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Tell Me Your Story
- Thread starter Doc
- Start date
I think I've shared this in other places, but I'll try and get the ball rolling since nobody else is biting!
When I was young, my family attended a number of different local churches, until my parents felt unaccepted at any of them for different theological reasons (Creation and the Holy Spirit primarily). From the age of 9, I attended no formal church. Instead, we had "church time" at home every Sunday morning. This comprised us all sitting and silently reading an age-appropriate version of the Bible for half an hour. Often we'd get hooked into whatever we were reading and go for longer than that, or switch to reading some other Christian literature afterwards. As well as our Bibles, my parents provided us with an extensive range of Answers in Genesis literature on Creation. So I spent many hours reading about Creation science, and reading the Bible.
This gave me a solid understanding that the Bible was actually correct, and we can believe every part of it even where it disagrees with modern culture. At first I mainly understood this around Creation, and I got into many debates at high school over this topic with my biology teacher! This gave me a love of science in general, and led to me going on to university and becoming a research scientist - but that's a side issue.
As I dug further into the Bible, knowing I could actually trust what it said, it became extremely obvious that there were all these people throughout the Old Testament with multiple wives. And nowhere did the Bible ever say it was wrong. I didn't pay too much attention to this, or make a big deal of it. It was just a plain, obvious fact - polygamy was ok with God. I understood this from my early teenage years. I never thought it was a realistic option for our society, I thought it was banned for those in church leadership, but I didn't have a problem with it. I started to get very frustrated with stories of missionaries trying to stamp our polygamy in third world countries, because they weren't teaching Christianity but rather teaching the culture they had grown up with and calling it Christianity.
In my late teens I used to joke that I was going to move to a country where polygamy was legal and have 5 wives - two to work, one to cook, one to clean, and one to be my "personal assistant". When I told this story to the woman who is now my wife, she didn't run but said she'd like to be the "personal assistant". Of course we both thought I was joking at the time...
A year ago I decided to do a controversial sermon at our church, and decided to shock people into reading their Bibles by speaking on three topics they would never have heard preached on before due to their controversy (I like preaching on controversial topics, it's far more fun than just hearing "God loves you" for the millionth time). I preached on circumcision, whether cohabitation without State marriage was really a sin, and polygamy. I gave out internet references for all three topics and challenged every member of the congregation to pick one issue they were worked up about and investigate it more fully for themselves. And I chose myself to investigate polygyny further.
I ran across this website and other related ones as part of my research for this sermon. I was amazed to find there were Christians actually living this life in the West, and it suddenly opened my wife and my eyes to a whole new world of possibility for our own lives!
And here we are now. I have no idea what God has in store for us, be it continued monogamy or something more complicated, but I'm looking forward to finding out. The more I get to know people with multiple wives, the more complicated I realise polygamy is, and the greater need I see for this ministry, to help people through the real complexities that this life brings with it, so they can enjoy the blessings that come with it also. God's plans are crazy and wonderful, I look forward to continue to live them as He reveals them.
When I was young, my family attended a number of different local churches, until my parents felt unaccepted at any of them for different theological reasons (Creation and the Holy Spirit primarily). From the age of 9, I attended no formal church. Instead, we had "church time" at home every Sunday morning. This comprised us all sitting and silently reading an age-appropriate version of the Bible for half an hour. Often we'd get hooked into whatever we were reading and go for longer than that, or switch to reading some other Christian literature afterwards. As well as our Bibles, my parents provided us with an extensive range of Answers in Genesis literature on Creation. So I spent many hours reading about Creation science, and reading the Bible.
This gave me a solid understanding that the Bible was actually correct, and we can believe every part of it even where it disagrees with modern culture. At first I mainly understood this around Creation, and I got into many debates at high school over this topic with my biology teacher! This gave me a love of science in general, and led to me going on to university and becoming a research scientist - but that's a side issue.
