General Why do you want polygamy?

[Jackofall82]

I'm sorry if a question like this has already been put up but there's so much to read! For me it seems like an easy question for men to answer but I think jokes aside theres more to it than that. A good friend of mine has at least 10 cars on his property because he likes all kinds of cars and he is always working on them in his spare time. but isn't that what we are all like? in the end if there's something you like, you buy more of it then you maybe need but it makes you happy so who cares? My mother always likes to say "it's all going to burn" and she's right. All my friend's cars are going to burn one day. Well I like women and the great thing about women is if they believe in Jesus there are not going to burn!!!
I have thought alot about this and there are alot of good reasons to have 2 or more wives. One is that Americans aren't having as many babies as they used to because millineals have too many doubts about raising families and they have abortions. And watching the news we see that that isn't good for the economy and watching the news they say the answer is to bring in immigrants to fill the populations gap. That doesn't make sense because we know that most immigrants don't even care about the American dream and only want to live off our system while not contributing. How backwards is it that we won't have our own babies but we'll bring up adults from honderus who don't even speak english?????? But if some 20 something young man with the sides of his head all shaved no offense but I don't like the look doesn't want to have kids, I still do! We don't need every millinieal to suddenly change their mind about family if enough of us older folks with stable income and good morals will marry 2 or more women and have lots of kids. And it is so doable. A woman with only a part time job can join a already stable family and have kids and it wouldn't even be a burden.
hahahaha ok I guess my feelings on that are already clear but that is what I want to do marry some more women and have a few babies with each, and raise up lots of boys and girls with good morals and good work ethic. That's a win win I get wifes and lots of kids, my wives all have me looking out for them and proceeding a home with stable income and my kids get to come from a big family that loves eachothers and they all add strength to our country.
That is the way I see it what is your reasons? Oh and I want to ask women what they think about it too? My wife has polygamists in her family tree going back so she's more open to it than maybe your average lady even though I can't say as she's as hopeful about it as I am.

 

[Well loved wife]

I don’t necessarily want or not want plural marriage,so much as I just want to be united with my husband and following God’s leading wherever that is. Besides if he wants another woman to take care of, guess that’s his doom, lol. I wouldn’t mind a close friendship and having more babies in the house either.
So how many wives and children are you interested in?

 

[Jackofall82]

That is simply amazing Well loved wife!!! I think that's basically how my wife looks at it too! it would be the greatest if my wives all got along and were friends because cooperation is so important with a family. Trying to be realistic I'd say that 6 or 7 wives might be too much because if I was like solomon I don't think I'd have enough time to really get to know my wifes as much as they deserve. I want to be able to keep up with relationship and anniverseries an go on dates with them one on one. Daydreaming about it I would say I'd want one of each ethnic background but that is more vanity than anything else but trying to be real I would say that having four wives like Jacob sounds right. I think I can manage four ladies and if we average 3 kids each thats 12 kids and I think that sounds ideal. That way there's enough of me to go around and enough mommies so that all the kids have someone that can focus on them and not get lost in the crowd. From there whether or not I add more is going to have to depend on the ladies if they are all friends and are ok with more then I would try to add more but if they aren't all getting along or have a problem adding more than I would probably just stop because it would be greedy and selfish I think to keep going. At the moment though I would have to find wife number two hahahaha

 

[FollowingHim2]

That is simply amazing Well loved wife!!! I think that's basically how my wife looks at it too! it would be the greatest if my wives all got along and were friends because cooperation is so important with a family. Trying to be realistic I'd say that 6 or 7 wives might be too much because if I was like solomon I don't think I'd have enough time to really get to know my wifes as much as they deserve. I want to be able to keep up with relationship and anniverseries an go on dates with them one on one. Daydreaming about it I would say I'd want one of each ethnic background but that is more vanity than anything else but trying to be real I would say that having four wives like Jacob sounds right. I think I can manage four ladies and if we average 3 kids each thats 12 kids and I think that sounds ideal. That way there's enough of me to go around and enough mommies so that all the kids have someone that can focus on them and not get lost in the crowd. From there whether or not I add more is going to have to depend on the ladies if they are all friends and are ok with more then I would try to add more but if they aren't all getting along or have a problem adding more than I would probably just stop because it would be greedy and selfish I think to keep going. At the moment though I would have to find wife number two hahahaha

