and make conclusions like they do with polygamy. Some even ask what I'm talking about and that opens the door for me to share the truth with them.

Speaking from a guy's point of view I agree with DeAnn in that I don't necessarily like the term potential. I like her phrasing of "my husband's girlfriend". As far as between wives I really don't care. If I ever have more than one wife then whatever works for them is fine. As far as BFF goes I'll be nice and not say anything. But then again I've never liked the term "hubby" either. Just rubs me the wrong way for some reason.
 
Re: Terms for poly lifestyles

I had never even thought about avoiding the word 'potential' or that it might be degrading. After reading these posts I will have to change my wording :)
 
Re: Terms for poly lifestyles

What about alternate domestic partner? Sounds modern and encompasses terminology that has come to have some degree of acceptance. It leaves out public terms like wife, marriage, poly anything and confuses the crap out of anyone hearing the term. If gays can have a domestic partner why can’t non-gays. And the idea that gays must be monogamous with their domestic partner sounds a little old-fashioned for most California and Florida park bench discussions. So if freedom loving gays can have an alternate domestic partner, why not normal people? (Ok. I withdraw the ‘normal’ reference.)

And I am not defending any group, just freedom.
 
Re: Terms for poly lifestyles

plyg/plig.................short, has meaning............ but no, dont like it
polysexual............... no, to the tenth power. they already think that it is only about sex
polydivorce.............. may the word never be needed. "they both divorced him" communicates very strongly and does not need an explanation
potential wife............actually conveys a positive feeling, better than "prospective wife". (although my wife prefers prospective wife )
husbands girlfriend......sounds snarky to both of us, distancing. i would not call her a girlfriend
our good friend who may join our marriage...........not very succinct, but you can't have everything :lol:

thinking about the old bob newhart show:
this is my brother __________ (cannot remember the name) and my other brother __________ (same name)
this is my wife ali, and my other wife ________ (awaiting that name ourselves ;) )
adp.......................the reasons given are good, but it just doesn't roll off the tongue
polygyny..................good
plural marriage..........even better
bff........................no

hey, they are just some opinions :)
 
Re: Terms for poly lifestyles

"Hello, I'm Daryl. This is my brother Larry and this is my other brother Larry."

I also know the "Fig Newton" Jingle and many other silly songs.

SweetLissa
 
Re: Terms for poly lifestyles

Terms of Biblical Sexuality

Adultery – Any sexual act between a married woman and a man who is not her husband. Every use of the Hebrew and Greek terms for adultery refers to a man with another man’s wife. It might be immoral for a married man to have sex with an unmarried woman, but it is not adultery according to Biblical usage.

Bestiality – Any sexual act between a person and an animal. Biblical law requires the death of both the person and the animal.

Betrothal – Agreement to a future marriage. In the Bible a betrothal is as binding as marriage. The rapist of a betrothed woman receives the same punishment as the rapist of a married woman: death. The rapist of an unbetrothed virgin receives a heavy financial penalty.

Bill of Divorcement – A document given by a husband to a divorced wife to prove that she has been lawfully divorced.

Bride-price – Something of value usually given to the father or family of a woman in exchange for her marriage. Sometimes the bride-price might be given to the woman. In ancient Hebrew culture, if a bride-price is given without receiving a dowry, then the woman would become a concubine. She would be a wife, but would also have been purchased, making her a slave. See dowry.

Consanguinogamy – Marriage to relatives who are not Biblically forbidden. Cousin and uncle/niece marriages are consanguinogamous.

Divorce – The dissolution of a marriage by repudiation or abandonment. See putting away and bill of divorcement.

Dowry – Something of value brought into a marriage by a woman. Usually it consisted of property given to the husband by the bride’s family. It might be reserved for use by the woman and might return to her family if she is divorced. See bride-price.

Endogamy – Marriage within one’s own social group, clan, or tribe.

Exogamy – Marriage outside of one’s own social group, clan, or tribe.

Fornication – Any sexually immoral act. Fornication includes adultery, homosexuality, bestiality, prostitution, incest, etc.

Harlotry – Prostitution or sex for pay.

Homosexuality – See lesbianism and sodomy.

Incest – Sexual relations with a close relative. Sexual relations with any of the following persons would be incest: parents, children, siblings, grandparents, grandchildren, aunts, nephews. Marriage to cousins, uncles, and nieces might be considered incestuous in modern, Western cultures, but they are not forbidden in the Bible.

