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Where did you meet

NBTX11

NBTX11

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Male
Just curious, with those men that have more than one wife, where did you meet your second, third wife, etc. Second wives (or third, 4th etc.), where did you meet your husband? Just curious as to how y'all met and how your relationship developed. No need to go into a long story, unless you want to. Just curious as to what worked for you and what clicked after you met and how that process played out. Were you actively looking for someone. Did it happen naturally and spontaneously. Did you use dating sites. What worked for you.
 
My story is in Steve’s Familial Adventures

Hint: it didn’t involve dating sites.
 
Sounds like it happened organically, Steve, from what I read in your story, and rather unexpectedly also if I gathered the facts correctly.
 
Yes, and it took a lot longer than expected.
 
I was not looking for my second. I met her through an online interraction. It was a mutual interest and I didn't realize she was female at first. You might say the relationship grew naturally and spontaneously, but I definitely pursued to cover her once I learned more about her. She was in a vulnerable condition, readily received my attention, and quickly latched to me. It was effortless for both of us. I am not a trusting person, but she gave me so much of her trust, really put herself in my hands, and that was the perfect thing to disarm me. It shocked me, actually, and made me so glad that it was I and not someone else who she was trusting. I felt that God had brought His daughter to me and was leading me to take her. I felt strong conviction to go against my natural skepticism, which I obeyed, and received faith the entire way. I love telling the story, but I'll keep it brief and to your point.
 
NVIII said:
I was not looking for my second. I met her through an online interraction. It was a mutual interest and I didn't realize she was female at first. You might say the relationship grew naturally and spontaneously, but I definitely pursued to cover her once I learned more about her. She was in a vulnerable condition, readily received my attention, and quickly latched to me. It was effortless for both of us. I am not a trusting person, but she gave me so much of her trust, really put herself in my hands, and that was the perfect thing to disarm me. It shocked me, actually, and made me so glad that it was I and not someone else who she was trusting. I felt that God had brought His daughter to me and was leading me to take her. I felt strong conviction to go against my natural skepticism, which I obeyed, and received faith the entire way. I love telling the story, but I'll keep it brief and to your point.
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That's a great story. I'd actually like to hear more of it. Did she know anything about Biblical polygyny, or did you teach it to her. Was she open to the concept immediately or did it take time to accept the concept.
 
NBTX11 said:
That's a great story. I'd actually like to hear more of it. Did she know anything about Biblical polygyny, or did you teach it to her. Was she open to the concept immediately or did it take time to accept the concept.
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She knew nothing of it, and the particulars didn't concern her. She wanted one thing, and that was to be mine. You'll have to understand she was a Filipina, and not the city variety. The usual complications we deal with in Western-molded brains don't exist within her. She only asked if it was an alright thing to do in general, and in particular pleaded that in any case I not hurt my first wife. She said she would rather I kept her as a friend than do that.

I haven't really taught her about the arguments for polygyny. Over time, there have been many things I have taught her, things I deem more important than why polygyny is biblical. The hardest part about teaching her things has been her lack of skepticism. For most things, if I say it is so, then to her it is so. If I continue to explain, she gets that look and a smile like it's so cute that I'm still talking because she believed me 5 minutes ago but she's not going to interrupt me because she likes hearing my voice. So, with her I don't do a lot of deep intellectual teaching.
 
NVIII said:
She knew nothing of it, and the particulars didn't concern her. She wanted one thing, and that was to be mine. You'll have to understand she was a Filipina, and not the city variety. The usual complications we deal with in Western-molded brains don't exist within her. She only asked if it was an alright thing to do in general, and in particular pleaded that in any case I not hurt my first wife. She said she would rather I kept her as a friend than do that.

I haven't really taught her about the arguments for polygyny. Over time, there have been many things I have taught her, things I deem more important than why polygyny is biblical. The hardest part about teaching her things has been her lack of skepticism. For most things, if I say it is so, then to her it is so. If I continue to explain, she gets that look and a smile like it's so cute that I'm still talking because she believed me 5 minutes ago but she's not going to interrupt me because she likes hearing my voice. So, with her I don't do a lot of deep intellectual teaching.
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That's a really great story, brother. Sounds like she wasn't concerned about it. As you say, maybe the lack of exposure to the US culture had something to do with it. It's also great that she listens and takes your word on things. Fantastic! A woman willing to be led.
 