As I dug further into the Bible, knowing I could actually trust what it said, it became extremely obvious that there were all these people throughout the Old Testament with multiple wives. And nowhere did the Bible ever say it was wrong. I didn't pay too much attention to this, or make a big deal of it. It was just a plain, obvious fact - polygamy was ok with God. I understood this from my early teenage years. I never thought it was a realistic option for our society, I thought it was banned for those in church leadership, but I didn't have a problem with it. I started to get very frustrated with stories of missionaries trying to stamp our polygamy in third world countries, because they weren't teaching Christianity but rather teaching the culture they had grown up with and calling it Christianity.
In my late teens I used to joke that I was going to move to a country where polygamy was legal and have 5 wives - two to work, one to cook, one to clean, and one to be my "personal assistant". When I told this story to the woman who is now my wife, she didn't run but said she'd like to be the "personal assistant". Of course we both thought I was joking at the time...
A year ago I decided to do a controversial sermon at our church, and decided to shock people into reading their Bibles by speaking on three topics they would never have heard preached on before due to their controversy (I like preaching on controversial topics, it's far more fun than just hearing "God loves you" for the millionth time). I preached on circumcision, whether cohabitation without State marriage was really a sin, and polygamy. I gave out internet references for all three topics and challenged every member of the congregation to pick one issue they were worked up about and investigate it more fully for themselves. And I chose myself to investigate polygyny further.
I ran across this website and other related ones as part of my research for this sermon. I was amazed to find there were Christians actually living this life in the West, and it suddenly opened my wife and my eyes to a whole new world of possibility for our own lives!
And here we are now. I have no idea what God has in store for us, be it continued monogamy or something more complicated, but I'm looking forward to finding out. The more I get to know people with multiple wives, the more complicated I realise polygamy is, and the greater need I see for this ministry, to help people through the real complexities that this life brings with it, so they can enjoy the blessings that come with it also. God's plans are crazy and wonderful, I look forward to continue to live them as He reveals them.
It was about 2005, give or take a year, when I stumbled upon a ‘news’ article, purportedly written by a lawyer wife. It detailed how she encouraged her husband to take their ;aw firm’s new ‘junior’ as an additional wife. While the article did not state anything specifically, the context indicated that the family held to a variant of Mormonism. The key factor in my drawing this conclusion was that the story was set in Utah, but I could be wrong … it has happened often before.
As was my habit, I printed off the article and read it later. I put it down, and then read it again. Over the following weeks, months and years, I did further reading and online research. I studied the Bible, re-reading what I had previously read, but now in a different light.
I grew into believing that polygyny was valid. But God has his plan, and I just have to be responsible for my part of it. My first and only wife and I have now been married 26+ years. God has used her to make me far more patient and long-suffering than I would have become through unmarried interaction. I do not know why I have been brought to a place that is so lonely, but God has his plan, with all its potential permutations and combinations.
As much as I am a ‘believer’, I have not been brought to a situation which would indicate that I am ‘called’ to a plural life (as much as I see that benefits of such). Although we go to church every Sunday, even when travelling away from home, I struggle to find people who take the Bible seriously. Sure, many take their church’s teaching on the Bible seriously, but I find it so hard to find anyone who will have an open minded conversation about various aspects of Bible doctrine.
My wife is extremely unfit and is obese. We took a holiday to tropical Asia recently. It was very warm out, and my wife was perspiring profusely. I planned everything so that we did not have to walk too far too often. However, whenever we did walk, my wife would amble along at her maximum cruising speed of three kilometres per hour – accepted ‘normal’ human walking speed in five kilometres per hour. My wife accuses me of ‘racing ahead’ when I forget myself and walk at ‘normal’ speed.
I had raised the issue of Biblical polygyny with my wife. She occasionally lets slip that I can have another wife if she can have another man, but will not discuss the Biblical warrant for either. She avoids the subject; in fact, she avoids discussion of anything serious. If I was to describe her in one word, it would be ‘afraid’. She is so afraid of so many things. That is why, I suspect, that she is often abusive of me, though when I raise the issue, she denies that she has done anything wrong, but stops the behaviour immediately.