You start with one wife. Once you're leading her well, God might bless you with a second. Once you're leading the both of them well, God might bless you with a third. And so on it goes. At the moment you have one to focus on, and maybe you'll get a second at some point. I wouldn't think beyond that at this stage. It's much easier to just follow what God wants for your life, in wives as well as children. It's not about having a certain number, or as many as possible, it's about having the number that God wills, and that will be His perfect number that fits well with your family.

 

[FollowingHim2]

As for why I want polygyny - because that is God's will for my husband and I. There's a whole heap of reasons why it's an advantage, and also why it's a disadvantage. I do believe that the pros outweigh the cons. But I don't like to look at things like that. I don't want to think about having another child as a matter of weighing up pros and cons, I want to trust our God and know that He has something amazing in store. The same with wives. Make sense?

 

[FollowingHim]

What she said:

As for why I want polygyny - because that is God's will for my husband and I. There's a whole heap of reasons why it's an advantage, and also why it's a disadvantage. I do believe that the pros outweigh the cons. But I don't like to look at things like that. I don't want to think about having another child as a matter of weighing up pros and cons, I want to trust our God and know that He has something amazing in store. The same with wives. Make sense?

@Jackofall82, if you ideally want 12 kids, you know that you can achieve that goal with only one wife? I'm just noticing that if your true motivation is to solve the population crisis, you don't necessarily need polygamy to do that. You can start work on it today! But polygamy would help obviously.

It's good to see someone with ambition, but I'm concerned that your bubbly enthusiasm is running a long way ahead of what is practical and realistic, or best for your wives. Men are often very enthusiastic about this when we first realise it's an option. Just to help me understand where you're coming from, how long have you understood that polygamy is an option for your life?

 

[Jackofall82]

That makes alot of sense FollowingHim2 I think it is good to let God work and bring me what is best for my family. And it is refreshing to see so many women who are really open polygamy although you bring up questions in my mind about how do you know if it is God's will for your life? I have seen God answer prayers in my own life is it just that I pray for it and if it happens it happens I guess that could make sense I suppose itsall the same for God. I feel like I don't want to miss out on what God might do if I don't do something on my own but that is not a great way to look at it. Should I stop going to dating sights?

 

[Jackofall82]

hahahaha FollowinHim that is true I guess my own wife could still have alot of kids although I have a worry that if we have alot of kids that some won't get as much attention as others just taking them to sports like little league I might have to pick and choose what games and practices we can take them to and what we couldn't. I do know parents that have lots of kids in sports so maybe I'm being a wuss but it seems so busy! You're right I do sometimes make plans that end up not being realistic. I can say that ever since I was a teen I've always felt I wanted a group of wives but I felt there was no way to really do that since nobody really does that so at that point I didn't consider it an option. I think some years ago we were watching that big love show together and my wife mentioned that she actually was related to polygamists from some old school mormons and we started talking about it but it wasn't until a bout 9 months ago or so that it got more serious and I came right out and asked her how she felt about me taking more wives. It was a long talk that took weeks to have all the way but the gist was she was ok with it as long as I didn't go crazy and have a bunch of girlfriends she was concerned I'd bring home a stripper or something but I told her that wasn't what I wanted at all. She also kept telling me that she didn't want me to neglect her or forget about her if I found a wife that was prettier than her and I kept telling her that I loved her so much and would never do that but it seemed like no matter how much I said it she still needed me to say it again. Wanna say I don't want to tell her business but she cried alot which isn't usually like her. We talked about so much not just about polygamy but other things in our life and when we were mostly done it was the first time that I felt like this was actually something I might do.