My sisterwife shared her story last year here.

I met my husband back in 1996 when he moved in next door. Both relationships happened very naturally. My sisterwife was hired to do the secretary work for my husband's business, something that was getting to be a bit too much for me. That worked well for her as she could stay home with her son, and still pay bills. We were all friendly, and I visited with her on the phone sharing our beliefs and expressing a positive view of the "job share" arrangement for the wives. She came down every saturday and visited, staying for volleyball games and often dinner. After about a year of working together he heard she was single, knew she was not interested in the younger single men around, and he asked her out. Once they started talking serious things changed quick and it honestly just felt like they belonged here.

So many hard to imagine aspects, were non issues. Trust was hard to imagine, but very easy to do in this relationship.
She seems very happy, and I am very blessed to have her and her sweet son in our family.
 
NVIII said:
She knew nothing of it, and the particulars didn't concern her. She wanted one thing, and that was to be mine. You'll have to understand she was a Filipina, and not the city variety. The usual complications we deal with in Western-molded brains don't exist within her. She only asked if it was an alright thing to do in general, and in particular pleaded that in any case I not hurt my first wife. She said she would rather I kept her as a friend than do that.

I haven't really taught her about the arguments for polygyny. Over time, there have been many things I have taught her, things I deem more important than why polygyny is biblical. The hardest part about teaching her things has been her lack of skepticism. For most things, if I say it is so, then to her it is so. If I continue to explain, she gets that look and a smile like it's so cute that I'm still talking because she believed me 5 minutes ago but she's not going to interrupt me because she likes hearing my voice. So, with her I don't do a lot of deep intellectual teaching.
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Glad you covered it here bro, because I've been meaning to ask you how you met her. Really cool to see how different cultures are, so hard for me to imagine... A very beautiful way of thinking. God has blessed you in abundance. 👍

I grew up in the Bay Area of California, near San Francisco. The most dense population of Filipinos outside of the Philippines. By far the nicest people I've ever met, and Tagalog is a cool language as well.
 
NVIII said:
She knew nothing of it, and the particulars didn't concern her. She wanted one thing, and that was to be mine. You'll have to understand she was a Filipina, and not the city variety. The usual complications we deal with in Western-molded brains don't exist within her. She only asked if it was an alright thing to do in general, and in particular pleaded that in any case I not hurt my first wife. She said she would rather I kept her as a friend than do that.

I haven't really taught her about the arguments for polygyny. Over time, there have been many things I have taught her, things I deem more important than why polygyny is biblical. The hardest part about teaching her things has been her lack of skepticism. For most things, if I say it is so, then to her it is so. If I continue to explain, she gets that look and a smile like it's so cute that I'm still talking because she believed me 5 minutes ago but she's not going to interrupt me because she likes hearing my voice. So, with her I don't do a lot of deep intellectual teaching.
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Sound like you found perfect student 🤔
 
I knew one guy who represented himself as single on a dating site or sites.
He found a woman and built a relationship with her, took his kids with on dates and all.
It worked in the short term, don’t know how it is today.
I don’t feel that starting a relationship with lies is a good plan.

In case anyone might possibly know this situation, or a similar one, let’s keep it as generic as possible.
 
steve said:
I knew one guy who represented himself as single on a dating site or sites.
He found a woman and built a relationship with her, took his kids with on dates and all.
It worked in the short term, don’t know how it is today.
I don’t feel that starting a relationship with lies is a good plan.

In case anyone might possibly know this situation, or a similar one, let’s keep it as generic as possible.
Click to expand...

It's a terrible plan. Be up front about who you are and what you're looking for. Not try to scam and lie about things. If honesty doesn't work, then so be it.
 
I met my family and husband through Yahoo Groups. It wasn't exactly a dating site but it did get me introduced to people who were interested in the life.
 
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