So, you say you want more than 1?

[Sean Miller]

I'd love to hear others who are living PM and their experiences as well....

Today as I was greeted by one of my ladies in the morning, I quickly recognized the day was starting with another challenge as she began to share the events that have occurred thus far. Thankfully, this time it was mainly just listening that was needed and some problem solving with a suggested solution. But it's never that simple in PM, there is almost always another party involved children or another one of the ladies of the house. After we finished talking and cuddling her to cool things down I'm immediately thrown into another challenge with one of my other gals. Most times it's usually a emotional "feeling" based concern, and if your tactful you can respond with a gentle answer to resolve the problem.

I don't know if it's me and the ladies I am attracted to but they are very sensitive, needy and emotional beings, the slightest things throw them off. I think at least once a day I'm working at resolving a concern, problem, attitude issues, hurt feelings, insecurity or even an emotional manipulation behavior. Given we lost our 9 month old a month ago now, that doesn't make things easier!

Honestly not just any guy can handle plural marriage, and it has to be taken with deep thought and regular prayer before deciding if it's right for you.

I never was prepared fully for the challenges to come, especially not losing a child and what challenges that brought in it self! Most days I go to sleep just fixing/ listening to a issue and wake up to a new one. I work nights because I live in Thailand and I own a company in the states so I'm up late and up late (11am).

PM is wonderful, and has more positive things than negative, but that doesn't mean it's easy, because it's NOT. So if your not very patient or struggle with problem solving you'll need to learn how if you want more than one lady. That's not even mentioning the stress of work and children that get added to the mix. If your currently in the process or considering taking another lady im happy to help share my experiences, and my ladies are happy to do the same for those of you who are married to a husband who wants another wife and struggling with the concept.

 

[rockfox]

I don't know if it's me and the ladies I am attracted to but they are very sensitive, needy and emotional beings, the slightest things throw them off. I think at least once a day I'm working at resolving a concern, problem, attitude issues, hurt feelings, insecurity or even an emotional manipulation behavior. Given we lost our 9 month old a month ago now, that doesn't make things easier!

A lot of that could simply be dealing with the trauma. But those are also common tools women use to gain attention. Any wife has the strong potential to become more that way once a second is around to compete for your time.

 

[Cap]

I'd love to hear others who are living PM and their experiences as well....

Today as I was greeted by one of my ladies in the morning, I quickly recognized the day was starting with another challenge as she began to share the events that have occurred thus far. Thankfully, this time it was mainly just listening that was needed and some problem solving with a suggested solution. But it's never that simple in PM, there is almost always another party involved children or another one of the ladies of the house. After we finished talking and cuddling her to cool things down I'm immediately thrown into another challenge with one of my other gals. Most times it's usually a emotional "feeling" based concern, and if your tactful you can respond with a gentle answer to resolve the problem.

I don't know if it's me and the ladies I am attracted to but they are very sensitive, needy and emotional beings, the slightest things throw them off. I think at least once a day I'm working at resolving a concern, problem, attitude issues, hurt feelings, insecurity or even an emotional manipulation behavior. Given we lost our 9 month old a month ago now, that doesn't make things easier!

Honestly not just any guy can handle plural marriage, and it has to be taken with deep thought and regular prayer before deciding if it's right for you.

I never was prepared fully for the challenges to come, especially not losing a child and what challenges that brought in it self! Most days I go to sleep just fixing/ listening to a issue and wake up to a new one. I work nights because I live in Thailand and I own a company in the states so I'm up late and up late (11am).

PM is wonderful, and has more positive things than negative, but that doesn't mean it's easy, because it's NOT. So if your not very patient or struggle with problem solving you'll need to learn how if you want more than one lady. That's not even mentioning the stress of work and children that get added to the mix. If your currently in the process or considering taking another lady im happy to help share my experiences, and my ladies are happy to do the same for those of you who are married to a husband who wants another wife and struggling with the concept.

This is the reason I come here. Thank you so much for sharing you life. Don't mean to make light of your struggles it's just seeing PM for real is the most important thing here I feel.

 

[Sean Miller]

A lot of that could simply be dealing with the trauma. But those are also common tools women use to gain attention. Any wife has the strong potential to become more that way once a second is around to compete for your time.

Certain things are for attention, most aren't though. If this was only relevant to after the fact of our loss I wouldn't even mention it. However this is just a common connection with upbringing and length of time being saved and being a lady....

 

[cnystrom]

I never was prepared fully for the challenges to come, ...

