• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

Prayer request and questions

T

Tiffanym

New Member
Hi everyone. My name is Tiffany and I live in Oregon. I am currently married to a non-Christian man. We have been married for 10 years but not living together for the last 3 years. For many years of our marriage I have been feeling a interest and calling toward plural marriage. My husband was not ever able to take these ideas seriously. Looking at it more in a sexual way instead of a serious idea that I have had to be pleasung to God.
I have been praying on what I should do and feel like God has been telling me to talk to others instead of just praying.
So I hope that someone might be able to read this and be able to offer sone wisdom to help me to decide what I should do.
Should I continue to stay in a marriage that is not Christian based, a marriage that is separated by 1000 miles and one that has probably no chance to change.
I know that I feel like God wants me to be in a Christian marriage, with a husband who also has a calling toward multiple wives, but is that right?
I appreciate your help.

Thank you
 
wow, i am so sorry for what you are going through.
my next immediate reaction is that plural marriage ideas are not at all and should not be the focus of your relationship with your husband. please put that all on the shelf and walk with Yeshua(Jesus) in this time of trouble. i will be praying that he will lead you in the relationship with your husband.
 
Tiffanym,

I am sad to hear what you are going through. I hope that you will put all your trust and faith in the lord. I think before you can even consider being married in a plural relationship you must seek God's guidence in dealing with the one you already have. No one will ever be able to give you the right answer because so many of us have different opinions of how someone should run there life. But in the end it is your decision on what you should do. I just hope that you allow God to help you in this important decision. I will be putting you on our prayer list that God hears your pain and gives you the guidence you need in your life.

God Bless!

THe Hunt Family
 
Hello, TiffanyM.

Welcome to the Biblical Families. You DID come to the right place. And we will definitely join in praying for your situation.

I join in agreeing that the initial impression received is that your first big issue is to resolve your current situation. But realistically, that doesn't keep you from looking ahead as well, while doing so. So, by all means do both. *grin*
 
Hi Tiffany,

I'm new here too-- just joined a week ago--- but I'm already feeling welcome, encouraged, and inspired by having joined this extended church body. Anyway, I too am of the same mind everyone else is: focus first on the marriage you have-- as tenuous as it may be--- rather than giving it up for a new one. If you look at it from a Biblical point of view, you are already in a type of "plural" marriage, being a "Bride of Christ," as well as the wife of a mortal man.

I also have two more bits of Biblical witness for you: 1) The Apostle Paul preached that although life is definitely simpler when we marry someone who is already a believer, we should not completely shun the idea of marrying a non-believer, should we fall in love with one, as afterall, who is to say that the example and witness of your own faith will not influence the unbelieving spouse to change and be saved?

2) Luke chapter 13 is a yet one of many parables about fig trees, found throughout the Bible, yet this one is different. In most of the parables, the "bad" or unproductive trees are always destroyed to avoid ruining the whole orchard. But in the story in Luke 13, when the landowner talks to his gardener about cutting down a tree that is not producing (so it isn't just taking nutrients from the other trees), the gardener asks the landowner for a bit more time. He promises to aerate the soil and mulch around the tree, and add fertilizer, to see if perhaps that will not help the tree to bear fruit. The landowner agrees to give the tree one more season to see if the situation will improve before having the tree cut down.

What I got from that parable, was that the fig tree is much like our hearts: The Master Gardener can turn the "soil" of our hearts, and mulch about with us, to improve us and help us to become fruitful. He gives us as long as it takes to improve our spiritual health and bear fruit before condemning us to the proverbial wood pile. God can do this for your husband too, if it is His will. Rather than praying for answers to your questions, it may be time to pray for a blessing and change of heart for your husband, and your current marriage.

God can heal the sick, give the blind sight, and raise the dead. He can change hearts, save alchoholics and drug addicts, deliver criminals from a life of self-destruction. He can surely save your husband and repair your marriage too, if you let Him. ;)
 
I want to agree with Froggie, Tiffany, and do. However, since we know so little about your situation, here are other things to add to the mix, in your thinking.

Paul also says in the Bible that if your unbelieving spouse is content to dwell WITH you, do so. Stay in the marriage. If not, let them leave. Well, it sounds like you and your husband have been apart for 3 years. Sounds like leaving has taken place.

God's rules and responsibilities regarding marriage are somewhat different for men and women. This is obvious, since a man may have more than one wife, while a woman can have but one husband at a time. But here is another difference: Men's only Biblical excuse for divorcing a wife is adultery. Desertion isn't mentioned (though a case can be made for physical abuse, etc.). Women, however, have somewhat more latitude, desertion being one. Abuse (REAL abuse, not just not getting your own way) is another.

You know your situation and your history with this man. You know whether your life is best served by trying to stay legally married in a situation that has entirely ended, or whether to seek reconciliation. If you don't, ask God and talk to folks here.

You may also note that a legal divorce, thus legally separating your financial affairs, etc. does NOT preclude you two from getting back together, if that should prove the right path. It DOES, however, signal that "this current state is not acceptable. I am stepping up and DOING something about changing the status quo." That is good.

Anyway, you have taken a good step by coming here. You will find a caring crowd, who love God, and want families to work, and will be glad to be here for you as your life begins another leg of its journey.
 
Great words to share there Cecil. I agree them them completely.

Tiffany do seek the Lord in the direction you need to proceed. We are, as froggie said, an extended church family, though we do have, as all familys do, our disagreements :lol: from time to time but there are some great people here as well. I will add you to my prayers as well and ask the Lord to give you the insight that you need and the direction that you need to take.
God bless!
 
Thank you to everyone for your support and insight. I will conitnue to pray for my husband to find the Lord. And to pray for our marital situation ( I understand that this will happen when and if God sees fit, I guess that after you have been praying for someone for 11 years you start to wonder if it will happen).
I also will continue to use this site for support. Thank you again to everyone.

Tiffany
 
Tiffany, I can't imagine the struggles you go thru daily in your marriage. I sincerely hope that God will do a miracle for you and your husband. I have seen it in the past but that does not make it any easier for the present. My prayers are with you both.

With hope for the future,
Julieb
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top