Lesbianism – Female homosexuality. Alluded to once by Paul, but otherwise is not specifically addressed in the Bible.

Levirate – The practice of a surviving male relative–usually a brother–marrying the childless widow of the deceased. The purpose was to ensure the continuity of inheritance by providing the deceased with an heir in the firstborn of the new marriage. If a man had several wives and at least one of them had children, then the law of the levirate would not apply.

Marriage – A permanent union between a man and a woman, consummated by sexual relations. I do not believe that the sexual union in itself constitutes marriage. It must be accompanied by an agreement of permanency between the marrying individuals, and the consent, whether implicit or explicit, of the woman’s guardian if she is not a widow or divorcee.

Onanism – Male masturbation or “pulling out” to prevent conception. Named for Onan, the son of Judah, because he was killed by God for spilling his seed on the ground to avoid giving his deceased brother an heir according to the levirate. I believe that the term is misnamed and misapplied, because Onan was not killed for spilling his seed, but for denying his brother an heir. It might be more appropriate to apply the term to the modern aversion to the levirate and to onerous inheritance taxes.

Polyandry – A more or less permanent sexual relationship established between one woman and more than one man. A form of polygamy that is not allowed by Biblical laws.

Polygamy – A more or less permanent sexual relationship established between one person and multiple persons of the opposite gender. Bigamy (one person with only two persons of the opposite gender), polyandry (one woman with multiple men), and polygyny (one man with multiple women) are sub-categories of polygamy.

Polygyny – A more or less permanent sexual relationship established between one man and more than one woman. A form of polygamy that is allowed by Biblical laws.

Putting Away – Repudiation and physical removal of a spouse, almost always of a wife by her husband. See divorce.

Sodomy – Male homosexuality, especially homosexual prostitution or ritual homosexuality. All male sodomy is clearly condemned in the Bible, which prescribes the death penalty for all sodomites.

Sororal Polygyny – The marriage of one man to two sisters, as in the case of Jacob with Leah and Rachel. Prohibited by Leviticus 18:18, but the prohibition might be limited to situations in which the second marriage is likely to cause a great deal of strain on the first, for example if the sisters are already hostile or very competitive toward one another. Could also be called “sororal polygamy.”

Whoredom – Pretty much the same as fornication. Whoredom might imply prostitution or illicit heterosexual activity as opposed to other forms of fornication.
 
Re: Terms for poly lifestyles

I thought its was Larry and his brother Darryl and his other brother Darryl. Do any of our bible scholars have any insight into what co-wives called each other in the Bible. I know we have limited accounts of interaction between Racheal and Leah and the Samuel's mother and his father's other wife.
 
Re: Terms for poly lifestyles

Hey Everyone,
I'm disappointed to see that more people didn't appreciate BFF(Best-Friends-Forever), especially because it can potentially save a family from awkward public situations. However, I understand if, sadly, that description is not the case and this nickname does not apply in one's own circumstances. Thankfully, the Lord has blessed our family with a very close and unique relationship. Besides for my wives creating BFF and occasionally using it to describe one another, I came up with a fun little nickname just for use in casual or playful situations *((Disclaimer: My "Editors" told me that I ought to preface with the statement that I'm not particularly referring to bedroom situations)); so, I will share it and its explanation, in case it might bring a smile to anyone's face.

This occurred to me 2-3 years ago: If the plural of mouse is mice; then the plural of spouse should be spice! Here's one resulting observation: If the quote goes- "Variety is the spice of life" now one can also say- "Spice are the variety of life!" - like I said, there are a variety of humorous applications for this play on words- So, at times, I will address my wives as "SPICEGIRLS"; and, depending on the moment, that title may be modified for fun. So, "Drama-Spice" or "Mama-Spice" are a couple of easy variations to use. Of course, you can use your own imagination, have fun, and express yourself playfully.

Since I saw this topic arise, I checked with the gals, and we decided that it would be alright to divulge this little inside joke. I hope everyone gets a laugh.

Be Blessed, Everyone-- and let me know if you like this light-hearted tidbit.
 
