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Random in my feels

dixieprincess

dixieprincess

Member
Female
I remember a time when at any given time of any given day I could call or text 10-15 different people and be out the door to go out and do something. But then I didn’t have a job, I enjoyed the party life, I wasn’t no where near who I am today. I’m slowly changing I started seeking God again and trying to find my place in the religious world. I’m more career driven than I have ever been before. I go to college full time now. I work well over full time close to 80 hours a week. What can I say, I love my job lol not that much most of my overtime is mandated. The life of a correctional officer. Lol. I’ve lost most of my friends because I’ve changed I’m not into the same things I once was. A lot of people don’t like my job because I’m considered law enforcement now. My life style has changed so much over the past couple years. Now I don’t have any body I can call or text at any time. My 2 days off are spent at home alone with Netflix. Lol. Idk. Being bored at home on my day off got me thinking and all up in my feelings. Idk why I felt the need to post it on here but I did.
 
At least you don't have 10 or 15 people blowing up your phone all day wanting something. It used to seem like as soon as I sat down to relax I would have someone call needing some favor. Sure I will help people but some will just take advantage of your kindness. Which is why I could not do corrections work. Seeing all those people and wanting to do something to make their lives easier, while knowing good and well I could not and if i did they would just try to take advantage of my kindness for the most part. Some ones got to do it though. I also have lost a lot of friends I once had. We just went separate ways in life. After I dropped facebook I met a lot more people in my area though. with your heavy schedule though I don't know how you would have the time to meet people though.
ecclesiastes 5 18 - 20 reads
18 Behold that which I have seen: it is good and comely for one to eat and to drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labour that he taketh under the sun all the days of his life, which God giveth him: for it is his portion.

19 Every man also to whom God hath given riches and wealth, and hath given him power to eat thereof, and to take his portion, and to rejoice in his labour; this is the gift of God.

20 For he shall not much remember the days of his life; because God answereth him in the joy of his heart.

Just keep at it, and one day you will enjoy the fruits of your labors. For now you have God to talk to and He will provide others to talk to as well.
 
@Herbie Very true, I used to be the same would help anyone and everyone. But I don’t have the time or energy to either. Which also makes loads of sense why part of them disappeared. Corrections needs kindness and less jerks in my opinion. There are some COs that are complete douche bags who are there just to make the inmates life hell and then there’s some of us, very few of us, who do our job by the book or as close as we can with out making there life worse than it already is. They are already being punished, it’s not my job to punish them more unless they have done something to be locked up and wrote up.

@WifeOfHisYouth lol that’s be cool with me.
 
I watch a lot of documentaries about prision. I dont know why I like to watch them but I do. Any way there was this one show about these innocent people being planted in prison as spies. It was interesting how the guards acted toward the inmates. As I watched I was amazed at how much the guards actually had to put up with on a day to day basis. Some of the inmates were checking pills and trading them for stuff. Its like a whole other civilization exists behind those doors that people forget even exists.
 
It depends on the prison an where it’s located. But yes a whole different civilization lives behind these walls @Herbie! We do have to deal with a lot of a few and then there’s the ones who keep there head down just to do their time. I feel as a women (I think fellow female COs would agree) working at a men’s prison women have to deal with a lot more. As these men don’t see women regularly an view is as meat so they do perverted and disgusting things when they see us. They don’t try to hide it either they do it out in the open.
 
dixieprincess said:
As these men don’t see women regularly an view is as meat so they do perverted and disgusting things when they see us. They don’t try to hide it either they do it out in the open.
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Eek! I can only imagine :eek:
 
I know God calls us all to different missions, and I'm sure you are a blessing to the folks you work with. I second the comments about friends that leave. You will find others more in sync with who you are becoming. Growth is good, but it means that your group you fit with might need to grow, or change too!

Herbie said:
Its like a whole other civilization exists behind those doors that people forget even exists.
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This quote hits close to home for me. I'm not wanting to derail your thread @dixieprincess, and I think it is good when CO's can treat inmates with decency, but the facts that most in the outside world don't know what its like in there, and they DO forget that is all some have to look forward to...it is their world, that cause me to think no one should be sentenced to such a place, by people who get to stay on the outside.....go where they please, plan weekends at the lake, etc.

A book my hubby read called "Convicting the innocent" probably contributed to me feeling this way.

I look forward to the time when there will be no prisons, just the wicked kept outside the gates of New Jerusalem.

Maybe your light will help a few more make it in.
 
I know how prison life changes people. The isolation that comes with being a co with low seniority is rough and the culture you have to adapt to is radically different than most people can relate to, for sure. And by the time you have enough time in to have something of a life outside of work... you have a radically different outlook on what life even looks like.