Several people at work (male and female) have said that would have divorced my wife years ago, if they had been subjected to the way she occasionally treats me. But, unfortunately I take my marriage vows too seriously, even if I believe that she had something else in mind when she promised to 'love, honour and obey'.
We have no deep close friendships with any sincerely Christian women, none what so ever. We know many women who have been Christian for decades, but very few know much of Biblical doctrine.
When I get the opportunity, I try a safe doctrinal topic for serious discussion, like ‘where are at least two versus in the Bible that command that the day of worship to change from Saturday to Sunday’. I receive a variety of responses, but no (non SDA) person yet has said, ‘you know, it really is just a human convention that is unsubstantiated in Scripture’ – and before anyone jumps to that conclusion, I am not an SDA either.
The couple of Christian once-friends with whom I have raised the issue of Biblical marriage and polygyny, have blasted me out of the water and then ignored the international law of the sea and sailed off refusing to drag me safely from the briny deep.
They still run away from me whenever I come by to catch up in an attempt to re-establish friendships. I really am like Frankenstein’s monster, completely and utterly alone. The consolation is that God has provided me with a few people at work who have supported me, at work – even though they had been informed by others, that I am a nasty, nasty person who raised for discussion the issue of polygyny with a 30-something, never married, female colleague, who lamented not being able to find a suitable man.
God is gracious to me, and to Him be the glory.
That is part of my story.
As was my habit, I printed off the article and read it later. I put it down, and then read it again. Over the following weeks, months and years, I did further reading and online research. I studied the Bible, re-reading what I had previously read, but now in a different light.
I grew into believing that polygyny was valid. But God has his plan, and I just have to be responsible for my part of it. My first and only wife and I have now been married 26+ years. God has used her to make me far more patient and long-suffering than I would have become through unmarried interaction. I do not know why I have been brought to a place that is so lonely, but God has his plan, with all its potential permutations and combinations.
As much as I am a ‘believer’, I have not been brought to a situation which would indicate that I am ‘called’ to a plural life (as much as I see that benefits of such). Although we go to church every Sunday, even when travelling away from home, I struggle to find people who take the Bible seriously. Sure, many take their church’s teaching on the Bible seriously, but I find it so hard to find anyone who will have an open minded conversation about various aspects of Bible doctrine.
My wife is extremely unfit and is obese. We took a holiday to tropical Asia recently. It was very warm out, and my wife was perspiring profusely. I planned everything so that we did not have to walk too far too often. However, whenever we did walk, my wife would amble along at her maximum cruising speed of three kilometres per hour – accepted ‘normal’ human walking speed in five kilometres per hour. My wife accuses me of ‘racing ahead’ when I forget myself and walk at ‘normal’ speed.
I had raised the issue of Biblical polygyny with my wife. She occasionally lets slip that I can have another wife if she can have another man, but will not discuss the Biblical warrant for either. She avoids the subject; in fact, she avoids discussion of anything serious. If I was to describe her in one word, it would be ‘afraid’. She is so afraid of so many things. That is why, I suspect, that she is often abusive of me, though when I raise the issue, she denies that she has done anything wrong, but stops the behaviour immediately.
Several people at work (male and female) have said that would have divorced my wife years ago, if they had been subjected to the way she occasionally treats me. But, unfortunately I take my marriage vows too seriously, even if I believe that she had something else in mind when she promised to 'love, honour and obey'.
We have no deep close friendships with any sincerely Christian women, none what so ever. We know many women who have been Christian for decades, but very few know much of Biblical doctrine.
When I get the opportunity, I try a safe doctrinal topic for serious discussion, like ‘where are at least two versus in the Bible that command that the day of worship to change from Saturday to Sunday’. I receive a variety of responses, but no (non SDA) person yet has said, ‘you know, it really is just a human convention that is unsubstantiated in Scripture’ – and before anyone jumps to that conclusion, I am not an SDA either.
The couple of Christian once-friends with whom I have raised the issue of Biblical marriage and polygyny, have blasted me out of the water and then ignored the international law of the sea and sailed off refusing to drag me safely from the briny deep.
