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Respect

B

Bella Richards

New Member
What can a wife do, when she had lost all respect for her husband.
Events over the past 4+ months have caused me to lose any respect I had for my husband.
Is there anything I can do, other than hope that time will heal, to help my marriage?
 
God has not called you to have a good husband. He has called you to be a good wife. God did not command you to fear and obey your husband when he's earned it. He commanded you to fear and obey your husband. God did not tell you to be chaste and mild mannered so you can be an example to a righteous man. He told you to behave towards your husband the way your husband should behave towards God so that through your example you could point a fallen man towards the truth.

If you only intend to be a Godly wife to a perfect man then you should have never married. Men will fail you. Your perfect husband is waiting for you in heaven. Show yourself faithful on earth so you can please Him. Stop worrying about what your earthly husband is or isn't doing and focus on how a Godly wife should act.

Good luck and may God bless you twice as much as you bless your husband.
 
ZecAustin, thank you.
I apologize for not showing my appreciation earlier, but I wanted to think carefully on what was said before I responded. Sometimes I guess I need to be reminded how to move forward.
I'm going back to my refuge, back to focusing only on what I need to improve on myself and pray for God to remove this bitterness from my heart.
I need to do as I did, when I returned from the hospital. I am going to fast and pray. The only things that shall touch my lips, for the next 3+ days are water, milk tea and caraway tea (so as not to lose my milk supply).
I shall fast and pray that the Lord help me find Peace as he did once before.
I ask that you also pray for me, that I find what I need in God and not seek such things from my husband.
Again, Thank You.
 
Well don't risk your milk supply. Keep your vows if your husband doesn't nullify them but a nursing mother shouldn't be fasting.

I know this is hard to hear. I don't say it to be mean or put someone in their place, but its the truth. If you worry about being a good wife in thought and deed, I promise you a righteous God will work on your husband. I'm not saying it will be easy or quick. But it will happen.

Pray for your husband, not that God will make him treat you in a certain way but that he will be blessed. You will see fruits. Even if it gets harder first.
 
ZecAustin said:
Well don't risk your milk supply. Keep your vows if your husband doesn't nullify them but a nursing mother shouldn't be fasting.
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DH had the same concerns. I'll admit that initially, I did go against his advisement, but I broke my fast yesterday and realized I had used a sacred act in rebellion against him. I feel ashamed and have asked forgiveness and that if I have thoughts of doing such again, God will gently correct me and give me a gentle reminder me of the lesson I have just learned. I also confessed having done wrong to my husband and was able to obtain forgiveness from him.

ZecAustin said:
I know this is hard to hear. I don't say it to be mean or put someone in their place, but its the truth. If you worry about being a good wife in thought and deed, I promise you a righteous God will work on your husband. I'm not saying it will be easy or quick. But it will happen.
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While I will admit to a couple of flair ups of a bit of indignation initially, I made sure I prayed over your response as I knew, even then, you were indeed correct. I took no offense in the end and certainly appreciate such candid honesty. Thank You

ZecAustin said:
Pray for your husband, not that God will make him treat you in a certain way but that he will be blessed. You will see fruits. Even if it gets harder first.
Click to expand...

I thought things over throughout the day yesterday and over night and eventually decided to pray for God to grant me acceptance of all that He has given me, for only then will I know peace with where I am, as well as my lot in life. I will make sure that I add your suggestion to my prayer as well and wish I could show my appreciation for the suggestion.

I actually had a wonderful day today, I was playful even and my husband was grateful to hear me genuinely laugh, for the first time in a while.
My mistake, once again, was placing my trust in the wrong people. I should have been placing my trust in God and allowing Him to help carry my burden. I am glad to report that I am on the right path, praying for God to help me keep my eyes and my feet pointed toward Him, that I might not stray from the way He would have me go.
God Bless all of you and Thank You!
 
Dear God, help me keep my eyes and my feet pointed toward You, that I might not stray from the way You would have me go, grant me acceptance of all that You have given me and let me find Peace in Your Grace. Heavenly Father, I pray for my Husband, that he may be blessed and bear good fruits, be full of grace and truth and recieve Your Gifts with open arms and an open heart.
In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen.
 
Poly_submit said:
I also confessed having done wrong to my husband and was able to obtain forgiveness from him.
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Just wondering, this might seem an odd question, but are there things that you have done wrong to your husband that you have not been able to obtain forgiveness from him for, or that he has been unwilling to forgive for a long period of time?
 
Bella Richards said:
What can a wife do, when she had lost all respect for her husband.
Events over the past 4+ months have caused me to lose any respect I had for my husband.
Is there anything I can do, other than hope that time will heal, to help my marriage?
Click to expand...

I trust you have re-found a firm platform to stand on by now since it's been nearly 2 weeks.. I just wanted to add from my own experience that the respect is restored somewhat "suddenly" when I re-read the passages in the Scriptures that specifically call for reverencing the husband. By suddenly, I mean that when enough reasons tick in my head why it is good to make the effort to respect then it works again. It's very hard though at first when the perspective has been lost.

Glad to learn that I am not the only one having a fight with myself over this. :)
 
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