• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

question for the men

arianna metrick

arianna metrick

New Member
Female
Good evening,
I am curious how those whom have multiple wives navigate personal time with each one in order to continue to nuture the relationships.
Do you have equal set days for time with each? do you spend time based upon instinct and feeling?

thank you so much
 
As a truck driver, I am pretty much never home.
But if and when I am, we alternate nights.

Meanwhile, the girls are bowing in @nathan ’s general direction for declaring a retreat and forcing me off the road for a few days. :)
 
arianna metrick said:
Good evening,
I am curious how those whom have multiple wives navigate personal time with each one in order to continue to nuture the relationships.
Do you have equal set days for time with each? do you spend time based upon instinct and feeling?

thank you so much
Click to expand...
I generally alternate between my two girls, on an equal time basis. Having said that, we all have to be quite flexible: the unexpected happens so often I don't know why we call it unexpected.
 
It could easily be difficult for them if there is no apparent attempt at keeping things somewhat fair.
Emotions being potent forces.

I choose to alternate just because it is simple.
 
arianna metrick said:
@retour and @steve do you feel if you did based upon instinct and feelng, it could be difficult for the women ? is this why you choose to alternate?
Click to expand...
I think Steve has answered this question very well, and I agree with him. Navigating personal time based on instinct and feeling would make it extremely complicated, with lots of scope for misunderstanding. Much better to keep it simple and just alternate between the two. Better and fairer for everyone.
 
arianna metrick said:
Good evening,
I am curious how those whom have multiple wives navigate personal time with each one in order to continue to nuture the relationships.
Do you have equal set days for time with each? do you spend time based upon instinct and feeling?

thank you so much
Click to expand...

By way of disclosure, I should mention that I am no longer in a plural marriage but I was for over 7 years. So maybe the way we were doing things is great or maybe it is terrible. You will have to make your own judgment.

Basically what we did is allow the ladies to establish my schedule with respect to where I slept. Generally 2-3 days here and 2-3 days there. I tended to try to spend most of my time after work with the wife who's night it was. After getting home, having dinner and splitting up for the evening...unless we did not split up and instead were just hanging out together. Not hyper structured and time would get traded back and forth a bit. I was rarely consulted in the matters and it rarely mattered to me because I loved my wives full stop. If I am upstairs or downstairs, I am still with my best pal and woman I love.

There are those who think that a very structured or a completely unstructured system or separate houses and spaces playing into it... I really think that it is less about the specific system and more about the people and what works in their situation.

For the future, should I marry again, we will need to work out a system that works for the new family going forward. All about open communication and wanting the best for each other.
 
We do a lot together as a group, but I do make sure each woman gets time to hang out one on one. That’s not hard to do. They each have their own interests and I find things that they’ll find fun to go and do. If I’m running to the store, someone wants to go with me and some are busy. But I also encourage them to do fun things together when I’m working. It’s better to go by feel. Otherwise you’re just at the mercy of a schedule. Better to be in control of your time as the husband. That being said, I will sometimes schedule something with one specifically. I’ve got a solo date with my second on Saturday this week. And the others have dates coming up soon. In this case it’s activities tied to their specific interests.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top