They still run away from me whenever I come by to catch up in an attempt to re-establish friendships. I really am like Frankenstein’s monster, completely and utterly alone. The consolation is that God has provided me with a few people at work who have supported me, at work – even though they had been informed by others, that I am a nasty, nasty person who raised for discussion the issue of polygyny with a 30-something, never married, female colleague, who lamented not being able to find a suitable man.
God is gracious to me, and to Him be the glory.
That is part of my story.
P. Jagger
New Member
For me, PM wasn't a lightning bolt moment followed by a glorious revelation. It was softer and more gentle than that. When I was a child, I always knew I wanted children one day. There's never been a moment's doubt about that, and in fact, the topic of children was something my husband and I discussed on our second date. His desire for children was a selling point for me. As a teenager, I didn't date much, but always knew I wanted to be married one day. And after I got married, I realized I wanted another wife to join our family. It never seemed to need an explanation. I felt like it was as natural as wanting a husband and children.
I grew up in the church (not a pro-poly one), so I'm familiar with stories of polygamists like Jacob and Abraham and David, etc. Of course I heard the "Old Testament God" vs. "New Testament God" argument, but never bought it. How could He be the same forever, but then change rules mid-game? And why were some parts of the OT valid (10 Commandments, etc) but others invalid? It stunk of medaling.
As you might imagine, my husband didn't take much convincing. :lol: Like myself, he said it just felt like a natural progression. He always emphasised my value and importance to him, and stressed that this wasn't him chasing tail - it was a mutual journey.
The only gf he's ever dated since we've gone poly didn't last long. She never could come to terms with me being in the picture. Now, my husband worries that he ruined a good friendship (with her), but what's done is done. Obviously he still cares for her and has regrets. But if I may throw out my opinion - she lost a good man. As his wife, I'm half of who he is, and I like to think I make him a BETTER man. She never got to see the best sides of him: husband, provider, etc.
We've stayed open to more possibilities, but honestly, I don't feel like right now is the best time to add to our family. We're focused on strengthening our relationship with the Lord and each other. If there's someone out there for us (I'm sure there is!), that's great. Meanwhile, I'm going to love the life I've been given!
I grew up in the church (not a pro-poly one), so I'm familiar with stories of polygamists like Jacob and Abraham and David, etc. Of course I heard the "Old Testament God" vs. "New Testament God" argument, but never bought it. How could He be the same forever, but then change rules mid-game? And why were some parts of the OT valid (10 Commandments, etc) but others invalid? It stunk of medaling.
As you might imagine, my husband didn't take much convincing. :lol: Like myself, he said it just felt like a natural progression. He always emphasised my value and importance to him, and stressed that this wasn't him chasing tail - it was a mutual journey.
The only gf he's ever dated since we've gone poly didn't last long. She never could come to terms with me being in the picture. Now, my husband worries that he ruined a good friendship (with her), but what's done is done. Obviously he still cares for her and has regrets. But if I may throw out my opinion - she lost a good man. As his wife, I'm half of who he is, and I like to think I make him a BETTER man. She never got to see the best sides of him: husband, provider, etc.
We've stayed open to more possibilities, but honestly, I don't feel like right now is the best time to add to our family. We're focused on strengthening our relationship with the Lord and each other. If there's someone out there for us (I'm sure there is!), that's great. Meanwhile, I'm going to love the life I've been given!
Good idea DOC, it would be good to hear more stories DOC, we can all learn from this excellent thread that was DOC's idea, DOC... 
Now for the wife's version.
This was hilarious! I remember talking about this in front of Samuel's university friends and seeing them shake their heads at us. I was never serious though, it was all a silly joke, because polygamy is wrong-right?
After we had been married a year, I was watching something on television, I think it was about Warren Jeffs but I'm not 100% sure. I very clearly remember Samuel coming home from work, me telling him how sick this whole thing was because the guy was claiming to be a Christian and yet he had multiple wives for a start...
