-
Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.
WI, IL, IN area women's get together
- Thread starter CassAM84
- Start date
Hey there CassAM84,
Welcome to BiblicalFamilies.org. We are so glad to have you. There are a lot of really great folks here who are very willing to share their lives and experiences in plural marriage. There is also a wealth of information on the forums. I would encourage you to take the time to read the new and the old posts throughout the various forums. I am sure a lot of your questions and concerns will be answered, and you will find a lot of encouragement along the way.
On another note, I see that you are from the Midwest. I am actually from Lockport, IL, which is about 30 minutes south of Chicago and next to Joliet (where they filmed the movie the Blues Brothers). I now live in Northern Alabama in the Tennessee Valley Area. Where are you actually from, Wisconsin, Illinois, or Indiana? I am just curious.
FYI, there is a ladies chat every Tuesday night at 6:30 p.m. (CST). I am sure you would enjoy the chat and all the ladies there. I encourage you to come on in and meet those who are pretty consistently there on Tuesday nights. I hear they have quite a lot to talk about and have a lot of fun too. I have been on from time to time, but generally, my schedule does not allow me time Tuesday nights to be able to be there. I do send my hellos from time to time and my sisterwife is always there like clockwork.
It is great to have you here on BiblicalFamilies.org. Can you tell us some more about you? Hopefully without overwhelming you with questions, here are several that newcomers are often asked (just not all in one list! LOL). Of course, please share only as little as you want or feel comfortable to do. Over time, those who hand out here at BiblicalFamilies.org get to know one another and feel much more at ease and comfortable with sharing about their lives. A really great way to get to know us is to attend the retreats we have throughout the year. Again, please don’t be intimidated or overwhelmed with my list. They just sort of spilled out of my brain as I thought more about them.
1. How did you come into the understanding of Biblical Plural marriage?
2. Are you married?
3. Do you have a sisterwife?
4. If so, how long has she been part of your lives?
5. How did all that come into being?
6. If not, are you and your husband (if you are married) currently looking for a sisterwife?
7. On the other hand, if you are not married, are you currently just trying to understand this whole truth more deeply and doing research on the subject?
8. How long have you known about Biblical Plural Marriage?
9. How are you handling this important, yet in a lot of ways, difficult Biblical truth?
10. What has the Lord really put deep in your heart about it?
11. Are there any questions you still have that you can't quite really get a hold of or that still concern you?
12. Are you considering and/or looking to join a family?
13. If so, why do you want to be part of plural family?
14. What kind of family would be your heart’s desire to be part of?
15. Very importantly, if you are not married, what kind of man of God and husband are you looking for? (In my opinion, that is one of the important questions.)
16. Also, what do you hope to have in a relationship with a sisterwife(s)?
17. If you've been married before, do you have children still presently living with you?
18. Do you want to have more children?
19. Finally, and the absolutely most important question of all, have you prayed and asked the Lord what HIS will is for you in all things related to your new understanding of Biblical Plural Marriage?
20. What is it that HE wants of you?
Question #19 and #20 are very important and their answers are the key to your entire life’s and future’s success. Of course, that is true not only in Biblical Plural Marriage, but also in monogamy and every other aspect of one’s life. We all need to be honest with the Lord and really dig down deep into the very core of our lives and face head on who we want to become in God. More importantly, we need to find out who the Lord wants us to be. We all need to seriously be willing to ask Him, "Lord, what is your will in all of these things? Please show me what Your will clearly is. At all costs, please do not let my will get in the way and cloud my judgment so I can’t see what Your perfect will and path is for me. Thank you Heavenly Father. In Jesus Name I pray." If we will be truly honest with ourselves and with the Lord to the best of our ability and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and not run off ahead of the Lord's timing out of impatience, anxiety, restlessness, or even excitement of a prospective situation that may presents itself; and we are willing to wait upon the Lord, I truly believe He will show us His perfect will in every aspect of our lives. Please understand that the enemy is very tricky. He has 6,000 years of experience in railroading the Lord’s will in people’s lives, and he is very good at it. Not every situation that presents itself is the Lord’s will. The enemy is really great at disguising himself and presenting what “appears” to be the Lord’s will in our lives. It may look like a sheep, baaaa like a sheep, even walk like a sheep, but actually be a wolf in sheep’s clothing; whether that be a person who comes into our lives for one reason or another or a situation that looks appealing and appears to be a blessing, but is actually a cursing.
