What are the benefits of polygamy?

[PolyPride]

I've heard the negatives about polygamy, and I do believe that a lot of those negatives can occur in any relationship type, monogamous or polygamous. For example, there can be jealousy in monogamous relationships as well. Women in monogamous marriages used to be arranged to marry someone, but of course now that is fixed just as polygamy can be, although some wives already choose to be in polygamy. I also believe those problems are fixable for the most part. I was just interested in hearing about the positives/benefits because based on what I've heard so far, I'm thinking they could outweigh the negatives. Those reasons helped convinced me more than ever that if I were to start a polygamous relationship, then I can do so with some positive expectations in mind. I've also found that talking about this with some women helped them look at polygamy in another way, even in a humorous way, although I have no idea if they'd ever engage in it themselves. So maybe in the same way, husbands talking about this to their wives who are on the fence about polygamy may help encourage them, or help them look at polygamy in another light, if they feel okay with it, that is.

So what are the benefits or positives of being in a polygamous relationship, especially to women?

 

[Love]

Re: What benefits does polygamy bring?

Hi Angel,
Welcome to the board! You have asked a very good question. It may already have been answered on this forum somewhere, but I'm not sure. I think that two of the most obvious benefits for women are companionship and sharing responsibilities.
Back when our grandmothers were wives and mothers, most women stayed home to care for the house and children so there was fellowship and commiserating available right over the back fence! In our modern times, most women work outside of the home, so being a mother at home with the little ones can be a very lonely, isolating place to be during the day when the husband is at work (and a lot of husbands work a LOT more hours than our grandfathers did!). AND...looking at the same picture from the other side, if the mom in a family is working, having assistance at home so she is not overwhelmed (arriving home to work a second job with laundry and dinner) is a huge blessing.
In addition to this, most men have a higher libido than most women...and there are times when, though the desire may be there, it is not possible for a wife to meet her husband's physical needs..such as after childbirth or during a prolonged illness. So polygamy also benefits women in having a sister wife to share in meeting this need as well. Please keep in mind that the issue here is marriage. Marriage (of any kind) is not a cheap route to easy sex for husbands, it is a serious responsibility before God to love and cherish their wives for their spiritual development and encouragement. Of course, in our sex saturated and pleasure-driven society, sex is the first thing that comes to mind when people thing of polygamy..well, either that or crime. I think that this is the kind of thinking that Biblical Families is striving to counteract and when a couple is accepted for the Introduction service, it is my understanding that they are not only people who the staff have met in person, but also proven Christian men who know their responsibilities.
I would really encourage you to attend a Biblical Families retreat. I am actually a single woman and some of the above reasons are what originally attracted me to plural marriage. It would be a really good thing for you to talk to first and second wives who have discovered other reasons!
God bless you...we are happy you have found this forum.
-Love

 

[Doc]

Re: What benefits does polygamy bring?

Hi Angel....Just wanted to welcome you to the BF board. Hope you find what you are looking for!

Blessings,

Doc Burkhart

 

[PolyPride]

Re: What benefits does polygamy bring?

Dueling and Love, thanks for the welcomes. Thanks for your great response as well, Love.

 

[CecilW]

Re: What benefits does polygamy bring?

Here's a list from a defunct website. The statsitcs are 10+ years old, but the principles still seem valid.

Polygamy is great for women because:

** For every 100 women of young marriageable age, there are only 70 men.

** By age 45, for every 100 available men, there are over 200 single women.

** Unattached women compete with other women, to their detriment, for a chance at the marriage lottery.

** Divorce is the only other available solution of providing husbands and fathers for the surplus of women.

** The newly divorced woman is susceptible to the predatory single man. Polygamy offers a marriage alternative.

** An alternative to single loneliness, fatherless children, and increasing violence and juvenile crime.

** There are too many homes where the father is absent, 10 million! of them.

** There are too many children growing up without a father, 50% of them.

** As a society, we reap the results of fatherlessness, as is evident in the increased crime rate.

** The familiar line, "all the good men are taken," won't be valid anymore because the good men can be shared!

Some more ways of saying much the samethings ...