But, I do know... er... a handful... of people who've made it a career and managed to stay safe without becoming sadistic. And every one of those gentlemen love Jesus. I believe everyone needs Jesus to get them through their life, but co's need grace to get through their whole path with their sanity intact. Cling to Him!
 
dixieprincess said:
A lot of people don’t like my job because I’m considered law enforcement now.
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Until THEY need some law enforcement. Crazy pseudo anarchists!

My brother-in-law is a prison guard. I am sure it must be a hard way to earn a living.

I am not familiar with your situation, but I encourage you to seek out Christian fellowship, either here or at a mainstream church. Don't try to go at it alone. If you are not living polly it should not be too hard to blend in. It is sad that there are 100 congregations to choose from, but there are 100 congregations to choose one so try to find one that supports you and that you can support them.

Try to repair bridges with your family as much as you are able to and as much as it concerns you. Family is important, too.
 
Right @cynstrom they don’t like us til they need us. They don’t realize that we keep the guys who committed some horrible crimes off the streets and away from them and there family. Granted we do keep some guys who probably shouldn’t be there in there as well.


@Slumberfreeze every one for the most part I work with are pretty awesome. Our sense of humor are on complete different levels for sure. There sense of humor is pretty sadistic an creepy at times. They pick at me because Of how innocent I come off as a lot of times with out meaning to.


@Joleneakamama so some of these guys in prison actually deserve a lot worse than what there going through in my opinion but it’s not my job to punish it’s my job to make sure they don’t escape and do what they are supposed to do. I think the one that put them there should live in the conditions for a week just to understand what they are sentencing people to. I believe that the ones doing the sentenceing, prosecuting are all guilty of something at some point but never got caught.
 
Slumberfreeze said:
OH BOY prison humor lol. AKA How to alienate the normal people in the space of 30 seconds.
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Yes!! The things these people talk about. And the men that work there, I’m not sure if it’s because of all the testosterone in one building but they all have something to prove an think every women wants them. There very forward with the things they say and have no filter what so ever. I just turn red like a fire truck and look at them like there crazy for the most part. Some times I have to step up and say that’s sexual harassment don’t speak to me that way am they all just look me like ugh oh are we gonna lose our jobs now. But my rule is I won’t make a big deal out of what they say if after the first time they stop saying those things to me or around me. If they continue to do and say certain things I’ll go straight to our Major.
 
Oh sure. 'Off color' is one thing, but it's important to be mindful of your audience to know what shade of off color is acceptable. Especially in the land where nobody is free.

I've been known to shoot my mouth off a time or two and hae to follow it up with, "... and I'm sorry we haven't been introduced yet and I hope that wasn't offensive..." because there are one thousand things we're not supposed to talk about in my neck of the woods.
 
spare the rod and spoil the child, the blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil. I have often wondered if corporal punishment were to return if there would be less repeat offenders. It is said that it is barbaric and cruel or unusual punishment, but how is locking an intelligent sentient being in a cage not cruel and unusual. I really think largely it comes down to the money.

locking a person up generates income for the prison and keeps people employed. If a cat of ninetails came back no one profits from the situation except society from the fact that people probably would not do it again. But there are still some people that have to be caged for the good of mankind like serial killers, and serial rapists. I feel many offenders should have just gotten 30 lashes and perhaps an ankle bracelet though.
 
The inmates are catered to. They have Xbox’s, TVs, they get to socialize and go to school. It’s like elementary school all over again. That’s why there are so many repeat offenders prison is not as bad as what some think it is. I personally thought it was much worse before I started working there.
 
I worked in a county jail as an explorer scout in high school. Booking prisoners and shuffling papers. I was 17, and when going down into the cell blocks even as a young man I was treated worse than I would have thought. I cannot imagine what it would be like for a young woman, no matter how strong they are.
 
dixieprincess said:
some of these guys in prison actually deserve a lot worse than what there going through in my opinion but it’s not my job to punish it’s my job to make sure they don’t escape and do what they are supposed to do.
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I couldn't agree more. I am not at all thinking no one should be punished, but rather that the punishment should be what the good book prescribed. Restitution and restoration to good standing, or execution for crimes that God said warranted that ....when all other requirements were met regarding sufficient witnesses and such.
 
Joleneakamama said:
I couldn't agree more. I am not at all thinking no one should be punished, but rather that the punishment should be what the good book prescribed. Restitution and restoration to good standing, or execution for crimes that God said warranted that ....when all other requirements were met regarding sufficient witnesses and such.
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I agree with you. The current penal system is not what is described in God's Word.
 
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