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sister-wife vs. wife-in-law

Which word would you use and like better, sister-wife or wife-in-law?

  • Sister-wife

    Votes: 13 59.1%

  • Wife-in-law

    Votes: 1 4.5%

  • Neither

    Votes: 8 36.4%
  • Total voters
    22
PolyPride

PolyPride

Member
I was thinking that "wife-in-law" would be a good alternative word for "sister-wife". "Wife-in-law" is not in wide usage that I know of except as a slang word or a joke word with some and even as that I've never heard anyone use it except for on the internet. It's not even in any dictionaries except Urbandictionary.com which is not really a formal dictionary since anyone can post whatever slang words and define them themselves. I defined it as simply being, "the wife of one's husband." It's a bit tricky because the "one" I'm referring to is also a wife but there is another wife in the family that she shares her husband with. On another part of this forum I've also defined it in more detail to mean, "a relational term that a wife would use to refer to another wife that her husband has." I like the term "wife-in-law" because it sounds more modern-like, and it has a formal feel to it, like it could become a standard and common word that most polygamous families would use. And lets face it, some sister-wives that don't get along would find humor here just as we know those bubbly warm feelings that come up when we think about the "mother-in-law." Also, the Mormons didn't come up with this either, because I haven't heard them use the term at all.


Would you refer to another wife your husband has as your wife-in-law?

Would you prefer to use wife-in-law over sister-wife?
 
Any suggestion is a good as anyone elses, but nah.... "Wife in law" sounds like something has progressed between you and your mother in law. (God forbid!) And now since a mother in law can not be a wife, she must be a "wife in law" . (shudder!)

If all your in-laws found out about your wife-in-laws, it could lead to clan warfare in Arkansas. (or maybe clan consolidation)

If a wife-in-law had children then would they call their mother, "mother-in-law"? That could offend your first wifes mother at Thanksgiving dinner.

And if all your wives-in-laws had children then they would all be "mother-in-laws". And certainly a house full of "mother-in-laws" That just sounds wrong.

People would after a while would leave out the law and just say "wife in" But that is better than monogamy where they have serial 'wife in's and wife outs'

Probably, try calling your first "wife-in-law" and judge by her reaction how well the other ladies in the home would take it.

There you go, now I like the term after roasting it. Ha.... ;)
 
welltan said:
Any suggestion is a good as anyone elses, but nah.... "Wife in law" sounds like something has progressed between you and your mother in law. (God forbid!) And now since a mother in law can not be a wife, she must be a "wife in law" . (shudder!)
Click to expand...

After this thought, thank goodness I already slept and I don't plan on sleeping for a while so that I don't have any nightmares!

welltan said:
If a wife-in-law had children then would they call their mother, "mother-in-law"? That could offend your first wifes mother at Thanksgiving dinner.

And if all your wives-in-laws had children then they would all be "mother-in-laws". And certainly a house full of "mother-in-laws" That just sounds wrong.

People would after a while would leave out the law and just say "wife in" But that is better than monogamy where they have serial 'wife in's and wife outs'
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I honestly don't think the non-biological mother of the kids would be called mother-in-law but she would at least be a stepmother or even an aunt if the kid's dad is married to 2 sisters. I think the kids can just simply call all of their dad's wives, mother or mom just as some children do in polygamous families today.

welltan said:
Probably, try calling your first wife "wife-in-law" and judge by her reaction how well the other ladies in the home would take it.

There you go, now I like the term after roasting it. Ha.... ;)
Click to expand...

The husband is married to each wife so he would not refer to any of them as wife-in-law but just a wife. Wife-in-law would only be for the wives in polygamy to refer to each other as, and maybe the husband would use the term only if he's talking about how one wife would refer to the other wife.
 
As a wife, if we ever find our match in every way, I rather just call her sister. She wouldn't be my wife and so I don't like the term and what it rather implies. I would stick to sister and/or friend and hubby could just call us each his wife. I don't feel the need to cloak it in odd terminologies or anything like that.
 
Me thinks adding anything with an "in-LAW" is just asking for trouble. "Sister" sounds good to me. Will there be a perfect solution?
 
In thinking about the term wife-in-law, we have to remember that under current law, that would be a little illegal.

If my wife's brother is my brother-in-law, then you could make a case that his wife is my wife-in-law? Now that would be confusing!!

Maybe sister-wife would be the better term for now, or maybe co-wife??
 
mattmorgan77 said:
In thinking about the term wife-in-law, we have to remember that under current law, that would be a little illegal.

If my wife's brother is my brother-in-law, then you could make a case that his wife is my wife-in-law? Now that would be confusing!!

Maybe sister-wife would be the better term for now, or maybe co-wife??
Click to expand...

You would call the wife of your brother-in-law a sister-in-law. The wife of your brother-in-law would call you brother-in-law.

Sister-in-law:
1. the sister of one's husband or wife.
3. the wife of the brother of one's ["one's" would be referring to you] husband or wife.

source: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sister-in-law

Brother-in-law:
1.the brother of one's husband or wife.
3. the husband of one's ["one's" is referring to the wife of your brother-in-law] wife's or husband's sister

source: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/brother-in-law


Wife-in-law is only a term for polygamy if you go by how I defined it in the very first post. It's a term that two wives would be to each other when they share the same husband, so if you don't have a second wife then your wife has no wife-in-law. The only way your scenario would be possible is if you were married to your brother-in-law (which I'm sure isn't gonna happen), otherwise without polygamy or a marital connection to him, wife-in-law doesn't fit.


Anyone else can refer to the very last post, which should be my post, on this page or page 1 for further breakdown on wife-in-law.
 