Excuse me?!
We perhaps should have had this conversation earlier, but it just never really came up. I threw some bible verses at him and he went through them and then showed me in the bible how it is ok. Cue freaking out internally. But then he said it wasn't something that people did nowdays, it was more of a social welfare thing and since in NZ women were covered financially by the government there was no need for it. Ok, breathing again, all good.
But what about in countries where there is no social welfare?
Fast forward five years. Samuel was doing a sermon at church and told me it was free choice, rather than doing a chapter like we usually do. I smiled at him and said one word, "Polygamy?" We both were sick of people being so against it 'because the bible said so'. Actually, a year before this, I had some Jehovah's witnesses come around and we talked about things that people got wrong in the bible. I talked to them about polygamy, and they never came back...
In the middle of preparing this sermon Samuel was at the computer and turns to me and says, "There's a website here for Christians who are actually doing this! In America!"
Blew me away. People actually did this? Really?
After his sermon he couldn't get it out of his head. He looked at me one day, in pain, and said that he wasn't sure if he was just lusting over this and it was wrong, or if he should be looking into it more. I never told him, but right in that moment I was perfectly acutely aware that he was not wrong. I know my husband, and I know God, and I knew that this was God pulling us in this direction.
But, I asked him to not look into it for a while, just to see if it would go away from his head a little.
A week later I was looking for websites to encourage me in being a mother of lots of little children. Samuel put a few links on my computer for me, including BF, stating that there was bound to be people with lots of kids on here!
I read BF for three days straight, no kidding. Samuel brought home tea, he did dishes, he looked after children. I breast fed, I changed nappies, I threw food at children and I read until I thought i was going to burst with information.
By the end of that three days there was no going back. God had spoken to me again and there was no way that this was not going to happen, it is absolutely His will for our lives, I am positive of that fact.
I have times where I can't possibly do this, there is no way I can share my husband, na uh, not going to happen! Then God swings me around like a boomerang and I end up back where I started, yip I can do this. I even have days where I will ask Samuel to go and get another wife!
Anyway, that's where I'm up to. There really isn't any more to our story until God blesses us with another woman in our family. Hopefully it's just the one, not four! But if so, I'd still like to be the 'personal assistant'
FollowingHim said:
This was hilarious! I remember talking about this in front of Samuel's university friends and seeing them shake their heads at us. I was never serious though, it was all a silly joke, because polygamy is wrong-right?
After we had been married a year, I was watching something on television, I think it was about Warren Jeffs but I'm not 100% sure. I very clearly remember Samuel coming home from work, me telling him how sick this whole thing was because the guy was claiming to be a Christian and yet he had multiple wives for a start...
Excuse me?!
We perhaps should have had this conversation earlier, but it just never really came up. I threw some bible verses at him and he went through them and then showed me in the bible how it is ok. Cue freaking out internally. But then he said it wasn't something that people did nowdays, it was more of a social welfare thing and since in NZ women were covered financially by the government there was no need for it. Ok, breathing again, all good.
But what about in countries where there is no social welfare?
From that moment on I decided I would do everything I possibly could to make sure we were never missionaries!!!
Fast forward five years. Samuel was doing a sermon at church and told me it was free choice, rather than doing a chapter like we usually do. I smiled at him and said one word, "Polygamy?" We both were sick of people being so against it 'because the bible said so'. Actually, a year before this, I had some Jehovah's witnesses come around and we talked about things that people got wrong in the bible. I talked to them about polygamy, and they never came back...
In the middle of preparing this sermon Samuel was at the computer and turns to me and says, "There's a website here for Christians who are actually doing this! In America!"
Blew me away. People actually did this? Really?
After his sermon he couldn't get it out of his head. He looked at me one day, in pain, and said that he wasn't sure if he was just lusting over this and it was wrong, or if he should be looking into it more. I never told him, but right in that moment I was perfectly acutely aware that he was not wrong. I know my husband, and I know God, and I knew that this was God pulling us in this direction.