I am going to step out in faith here and tell you that I believe you personally understand from experience what I’m talking about. The Lord does not want that to happen to you again. He would say, “Listen to ME this time. If you run off half cocked again, you may end up shooting off more than just your foot this time.” I hope you take that for whatever it is worth and act accordingly (and please don’t shoot the messenger! LOL ).
I know that the Lord will hear your prayers and that He wants the best for you. He wants you to be safe, secure, happy, and all healed up so that He can get on with doing what he originally intended for your life. He wants to create in you a strong soldier who can fight the enemy without wavering and win the war. It is time for us to stop fighting Him and collectively fight the enemy.
In order to have the Lord’s blessing, there is a cost to pay. It does require paying the price of our own will and laying down our lives and self. That is never an easy thing to do, but it is well worth the rewards that lay along the path we walk to acquire it. It is an ongoing, living experience, just like the Word of God is alive and breathes new truth to us each time we read it. It is amazing to me how we can read a particular chapter in the Bible and understand something about it that we didn’t see before, and then later on, read the same chapter and something else entirely is brought into light that was not seen before. That is a good analogy of how living in Biblical Plural Marriage really is understood and lived. As one walks down its path, it is new every day. Some days the Lord reveals just the little things that need to be laid at the altar. Other days, the Lord digs deep and reveals a really big area of our life that needs to be dealt with and brought to the cross. It is a painful experience, don’t get me wrong, I personally understand the process, and it can really be agonizing and frustrating at times. Dying to one’s self and our engrained culture’s “norms” is like getting stuck with a pin or stung by a bee. It hurts for a while. It may get red and swollen, but the wound is just a little puncture and one that disappears and heals quickly; that is, until the next prick comes along. I admit sometimes the Lord will open up some pretty big wounds or we experience a large gash that needs surgery and stitches. That is just part of an honest life of letting the Lord do what He needs to do in our lives; but He is the Great Physician and Specialized Surgeon in all aspects of Internal Medicine. He is also the Great Counselor for all spiritual matters as well. Thankfully, He has everything covered that we could possibly need!
The Lord made His will known to me very, very clearly, and that foundation is strong and has withheld many a strong wind and a lot of mighty battles to the death…my death that is! It has been well worth it though, and I am changing every day a little more into the image and likeness the Lord wants me to become. I choose to stay on the Potter’s wheel and am holding on for dear life! My lumps are being massaged out. Aaahhh, massage therapy…sometimes it feels great and relaxes my sore muscles and relieves a lot of pain, and sometimes, it hurts like the hell from which it got there in the first place, but I know without going that deep, my body will not get aligned and relieved of the manifested stress seen in every knotted lump. Without that massage therapy, I cannot experience the feeling of being whole, relaxed, aligned, and grounded to the wheel and ready to be formed into something outstanding out of this once lumpy blob of clay. I also realize that once the vessel is perfectly created, it has to go into the kiln and fired.
In her article in About.com Pottery, Beth Peterson described this process very well, so I will quote her below:
“As a kiln is firing up and cooling down, the changes in temperature make some profound changes in the clay. The clay goes from this soft, totally fragile substance to one which is rock-hard, impervious to water, wind, and time. The change is nearly mystical in its complete metamorphosis, and might be deemed so if it were not so common (2014).”
Bottom line is that we have chosen to be servants of the Almighty God our Creator, and in that choice, we have to surrender our vessels fully unto His will. He wants to create vessels for His glory, to be used for His purposes, whatever those may be. In order for Him to be able to do that, we have to get on the Potter’s wheel, be kneaded and spun around until we are so dizzy and disoriented that we can’t do anything but hold on for dear life as our vessels are being formed. Then, we have to allow the Lord to put us into the His kiln and put us through the fire so we can withstand anything that comes our way.
It takes a very strong vessel to live in Biblical Plural Marriage. No sugar coating is going to come from this writer. If someone tries to coat this lifestyle with confectionary treats, beware! It takes dying to self in ways you cannot even fathom. They will hit you out of left field and you won’t even see it coming. It takes a whole new level of fortitude. It takes the Love Chapter in Corinthians (Chapter 13) to a whole new level of laying down your life and loving unconditionally, but it is well worth it all. That three-fold (or more) cord cannot be easily broken. It takes each vessel to be formed into the Lord’s image and likeness, free from the lumps of sin, and fired and tested by the temptations and trials of one’s lifetime. It is an ongoing, living, breathing way of life full of tests and trials, but bountiful in security and unconditional love. It worth every bit of it to be able to be in the Lord’s will and bask in His blessings in Biblical Plural Marriage!