In this day of blended families, it is too complicated to put a title on every relation you have. Your brother-in-law's wife is you wife's sister-in-law. It gets more confusing until we discover that indeed, I am my own grandma.

SweetLissa
 
mattmorgan77 said:
If my wife's brother is my brother-in-law, then you could make a case that his wife is my wife-in-law? Now that would be confusing
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That was supposed to be meant tongue-in-cheek :)

I guess it really would depend on what the wives in the particular family want to refer to themselves as. As for a definition, I think the second one proposed ("a relational term that a wife would use to refer to another wife that her husband has.") would be the more concise one to put into a dictionary.
 
The best way I can demonstrate how wife-in-law follows is by example and I'll try to break it down in an easy way to avoid confusion:

There are only 4 in-law terms that I've seen in dictionaries and that I've heard used in the English language and those are brother/sister/father/mother-in-laws (there are no cousin-in-laws, nephew-in-laws, and certainly no brother's wife-in-law in common English dictionaries).


When it comes to a wife, an in-law term would be attached to her husband's relatives or whatever relationship he has with someone within the 4 in-law terms that I mentioned that are in the dictionaries, although wife-in-law is an additional word but it’s made up. The brother of a husband would be the wife's brother-in-law. The sister of a husband would be the wife's sister-in-law. The 2nd or any other wife of a husband would the 1st wife's wife-in-law. The only difference is that wife-in-law is not a term established through blood relations as the other in-law terms are. but it is established by marriage to the same husband (that's different than saying the two wives are married to each other). That is to say that both wives are the relatives or part of the family of the husband through marriage, so a 1st wife would connect the term "in-law" to whatever relation another woman is to the husband, and if that other woman is the 2nd wife (wife being the keyword) then the 1st wife would connect "in-law" with the word wife giving you, "wife-in-law."
 
I know most people here disagree, but for us just wife is fine.

It does denote a relationship, but I think there is an implicit relationship.

Like them or not another Christian is a 'brother in Christ' to me, I had absolutely nothing to do with their salvation and have no ties or promises to them, but because of our individual bonds to the same lord we have a relationship to each other.

In the same way two wives have a relationship to each other because of their promises to me. Wife is a close term, but for us we don't need to create another layer of separation in terms.
 
I think it's good to brainstorm with new ideas and opinions, but in the end it all comes down to the individual family and what they choose to do and the terms they choose to use.

Personally the only thing that concerns me with the term "wife-in-law" is that in some round about way that could be used by the state to say that you are somehow claiming to be legally married to each lady. Seeing as how the term "in-law" is used. Apropos, you are legally connected to your "mother-in-law", "father-in-law", "brother-in-law", etc.
 
The Duke Of Marshall said:
I think it's good to brainstorm with new ideas and opinions, but in the end it all comes down to the individual family and what they choose to do and the terms they choose to use.

Personally the only thing that concerns me with the term "wife-in-law" is that in some round about way that could be used by the state to say that you are somehow claiming to be legally married to each lady. Seeing as how the term "in-law" is used. Apropos, you are legally connected to your "mother-in-law", "father-in-law", "brother-in-law", etc.
Click to expand...

Hopefully, we won't have to worry about polygamy being illegal for too long more.
 
PolyPride said:
Hopefully, we won't have to worry about polygamy being illegal for too long more.
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As you already may know that's something that definately gets mixed reactions here within the group. I myself am mixed as well. It scares me for it to be legalized and it scares me for it to remain illegal. The scary thing about remaining illegal is that good honest people will continue to be oppressed and the scary thing about legallizing it is that bad people will misuse and abuse it. I guess I'm more for a grass roots movement where we continue along slowly but surely. We continue with the fellowship within the group and continue with the retreats in supporting and uplifting families and people. We become more public in our interactions with various people and even strangers such as I did with the lady at the jewelry store. Eventually society will just view plural marriage as part of everyday life. The way the gays have gained support. That's when we eventually move into legallizing it. I don't think society is ready for this to be thrust into public all of a sudden.

Consider the Romans as well. Their view of patriarchy gave the father the complete legal right to kill any member of his family underneath him with absolutely no legal recourse at all. However, this act was so looked down upon by society that it was rarely if ever used. I think the same would happen with legallizing plural marriage all of a sudden. If it was suddenly legalized the battle with social beliefs would still wage on for years to come.
 
Clearly this is something that PolyPride is very passionate about. Fair enough. See if it catches on.

Clearly there are also problems with wife-in-law. And some don't like "sister-wife" due to it's fundie association. Also fair enough. But if we need a new definition ...

Your husband's children by another wife are your ... STEP-children. And your children's relation to the same would be ... STEP- brother or sister.

So, it would seem to follow that you might refer to your step-children's mother, if she isn't your husband's EX-wife, as your STEP-wife, with a remarkable degree of clarity. "The wife" in another line attached to your husband.

Oooooh, I'm feeling so erudite!! :ugeek:
 
Actually the children, if both by the same father would be half-siblings, not step-siblings. But definitely the children of my husband's other wife are my step-children, just the same as if we were married to him separately from each other. I had a relative with a funny situation. Of course they are not poly but here is the situation
My relative was married to G. They got divorced after having one child.
G eventually married again and had another child
They got divorced. That child was badly neglected and ended up living with the first wife.

When asked what they called each other they replied, step mom and step child. I guess it doesn't matter what order stuff happens in, but I thought that was interesting.

SweetLissa
 
In some other reading this evening, I ran across the term "cowife" or "co-wife". I guess that could work as well.
 
"Half-wife" - The all new RPG coming to an XBox near you.
 
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