But, I asked him to not look into it for a while, just to see if it would go away from his head a little.
A week later I was looking for websites to encourage me in being a mother of lots of little children. Samuel put a few links on my computer for me, including BF, stating that there was bound to be people with lots of kids on here!
I read BF for three days straight, no kidding. Samuel brought home tea, he did dishes, he looked after children. I breast fed, I changed nappies, I threw food at children and I read until I thought i was going to burst with information.
By the end of that three days there was no going back. God had spoken to me again and there was no way that this was not going to happen, it is absolutely His will for our lives, I am positive of that fact.
I have times where I can't possibly do this, there is no way I can share my husband, na uh, not going to happen! Then God swings me around like a boomerang and I end up back where I started, yip I can do this. I even have days where I will ask Samuel to go and get another wife!
Anyway, that's where I'm up to. There really isn't any more to our story until God blesses us with another woman in our family. Hopefully it's just the one, not four! But if so, I'd still like to be the 'personal assistant'
Rebel without a clue... That is how.
If you have ever taken one of those spiritual gift tests. Mine prophesy. and it is. I can read people and situations from miles away. That being said with my childhood I have a REAL issue with hypocrisy. I, even as a child, would bust my pastors chops. I grew up in an Ass of God church. PUN INTENDED. It is where I met my bride. Anyway, I would challenge my youth pastor with this one all the time. He came at me with the "render unto Ceasar" argument. To which I reminded him that it is God's image on marriage, not Ceasar's. It escalated up to the head pastor. I was told just drop it. Well, doctrine that doesnt hold to God's word is bad. So eventually ended up in a non-denom church. That pastor would go on every weekend about those bad people who had a few beers and smoked, (baptist background) and condemn them all the time. Well I think the last straw was when I said a little to loudly in response, okay Pastor, how is the buffet at Golden corral today? (He was 100lbs overweight) I had "confronted" him a few times about leadership by example.
Anyway, I have matured a bit since then. I have learned to deal with my own planks.
The truth is there in God's Word about polygamy. Would I call it mandated for all, no. But neither is being a missionary. It is an option and something God can and does tell people to do.
I read a book awhile back called "Not a Fan" and it slammed me. I was always one to say Christian on a survey, and to "try" to be a better person. Then I came to a crossroads. Either God is ALL or He is nothing. I am (arrrgggg) called (read hit upside head with 2x4 to do this, and to stand for God on all His word) and I choose to obey, not to fight.
If you have ever taken one of those spiritual gift tests. Mine prophesy. and it is. I can read people and situations from miles away. That being said with my childhood I have a REAL issue with hypocrisy. I, even as a child, would bust my pastors chops. I grew up in an Ass of God church. PUN INTENDED. It is where I met my bride. Anyway, I would challenge my youth pastor with this one all the time. He came at me with the "render unto Ceasar" argument. To which I reminded him that it is God's image on marriage, not Ceasar's. It escalated up to the head pastor. I was told just drop it. Well, doctrine that doesnt hold to God's word is bad. So eventually ended up in a non-denom church. That pastor would go on every weekend about those bad people who had a few beers and smoked, (baptist background) and condemn them all the time. Well I think the last straw was when I said a little to loudly in response, okay Pastor, how is the buffet at Golden corral today? (He was 100lbs overweight) I had "confronted" him a few times about leadership by example.
Anyway, I have matured a bit since then. I have learned to deal with my own planks.
The truth is there in God's Word about polygamy. Would I call it mandated for all, no. But neither is being a missionary. It is an option and something God can and does tell people to do.
I read a book awhile back called "Not a Fan" and it slammed me. I was always one to say Christian on a survey, and to "try" to be a better person. Then I came to a crossroads. Either God is ALL or He is nothing. I am (arrrgggg) called (read hit upside head with 2x4 to do this, and to stand for God on all His word) and I choose to obey, not to fight.
I discovered Biblical marriage through sin and lust. Like many men I had a strong desire for a certain experience and when an opportunity arose I took it. My wife at the time of course tried to shame me out of it and I twisted scripture to accomplish my own ends. In looking for the justification I desired I actually stumbled upon real truth though.
