Valentine's Day for poly couples

[PolyPride]

It may not be Valentine's day yet, but I'm curious about how a poly relationship works out on that day. I know the husband can buy all of his wives a special gift, but what I'm more wondering about is how do the spouses in a poly relationship work it out with each other as far as spending time with the husband. Some wives in poly relationships usually make a schedule that involves one wife having one night with the husband, and the other the next night, but I'm thinking that type of schedule may not be good on Valentine's day. This is why I figured I'd ask the following questions:

Should a husband share Valentine's Day with all of his wives together, except for bedroom time of course?

Or should he have a time set aside for each wife on that day?

How does intimate time work assuming that each wife would want some time alone with her husband on that day?

For those of you who are already in a polygamous marriage, how have you done it or how do you think it would work out best?

Thanks for any input.

 

[sweetlissa]

This is a topic that hubby's other wife (OW) and I have talked about. We wondered how we would deal with one "romantic" night a year. I suggested this and we think this is what we will do in the future, when we are all together...

If hubby is doing his job right (keeping his wives feeling special and loved) then we are going on regular date nights anyway. So who cares about one commercially driven night out. Valentine's night is a night for couples to go out and spend way too much money on too little. It is a bit corny. So I suggest that as a husband you should do your job right and treat your ladies special regularly. On Valentine's night order take out and the family cuddles on the couch and watches a movie. That is how we will treat Valentine's day when we are finally all together. We each have birthdays and anniversaries to be our special days.

Having worked in the Food & Beverage industry, I found that Valentine's Day isn't about love and romance, it is about consumers spending money. I think we can spend that money more efficiently somewhere else and still all feel special and loved.

This solution should take any pressure off hubby and keep any lady from feeling jealous. IMHO.

SweetLissa

 

[DeeAnn]

I personally don't care for V-day at all. I don't want Paul to buy me a card and candy just because he's supposed to on a certain day that all the other men feel obligated to give to their wives. He buys chocolates for me at various times throughout the year for no special occasion. I like that he buys me even just one Godiva chocolate on a random day instead of a whole box when he's pressured to. I'd rather have the handwritten love notes on a piece of printer paper that he leaves for me than a store-bought card with just his name at the bottom on the day that he's "supposed to". Just my opinion. It works out well since he's so not into V-day either.

I'm not sure how it will play out if V-day is special to his other woman. I'm sure that if I gave in to sinful thoughts, I could easily change to "You never did Valentine's stuff for me, but you do it for HER." That sounds so immature, but the enemy tricks us into thinking we want something that we don't sometimes. I would hope that I would stay focused on his special displays of love for me all throughout the year even if she wants a big to-do from him on just that one day. Maybe I'll request a special UN-Valentine's date on a different day if I feel left out.

I guess it all varies on the family, and then what is special to each individual wife.

 

[PolyPride]

Thanks guys for the good insight.. your points are also good to keep in mind even for people in monogamous relationships.

 

[redfox]

I have to say that to a degree, I have been in the non-Valentine camp, mostly because of the commercialism.

However, the new wife is a bit more into that sort of thing, so I do find myself getting jealous occasionally. I find myself getting jealous over a lot of things lately though, so it's a bit par for the course for me. Still working on that...

This year, she has apparently requested Feb 13th off of work and had requested to him that day for her Vday. So by default, I guess I am getting the 14th. I'm not exactly sure what all that's about, since dh told me last night while he was working out our schedule... but didn't go into it. I doubt that we'll do much though, as he'll probably do more with her since that's what she wants.

 

[bobnsandy]

I'm with you (v day is a big waste) I buy my wife something special and a card because she would feel sad if I didn't. If and when I become poly it'll be something to make them both feel special ( they would be anyway after all they have to be)