I think few people are. We just have challenges and then are forced to rise to the occasion. Or perhaps the things that we are prepared for no longer seem like challenges? I am not sure.

I do know that Jesus is sufficient. Also that it does not rest on our shoulders. Whether we succeed or fail, that in the end we succeed because Jesus has won. The final victory is not in doubt and that gives us strength to carry on.

Lastly, I have no idea how the other guys, the non-Christians do it. It seems like life would be impossible without Christ.

 

[Sean Miller]

I think few people are. We just have challenges and then are forced to rise to the occasion. Or perhaps the things that we are prepared for no longer seem like challenges? I am not sure.

I do know that Jesus is sufficient. Also that it does not rest on our shoulders. Whether we succeed or fail, that in the end we succeed because Jesus has won. The final victory is not in doubt and that gives us strength to carry on.

Lastly, I have no idea how the other guys, the non-Christians do it. It seems like life would be impossible without Christ.

Amen! I don't know what I would do without Him, I must admit, I take God for granted some times. I really have no idea how no believers deal with.... well.... life! I really do believe the holy spirit gives me more help than I know.

 

[Keith Martin]

I don't know if it's me and the ladies I am attracted to but they are very sensitive, needy and emotional beings, the slightest things throw them off. I think at least once a day I'm working at resolving a concern, problem, attitude issues, hurt feelings, insecurity or even an emotional manipulation behavior..

and being a lady....

I believe you nailed it right there, Sean: this is just a common connection with . . . "being a lady." Not all women are that way, but almost all of them are, no matter what vaunted position they might hold in society at large or the business world. And, in my experience, almost all, but not all of course, of the women I've known in my personal and professional lives who have not been regularly prone to emotional breakdown and manipulation have been straight-up lesbians, and I don't think I'd get too much argument from anyone about the fact that those women tend to be more masculine than the average SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy).

To be willing to be married to one woman necessarily indicates a willingness to be a rock for a water-melting cauldron of overflowing emotions. To be willing to be married to more than one woman necessarily indicates a willingness to be the rock for numerous water-melting cauldrons of overflowing emotions, compounded significantly, I would assume, by the exponential ways in which the women (and their children) will inevitably set each other off. Such a conglomeration of challenges would test the very best among us, which I say as encouragement to us men to consistently lean toward being supportive of each other here and leaning away from casting aspersions. [I don't know if anyone has discussed this prior to my relatively-recent arrival, but I find as a common theme under the surface for some men that they appear to be doing what is called 'overcompensating': in exchange for getting to feel righteous about being or wanting to be polygamous, it can be tempting to feel like one must go overboard on the Piety Bandwagon in all other respects in order to justify one's unconscious guilt for the 'sin' of polygyny.]

 

[Biblebeliever]

I attended the wedding of good friends on Saturday. I was absolutely blown away by the vows the groom made.
He stated in his vows: "I promise to marry 4 better, and 4 worse, 4 richer, and 4 poorer!"
I can't wait until he gets back from his honeymoon, and I ask him if he remembers what he said in his vows, and
when can I meet his other 16 brides?!!!
This wedding was at an evangelical church, and I was shocked that the standard phrase, "Forsaking all others, I
promise to be faithful to you alone," was not given for the groom to repeat.

 

[FollowingHim]

"Don't cry honey, it doesn't mean you're not good enough, remember that 4 of them will be worse than you"

 

[rejoicinghandmaid]

@Sean Miller--thanks so much for sharing your heart and your struggles. One can tell that you're willing to comfort and nuture your ladies in the midst of their struggle at the moment. The dynamics of losing a child are completely overwhelming in a monogamous setting. You're dealing with that in a PM setting! It's also encouraging to hear you say as a man that you lean heavily upon the Lord. Us women are very emotional beings--no doubt about that--some more than others. When we need a shoulder or a cuddle, the last thing we need is our guy to be judging us because we're emotional or thinking that we're trying to purposefully manipulate--especially if we aren't--not to say that doesn't or can't be the case. I would like to think that YHWH gives you discernment to know the difference and guides you in dealing with the difference. I hope your ladies appreciate you for the man you are to them and that they desire to love each other in an effort to lighten your load rather than make it heavier. Praying for healing in the weeks and months which lie ahead. Each of you are grieving differently and will heal on an individual time frame. Loving each other and pulling together rather than apart is critical. Sounds like you're got some pretty strong glue and that you're plugged into the glue-Giver! Be encouraged in the Lord!