I had badgered my then-wife for the majority of our marriage about becoming polygamous but always while employing the cowardly tactic of being very jocular so I could pretend to be joking if the conversation blew up in my face. At some point I had found another website that had been put up by the Duke and was shocked and excited to see someone else putting this out there. Of course that first marriage ended in a spectacular divorce and my ex-wife made my acceptance of Biblical marriage one of the reasons she gave the church leadership for divorcing me. For multiple reasons (I was not an innocent victim in this situation) I was asked to leave the church.
In the aftermath of all this I crashed and burned in every aspect of my life. It has taken me years to rebuild. One of the earliest things I did in the rebuilding though was to jettison everything I had ever claimed to believe and start over with only two assumptions A) that there is a God and He is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and B) that He had requirements of me.
With all of my new found free time I started looking into what those requirements were. I was shocked to learn that all of my anger, violence, demand for respect and some pretty extreme sin "addictions" (for want of a better word) were either the dark, twisted results of natural desires and drives that were devoid of Godly motivation or direction. As I learned who God really was and what He had intended men to be (reflections of His primary traits) I naturally came into contact with patriarchy but ultimately decided that most of those who claimed to hold that view were really just tough talking Dobsonites.
In reading many of those forums and articles though I started running into Christian polygamists. I found some more sites and really became reaffirmed that my original beliefs were right but my heart had been as wrong as it could have been.
Simultaneous to all of this I was very blessed to be an acquaintance of a Paul not the Apostle. We had attended the church that had kicked me out together and they subsequently were extremely unbrotherly to Paul and his family in part because Paul had stood against some of the church leadership's fallacies concerning my situation. He encouraged (and challenged) me on many issues and got me involved here.
I am still examining many of my beliefs but much of what the locust had eaten has been restored. Actually living a plural marriage is not an option for me but I believe strongly that the restoration of the western church and the American family is hingent on the correct view of all marriages and so try to remain connected to the Biblical Families family.
I had badgered my then-wife for the majority of our marriage about becoming polygamous but always while employing the cowardly tactic of being very jocular so I could pretend to be joking if the conversation blew up in my face. At some point I had found another website that had been put up by the Duke and was shocked and excited to see someone else putting this out there. Of course that first marriage ended in a spectacular divorce and my ex-wife made my acceptance of Biblical marriage one of the reasons she gave the church leadership for divorcing me. For multiple reasons (I was not an innocent victim in this situation) I was asked to leave the church.
In the aftermath of all this I crashed and burned in every aspect of my life. It has taken me years to rebuild. One of the earliest things I did in the rebuilding though was to jettison everything I had ever claimed to believe and start over with only two assumptions A) that there is a God and He is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and B) that He had requirements of me.
With all of my new found free time I started looking into what those requirements were. I was shocked to learn that all of my anger, violence, demand for respect and some pretty extreme sin "addictions" (for want of a better word) were either the dark, twisted results of natural desires and drives that were devoid of Godly motivation or direction. As I learned who God really was and what He had intended men to be (reflections of His primary traits) I naturally came into contact with patriarchy but ultimately decided that most of those who claimed to hold that view were really just tough talking Dobsonites.
In reading many of those forums and articles though I started running into Christian polygamists. I found some more sites and really became reaffirmed that my original beliefs were right but my heart had been as wrong as it could have been.
Simultaneous to all of this I was very blessed to be an acquaintance of a Paul not the Apostle. We had attended the church that had kicked me out together and they subsequently were extremely unbrotherly to Paul and his family in part because Paul had stood against some of the church leadership's fallacies concerning my situation. He encouraged (and challenged) me on many issues and got me involved here.
I am still examining many of my beliefs but much of what the locust had eaten has been restored. Actually living a plural marriage is not an option for me but I believe strongly that the restoration of the western church and the American family is hingent on the correct view of all marriages and so try to remain connected to the Biblical Families family.