** Single women will find polygamy provides new choices and a solution to the single life.

** Plural marriage means a woman does not have to settle for any man rather than none at all.

** The man who is kind, considerate and caring, gentle and loving is the man who attracts women to his household.

** Rotten men won't get the wives because women don't have to settle for what is available.

** We need to be concerned about the young woman with biological needs as yet unfulfilled.

** We need to be concerned about the woman who is trying to raise her children by herself.

** We need to be concerned about the woman who has already raised her own family and who now faces life alone.

** Plural marriage means that if a woman could share a husband, her chances are better of getting a good one.

** Plural marriage tends to turn a good but easygoing man into the leader that a woman wants and needs.

** Plural marriage tends to reduce the male tendency to tomcat around, resulting in less likelihood of his bringing home an Sexually Transmitted Disease.

 

[CecilW]

Re: What benefits does polygamy bring?

In addition, women tend to be concerned about their children's well being. *grin* Here is a similar list as to how PM is good for kids from the same defunct site.

1) Polygamy lessens the likelihood of sexual child abuse.

2) Polygamy increases the likelihood that Dad will be around throughout the child's childhood.

3) Polygamy increases the availability of adults for one on one time.

4) Polygamy increases opportunities for personal growth for the child.

5) Polygamy improves the child's understanding of God.

6) Polygamy improves a child's respect for law and order.

7) Polygamy improves a child's socialization skills.

8) Polygamy may tend to improve a child's intelligence.

9) Polygamy guards against Attachment Disorder.

Admittedly, some of these assertions are speculative rather than fully supported by research, but they seem worth considering nonetheless. May well be valid.

 

[Mark C]

Re: What benefits does polygamy bring?

And while Cecil's list is pretty comprehensive, I would add that there are practical benefits that could be described by economists as part of the concept of "division of labor". Properly managed, such a house can be far more productive than a situation with only two adults, and the economic benefits may well be great -- whether it's education, the family business(es), or just handling modern hassles and household tasks.

Indeed, the Bible demonstrates that many of the patriarchs became quite wealthy and prosperous. History even indicates that no small part of the "jealousy" that has been directed at wealthy polygynous clans (whether Mormon, as in US history, or elsewhere) may even stem more from economic envy than prurient interest.

 

[James]

Re: What benefits does polygamy bring?

Cecil, I want to agree with some of the positives you put up. I have been doing a lot of searching and reading and I have also found out that the national average for divorce is now over 50%. But during my search I have learned that poly marriages have a much smaller divorce rate. To me this has to do with how poly families think. To me there is more respect in a poly marriage due to the fact you now have two wives to consider and now there are three of you to talk things out. I feel poly families are much closer because of the things they have to endure from the negative people out there.

Most men I feel in a poly marriage don't have the urge to committ adultry on his wives because of the fact poly brings you so much closer to your spouces. The wives in my opinion are not going to venture out because they have come to love there husband and share that love with a very special (sw). I currently have only Lacey but we are praying for a future wife and this is only my opinion on the benefits of a poly family. I think people who have poly marriages become closer to God due to the fact we will spend a lot of time praying for the people who don't understand why we have a plural marriage, and all the trials and tribulations we must face brings us closer to each other and God. I hope what I have said sheds some positive light on the discussion.

 

[Mark C]

Re: What benefits does polygamy bring?

Just remember, James, that when it comes to statistics, Mark Twain was right*.

Many of us who believe in marriage as ordained by YHVH also know that marriage ordained by Caesar constitutes service to "another master", and also that Deut. 21 "slavery" thing.

As such, I wouldn't put too much stock in some of those numbers -- either way.

But I do know that obedience to Him brings a blessing, even when we sometimes aren't able to recognize all of it.

Blessings,
Mark












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* There's "lies, dam_ lies, and Statistics!"