 

[Joleneakamama]

@Jackofall82, if you ideally want 12 kids, you know that you can achieve that goal with only one wife? I'm just noticing that if your true motivation is to solve the population crisis, you don't necessarily need polygamy to do that. You can start work on it today! But polygamy would help obviously

That is very true on both counts. I'm a mom ....not to three,...but to nine. Trying to be the wife and only mom to many in a big family is a big job.

I am interested in polygyny because more adults mentoring and raising children can only be good for everyone. Then too, once they have their own families I might not have too quiet of a house if there is a sisterwife or two.

I might just end up an only wife though, and that's ok too.

Never hurts to talk about a topic like this. Thanks @Jackofall82

 

[steve]

Trying to be realistic I'd say that 6 or 7 wives might be too much

Ahhh, yeah. Go with that thought

Seriously, I believe that you will find that having two wives is at least four times as complicated as having one. As @FollowingHim2 said, build the family and the relationship that Yah has already blessed you with and see where His blessings lead.
There are a lot of guys (and some women) that want a second wife in the worst way, and that is generally how they accomplish it, in the worst way.

 

[rustywest4]

I like how ambitious my new homeboy Jack is!
I think we are cut from the same cloth @Jackofall82 ... for I too am aspiring to breed excessively! Lol
Joking aside though man... It is a good thing to desire many children that you can raise up as godly offspring! It is also perfectly natural and healthy for a man to desire more wives. The Word says “he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from The Lord”!

 

[notforme]

There are a lot of guys (and some women) that want a second wife in the worst way, and that is generally how they accomplish it, in the worst way.

Amen to that!

I guess my own wife could still have alot of kids although I have a worry that if we have alot of kids that some won't get as much attention as others just taking them to sports like little league I might have to pick and choose what games and practices we can take them to and what we couldn't. I do know parents that have lots of kids in sports so maybe I'm being a wuss but it seems so busy

I personally know a family that has 12 kids (one wife). I have never seen any of them feeling left out. They home school and the children participate in outside activities feeding their various interests. The older children learn how to care for their younger siblings and help around the house. The girls know how to cook/sew/clean etc. and the boys know how to do chores outside. They all know how to raise their own food from a garden and livestock. Does it take organization on the parents part? Absolutely. But they are a very happy family and nobody gets pushed aside.

 

[PeteR]

I personally know a family that has 12 kids (one wife). I have never seen any of them feeling left out. They home school and the children participate in outside activities feeding their various interests. The older children learn how to care for their younger siblings and help around the house. The girls know how to cook/sew/clean etc. and the boys know how to do chores outside. They all know how to raise their own food from a garden and livestock. Does it take organization on the parents part? Absolutely. But they are a very happy family and nobody gets pushed aside.

However... more hands definitely lightens the load on everyone and, if led properly by the patriarch, can lead to greater wealth/assets for the family....

 

[Tirtza]

I have been married to my husband for 35 years. We have talked about it off and on for years. But just in the last 5 was I started being ok with it. My husband always told me that he never wants to replace me but add. So first I had to be ok and willing to let Hahsem bring him another wife. I also had to approve of her coming in. He had to see I was completely comfortable with her. So Hashem almost 2 years ago sent him a second wife. We all went on dates together and we all talked together and we all decided together. Me and my sister wife love each other. It feels natural to help each other and share our husband. At first even after they got married. It was hard for me. I have never slept without my husband so this was a real learning experience for me to share. But he made it real easy. If I got a kiss or hug he gave her the same. He hugs us separately or sometimes if we ar both standing together we both get a hug and kiss. If u show equal affection and time then it will work. Also prayer time is important and like our husband tells us. If u 2 can't get along it make his job harder. So me and my sister/wife have to be able to talk and be best friends. So it is not up to u but Hahsem cause people choose wrong and dont let Hashem guide them to where or who is to be in their lives. I pray this helps

 

[PeteR]

I also had to approve of her coming in.

Technically, he should desire and listen to your input, but as head he should be able to override your disapproval. That may not be wise, but it is within his authority...

