The True Difference Between Mono & Poly

[CecilW]

Eternitee & CecilW participated this week in a symposium sponsored by the Orlando chapter of BibFam on ...

The True Practical Difference Between Living Monogamously vs Polygamously

Oh POOH! They were yakkin' as she drove him back from a doctor's appt.

Shut UP, you little scamp! This sounds so much more dignified! Do you honestly think the fancy ones are really anything more than a bunch of folks sitting around drinking coffee and gabbing?"

... and after much deep discussion & ponderous consideration presented their findings to the full body of the chapter in session last night to general acclaim and approval. To wit ...

Resolved: That there isn't really much difference between living monogamously vs polygamously, as most folks fear. It's just ... LIVING.

Resolved: That there is, however, ONE critical difference. It is often uncomfortable, yet highly contributive to personal growth and, in fact, tends to enhance even the original relationship, namely ...

In a Plural Marriage​

You can't get away with crap!!!​

In a standard monogamous marriage, you can get away with poor behavior fairly easily: staying at the office too much, vegging out on the couch when you get home, ignoring your fair share of chores, being sullen and uncommunicative, handling the money poorly, etc. If your spouse complains, you can just go on the attack and claim they're being over sensitive or overbearing or something. Or you can start whimpering and play the "poor me" card. Or some other dysfunctional game. And it can become a recurring pattern for the relationship.

But in a PM, you quickly realize that isn't going to work out well. You've now got TWO or more people prepared to hold you to account and say, "You are behaving badly. Straighten up & fly right so we don't all crash and burn." Much harder to brush off and ignore.

And there you have it, folks. Everyone new to PM tends to ask the question of what it's like and the answer really is this simple. In Poly, you can't get away with crap! Now you know! :lol:

 

[eternitee]

lol...agreed....oh wait - I was part of the symposium!

It really is like a mono marriage - not who sleeps with who so much as what shall we have for dinner, did you remember to take the trash out and should we sign the kids up for soccer.

 

[steve]

ya know,
that is the best summation of poly that i have ever seen!

 

[Bina]

lol...agreed....oh wait - I was part of the symposium!

It really is like a mono marriage - not who sleeps with who so much as what shall we have for dinner, did you remember to take the trash out and should we sign the kids up for soccer.

 

[paterfamilias]

When I talk to women or to mono couples about how it works in real life, they are always going to get the anticlimax. Yes it is great but so is mono marriage. People just think there is some unknown aspect of how you will live your life in a plural marriage, that once they learn about, which will give them an ah ha moment.
Sorry boys and girls but plig life is just pretty normal life.
Certainly the life I want to live but there is certainly not as exotic or strange as people imagine.

With respect to the conclusions of the symposium, no disagreement found.
To dovetail into the bit about having more people depending on you and monitoring you, it is a net positive. We could all use a bit more regimentation in our lives.

I have higher and higher expectations for myself every year and if it takes more wives to motivate me more then bring it on. We thrive on challenges and I can think of no better challenge than being a good husband to more than one woman and a good father to several children.
That is making a real mark on the world.