Telling family

[Patricia C]

Today I had a conversation with a close friend and in a round about way told her I believe in Pologny. It was a little scary and to tell you the truth I am not sure I have caught my breath yet. I held my breath the whole time we talked because I was bracing for her to tell me I would never see my granddaughter again. She didn't do that at all! In fact she is going to the retreat with me. Have you had to tell someone you love and feared their reaction? What kind of response did you get? I want to hear your experiences good and bad.

 

[Pacman]

I told a friend just the other day. Only that I don’t believe it’s a sin. Not that I’m open to it personally. He was fine with it but doesn’t believe it himself although he admitted he has never looked into it...

 

[Patricia C]

Rejection is such a hard thing to overcome even when it is right or Biblical. Society just makes it so hard.... Living a sexually immoral life is acceptable but living in a plural family or in many cases just believing in it is shunned.

 

[RainyLondonFog]

I opened up to a friend of mine here and she was so understanding and it was such a blessing to me. She knows it is hard on me, but also sees it as Biblical and it was such a blessing to be vulnerable to her.

 

[PeteR]

Rejection is such a hard thing to overcome even when it is right or Biblical. Society just makes it so hard.... Living a sexually immoral life is acceptable but living in a plural family or in many cases just believing in it is shunned.

So right. We have a bunch of friends who take scripture seriously... Once we came out on polygyny many, more than half, shunned and gossiped about us. Was quite painful, especially for @Judgemenot . The friends that stuck with us are more valuable than ever. They may not see it for themselves, but they agree it is Biblical and not a salvation issue or something to divide over. Love 'em!

 

[rockfox]

I'm times of trial we find out who our real friends are.

 

[steve]

Pretty much bad experiences with telling family.
Ali has a granddaughter within 90 miles that she has never been allowed to see. So you are very blessed.

 

[Jennifer]

Yes, we told both sides of the family. Nathan's family was very accepting. Mine not so much. I prefer both sides to be accepting, but if I had to choose it would be Nathan's family over mine because I feel it would be better for the sister wife to have her husband's family's acceptance and support. In fact my siblings do not talk to me anymore.

 

[Patricia C]

@steve i hate that for both of you it hurts my heart because you are both so loving and wonderful people to have in your corner. They are missing so much by not having you and Ali.
@Jennifer that is a good way of looking at it. But I am sorry your family hasn't been able to accept your and Nathan's decision. You still need your family, do you think they will eventually be accepting?

My mom knows and tolerates it. I haven't said anything to my sister or bio father.... I don't think they would agree with it and probably not speak to me. My kids are ok with it ... I am so thankful but I am also not in a relationship and if I were everyone might feel differently... I don't know?

 

[Patricia C]

So right. We have a bunch of friends who take scripture seriously... Once we came out on polygyny many, more than half, shunned and gossiped about us. Was quite painful, especially for @Judgemenot . The friends that stuck with us are more valuable than ever. They may not see it for themselves, but they agree it is Biblical and not a salvation issue or something to divide over. Love 'em!

It is true you do learn who your true friends are. You guys have us here on BibFam as well.

 

[Rose of Sharon]

I told 2 of my friends already and the first thing that popped out of their mouths was, " are you okay with another womam sleeping with your husband?" That is all they see. On a positive note, they were both accepting of the idea.