 

[Tirtza]

Yes it is in his authority but we all have to be in an agreement cause you dont want have strive in ur home. Sister/wife's need to be able to get along just as much as the man and wife and sister/ wife. Otherwise it can cause issues in the family

 

[SerenaJoy82]

Polygyny provides a covering for women and children, who may have been abandoned by their previous husband. It can also provide a widow and her children, who have lost their covering to death of the husband/father. It gives a chance for barren women to become a mother, by helping raise the children of their sister wives. Instead of pursuing modern adoption practices, that tear down natural families to build another, fueled by coveting. ( I am not against taking in truly orphans and fatherless children).It can allow a man to have a large family, without subjecting one wife to the physical and mental demands of continuous pregnancy and childbirth. Thus fulfilling the biblical command to be fruitful and multiply. Before anyone flames me, I am not against a single wife have a Quiverfull of children, but medically continuous pregnancies without a break can physically some harm women. Ideally, two years should be between each pregnancy, and breastfeeding normally acts as a way to achieve this naturally. The monogamous mainstream church praises the Duggars for their large family, yet fail to see that the older children are often left raising the younger ones. Older children should help out with the younger ones, but they should not be their primary caregiver raising them.

 

[rockfox]

Polygyny provides a covering for women and children, who may have been abandoned by their previous husband. It can also provide a widow and her children, who have lost their covering to death of the husband/father. It gives a chance for barren women to become a mother, by helping raise the children of their sister wives. Instead of pursuing modern adoption practices, that tear down natural families to build another, fueled by coveting. ( I am not against taking in truly orphans and fatherless children).It can allow a man to have a large family, without subjecting one wife to the physical and mental demands of continuous pregnancy and childbirth. Thus fulfilling the biblical command to be fruitful and multiply. Before anyone flames me, I am not against a single wife have a Quiverfull of children, but medically continuous pregnancies without a break can physically some harm women. Ideally, two years should be between each pregnancy, and breastfeeding normally acts as a way to achieve this naturally. The monogamous mainstream church praises the Duggars for their large family, yet fail to see that the older children are often left raising the younger ones. Older children should help out with the younger ones, but they should not be their primary caregiver raising them.

I like this, except the second half. A lot depends on the genetic constitution of the woman and how well she takes care of herself. But it is well within the realm of possibility to birth a child every 12 to 18 mo while being healthier and fitter than the average mom of 1 or 2. Unless you have genetic limitations, the biggest factor is how healthy you eat and how active you are.

You are right that breastfeeding helps space them out. But it won't necessarily spread them out 2 years. I suspect that has more to do with mom keeping the baby in bed / in the bedroom and the husband off of her.

 

[SerenaJoy82]

I like this, except the second half. A lot depends on the genetic constitution of the woman and how well she takes care of herself. But it is well within the realm of possibility to birth a child every 12 to 18 mo while being healthier and fitter than the average mom of 1 or 2. Unless you have genetic limitations, the biggest factor is how healthy you eat and how active you are.

You are right that breastfeeding helps space them out. But it won't necessarily spread them out 2 years. I suspect that has more to do with mom keeping the baby in bed / in the bedroom and the husband off of her.

I am only going by general medical knowledge on the subject and I said " some" women not all. Breastfeeding can help space out children, it is not always 100% and I doubt that it is most mom deliberately keeping her husband off of her. I would say caring for a preschooler, toddler and infant on her own in addition to keeping up her household duties. Sleep deprivation and exhaustion are real to wives and mothers, especially in today's society where we are expected to be a keeper at home and work a full-time job on top it, lest we are viewed as leeches by our husbands and society. A man vacuuming and doing the dinner dishes can be a very powerful aphrodisiac for a tired and overwhelmed wife and mother.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/getting-pregnant/in-depth/family-planning/art-20044072

 

[rockfox]

I am only going by general medical knowledge on the subject and I said " some" women not all.

Sure. But my point is "Ideally, two years should be between each pregnancy" I disagree that 2 years is the ideal. Ideally, she's healthy enough that she can sustain a much higher rate if her husband so desires. Some can't. But most can, even though they think they can't, IF they put the work in to become healthy.

The rest of my off topic comments I expended into a post here.