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Question for all ya sw's!

M

mamaleeisme

New Member
How many pm couples on here have a sw who was friends or best friends with the first wife before they joined your family? I ask because as I read through old posts I am noticing that many ladies on here say that their dh married their friend and the friendship usually was longer than 10 years before the sw came into the marriage. That is the case with our family also. Dana and I were friends for about 15 years before she joined our family. If you are in the same situation, do you think that you would have had as easy a time accepting your sw if you hadn't been friends for a long time beforehand? I know that Dana and I being friends made this so much easier for me.

Lindsay
 
To be honest I don't know that I could accept PM as easily if Amy and I had not been childhood friends. We have been friends literally since we were 7.We have been through allot together and are very close. It was almost like she was already married to DH after just spending 6months as our roommate a couple of years ago.

She is preparing to move here with us this month and we are looking forward to our family being together.
 
Although my SW had a change of heart and left us(on the day she and hubby were supposed to have their ceremony)(But, that's another story) I don't think I could have done it with anyone but her. She's been my cousin forever and my best friend for over 20 years. Hubby and I referred to her son as ours for years, we referred to her as "our wife' and she and I referred to hubby as "ours" for a long time before the thought of PM even entered the picture. Having said that, I like to think I'd be open minded enough to consider another woman if hubby wanted one.
Clyde
 
clyde44 said:
Although my SW had a change of heart and left us(on the day she and hubby were supposed to have their ceremony)(But, that's another story) I don't think I could have done it with anyone but her. She's been my cousin forever and my best friend for over 20 years. Hubby and I referred to her son as ours for years, we referred to her as "our wife' and she and I referred to hubby as "ours" for a long time before the thought of PM even entered the picture. Having said that, I like to think I'd be open minded enough to consider another woman if hubby wanted one.
Clyde
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Clyde ,
I really understand this type of situation. I am sorry to hear about the change of heart! :cry: I pray that the Lord will bring the right SW to you and your DH if that is His will for the two of you! I think it is brave of you trying to be open minded to pursuing PM with another person. I too would hope that if I were in that position and my DH wanted to pursue PM with someone else that i would be open minded and hearted.
 
We were friends with SW for 8 years before she joined our family. She and I have both said we could not imagine doing this with anyone else. In our situation, we both agree being friends before has made certain aspects of the arrangement harder to work through, but by God's grace and mercy, I trust we'll get there!!!
 
From the other end of the spectrum. T and I were not friends when we began this journey. It may be easier to find the desire when you are friends to begin with but ultimately, the main factor is each woman's desire to follow God and therefore follow her husband. If each person in a family has the desire for it to work out then they will find ways to make it work. I believe what matters is our personal relationship with God and our trust in him to do what is best for each of us. He can't want our husbands to succeed without wanting us to succeed.
 
Joy and I were friends before she joined our family. I think knowing each other beforehand helped us to not hurt each other accidentally. Families with more than one wife have a big job balancing and managing our relationships. I think it helps to know where the toes are before you start dancing!
 
Nikkismom
I've been away from here for a while but I'm back and going to try to do better. Hubby has found a woman that he's attracted to and she's coming to the house tomorrow so that I can meet her. I'm trying to be open minded about it all. Sweet Lissa said to me once that you"can't unring a bell" She's SO right. This whole pm thing was my idea to start with, and if this is what Hubby wants now I have to be open to it, or at least try to be.
 
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