Re: Terms for poly lifestyles

Hey Everyone
I must say that the term "potential" makes me cringe. I personally don't use it and I would not like to be referred to as a "potential".
I love Nathanial's "BFF" and the "spice girls" was very cute ! :)
Blessings,
Fairlight
 
darryl and darryl or larry and larry. hmmmmboth sound right but it might be d and d

spicegirls, i like it but only in private (again, it brings others to focus on the sex)
(louse-lice also)
 
I like Best Friends Forever. I would not be fond of a simple acronym written or spoken though to describe the second. It's the first time I heard of Best Friends Forever, I had seen BFF on a post once but never followed up on what it was. I used MM to describe monogamy mud or the leftover values of monogamy that interfer with poly thinking but it never caught on. We all come with a bag of MM's and that is baggage. BFF sounds nice now that I know it wasn't some insult to the British or French.
 
Re: Terms for poly lifestyles

manaftergodsownheart said:
I'm disappointed to see that more people didn't appreciate BFF(Best-Friends-Forever), especially because it can potentially save a family from awkward public situations.
Click to expand...

The main reason that I personally don't like that term is due to the over-usage by teenage girls. But if I'm ever blessed with more than one wife and they wish to use that term between them then that would be fine with me. Just something I wouldn't use myself.




manaftergodsownheart said:
This occurred to me 2-3 years ago: If the plural of mouse is mice; then the plural of spouse should be spice! Here's one resulting observation: If the quote goes- "Variety is the spice of life" now one can also say- "Spice are the variety of life!" - like I said, there are a variety of humorous applications for this play on words- So, at times, I will address my wives as "SPICEGIRLS"; and, depending on the moment, that title may be modified for fun. So, "Drama-Spice" or "Mama-Spice" are a couple of easy variations to use. Of course, you can use your own imagination, have fun, and express yourself playfully.
Click to expand...

lol, That is so hilarious, but makes a lot of sense too. I like that.
 
This occurred to me 2-3 years ago: If the plural of mouse is mice; then the plural of spouse should be spice! Here's one resulting observation: If the quote goes- "Variety is the spice of life" now one can also say- "Spice are the variety of life!" - like I said, there are a variety of humorous applications for this play on words- So, at times, I will address my wives as "SPICEGIRLS"; and, depending on the moment, that title may be modified for fun. So, "Drama-Spice" or "Mama-Spice" are a couple of easy variations to use. Of course, you can use your own imagination, have fun, and express yourself playfully.
Click to expand...

Great story. I love it!
 
Since lots of people take polygamy to be the same as adultery and promiscuity, the term "polyfidelity" is one of my favorite. It's an easy-to-remember word that identifies the terms of fidelity or faithfulness in polygamous relationships. Where lots of people would consider it absurd to think that a polygamous husband is being faithful to one wife while he sleeps with another woman, polyfidelity would fit here to mean that the fidelity in polygyny is the husband being with multiple wives and only that group of women , and therefore adultery or promiscuity would only occur if the husband was being intimate with someone outside of that group or his wives.

Polyfidelity (in context of polygyny): a type of faithfulness that involves being exclusive with 2 or more wives rather than just 1 wife at a time or any 1 wife.


One website mentions polyfidelity meaning, "a husband practicing sexual exclusivity with 2 or more wives (eventhough he's with more than one woman, he's only with those group of women who are all his wives)."

I'm trying to think of a better definition but these are clear enough I believe.
 
The term "compersion" is something many wouldn't expect once they know the meaning.

Compersion: warm happy feelings experienced when noticing ones loved ones enjoying loving relationships with others.The opposite of jealousy. For example, a wife experiencing positive feelings when seeing that her sister-wife has a loving relationship with the husband.

This is not to be mistaken with perverse feelings that are associated with "swinging" which I think is a corruption of the feeling (just as love can be corrupted, love of money, love of a woman who's another man's wife, etc.); but it's just simply feeling happy about someone elses love relationship.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compersion


A blog article that I read (link provided below from polygamy.com) mentions that it is a feeling that could be experienced mainly by people in poly relationships. Hmmm, so maybe some wives in polygamy are experiencing emotions that most of the general public may not? I remember another member here posting that his wife gets jealous when she sees another man (not the husband) showing interest in her sister-wife which I would've never expected jealousy to come about in that way so I'm wondering if compersion ties into that.

Here's where I read first about compersion and how it's an experience that people in polygamy would experience:
http://www.polygamy.com/index.php/comme ... -marriage/
 
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