I wasn’t going to post. And then
@Isaac told me I should—regardless of what my feelings are.
I don’t think poly is great. I will admit that it’s gotten “easier” over time.
@Isaac and
@Sparkles have been married for almost two years and I think time has helped.
Has my life been blessed? Well, that’s a difficult one. Because, while I do love my SW, and I’m glad to say we have a pretty great relationship—I’d be okay with her also just being a friend. Although, the husband says our relationship just wouldn’t be as great if that were the case.
So, I can’t say my life has been blessed, per se. I know
@Sparkles ’ and
@Isaac ’s has in having each other—and that should be enough for me.
Difficult but worth it? It’s definitely difficult sometimes. In those times is it worth it? Where I’m at now? I’d have to say “no”. I’m eager for the day when I feel it is. Just not there yet.
In the interest of full disclosure, my situation is probably the ideal. I’ve said before on here that I didn’t want poly. Not even a little bit. The night that the SW decided she was joining the husband’s family, I was such a wreck that I got sick... I felt my life must be over. Things HAVE gotten better. Time is really the biggest cure.
But, I have an amazing SW. She’s the kind all ladies would be blessed to have (even if her youth and beauty are intimidating
). I can honestly say we’ve never had a fight and she’s cried WITH me when I’ve been hurting.
And the husband never plays favorites. He’s never given me a reason to feel less loved or cared for. Even the “new relationship energy” isn’t as daunting as I thought—most of the time.
My issues are mine. I have always had issues with feeling all kinds of awful about myself. So, of COURSE, the fact that the husband wanted another woman just solidified how awful/ugly/horrible I am and how wonderful/beautiful/perfect she is.
So, I’m being fair in saying that my reasons for not liking poly are due to issues that I have to work out. Because, all of these things live in my head and my heart. They’re things that I have to fix.
@Isaac tells me they may never have come to the surface if not for poly. That it’s possible I would never have NEEDED to confront these issues. So, even I will admit that God is using this to make me better. Does it hurt? Absolutely it does. Maybe it’s supposed to?
I’m hopeful that in a few years’ time, my answers on here will be different.