What is considered respectful or disrespectful is a highly cultural matter that changes over the years. I too get the children to call adults "Mr Smith" etc instead of their first name - however this is just because it's the culture where and when I live. Several centuries ago, "Mr Smith" wouldn't have even had a surname - he would have simply been "Fred son of Bob". So the children would have called him "Fred", or "the smith" if he actually was a smith. Respect would be shown in a different way.
So
@Bartato, I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill. You'd be uncomfortable calling your mother "woman" simply because in the culture you grew up in that was considered disrespectful. Not because it is inherently disrespectful (as can be seen by the fact Jesus said it). It's a temporary cultural thing. Same with applying the word "mother" to someone other than your birth mother. And with calling a wife "woman" - it's considered disrespectful, even though that's the literal meaning of the word "wife".
Just like how certain words are considered vulgar, and others with the exact same meaning are considered polite - sh*t and poo. There is no inherent, timeless moral reason for one to be vulgar and the other not. It's just tradition - and it changes.
Or how if you refer to a person as being "Black", that is presently in Western countries considered an accurate description of their race, but if you say the word in Spanish as "Negro", that's now considered disrespectful (although it was considered polite a very few decades ago), and if you use the traditional mispronunciation of that term and aren't a black rapper you'll lose your job and be demonised for life (although it was considered entirely acceptable a century ago). This illustrates there is no timeless principle behind what is "respectful" or "disrespectful", it is entirely cultural.
So what matters is whether we
show respect, with the emphasis on the word
show. In other words, does it appear to the listener, from their cultural background, that our words are respectful? If so, we are showing respect. If not, we need to adjust to fit the culture we are in at that time so that the respect we intend is actually shown and heard by the listener.
So if your wife doesn't want her kids calling the other wife "mum", don't get them to call her that. Simple.