If given the chance, I would do it all over again. I would choose Biblical Plural Marriage over monogamy. Funny thing about that is that is exactly what happened! I was given another chance at Biblical Plural Marriage, and this time around, I got it right. It truly is a living, breathing experience of self-sacrifice, but the bountiful, unconditional love I have acquired is beyond anything I ever thought possible. I am living in the Lord’s will, and that gives me the surety I need to carry on every day of my life. Without that foundation, I would be lost. So, I encourage you to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.”
May the Lord bless you and keep you within His will.
With much love in Him,
Deborah
P.S. I apologize for such a lengthy post…I just get really “fired up” about Biblical Plural Marriage! LOLOL
Welcome to BiblicalFamilies.org. We are so glad to have you. There are a lot of really great folks here who are very willing to share their lives and experiences in plural marriage. There is also a wealth of information on the forums. I would encourage you to take the time to read the new and the old posts throughout the various forums. I am sure a lot of your questions and concerns will be answered, and you will find a lot of encouragement along the way.
On another note, I see that you are from the Midwest. I am actually from Lockport, IL, which is about 30 minutes south of Chicago and next to Joliet (where they filmed the movie the Blues Brothers). I now live in Northern Alabama in the Tennessee Valley Area. Where are you actually from, Wisconsin, Illinois, or Indiana? I am just curious.
FYI, there is a ladies chat every Tuesday night at 6:30 p.m. (CST). I am sure you would enjoy the chat and all the ladies there. I encourage you to come on in and meet those who are pretty consistently there on Tuesday nights. I hear they have quite a lot to talk about and have a lot of fun too. I have been on from time to time, but generally, my schedule does not allow me time Tuesday nights to be able to be there. I do send my hellos from time to time and my sisterwife is always there like clockwork.
It is great to have you here on BiblicalFamilies.org. Can you tell us some more about you? Hopefully without overwhelming you with questions, here are several that newcomers are often asked (just not all in one list! LOL). Of course, please share only as little as you want or feel comfortable to do. Over time, those who hand out here at BiblicalFamilies.org get to know one another and feel much more at ease and comfortable with sharing about their lives. A really great way to get to know us is to attend the retreats we have throughout the year. Again, please don’t be intimidated or overwhelmed with my list. They just sort of spilled out of my brain as I thought more about them.
1. How did you come into the understanding of Biblical Plural marriage?
2. Are you married?
3. Do you have a sisterwife?
4. If so, how long has she been part of your lives?
5. How did all that come into being?
6. If not, are you and your husband (if you are married) currently looking for a sisterwife?
7. On the other hand, if you are not married, are you currently just trying to understand this whole truth more deeply and doing research on the subject?
8. How long have you known about Biblical Plural Marriage?
9. How are you handling this important, yet in a lot of ways, difficult Biblical truth?
10. What has the Lord really put deep in your heart about it?
11. Are there any questions you still have that you can't quite really get a hold of or that still concern you?
12. Are you considering and/or looking to join a family?
13. If so, why do you want to be part of plural family?
14. What kind of family would be your heart’s desire to be part of?
15. Very importantly, if you are not married, what kind of man of God and husband are you looking for? (In my opinion, that is one of the important questions.)
16. Also, what do you hope to have in a relationship with a sisterwife(s)?
17. If you've been married before, do you have children still presently living with you?
18. Do you want to have more children?
19. Finally, and the absolutely most important question of all, have you prayed and asked the Lord what HIS will is for you in all things related to your new understanding of Biblical Plural Marriage?
20. What is it that HE wants of you?
Question #19 and #20 are very important and their answers are the key to your entire life’s and future’s success. Of course, that is true not only in Biblical Plural Marriage, but also in monogamy and every other aspect of one’s life. We all need to be honest with the Lord and really dig down deep into the very core of our lives and face head on who we want to become in God. More importantly, we need to find out who the Lord wants us to be. We all need to seriously be willing to ask Him, "Lord, what is your will in all of these things? Please show me what Your will clearly is. At all costs, please do not let my will get in the way and cloud my judgment so I can’t see what Your perfect will and path is for me. Thank you Heavenly Father. In Jesus Name I pray." If we will be truly honest with ourselves and with the Lord to the best of our ability and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and not run off ahead of the Lord's timing out of impatience, anxiety, restlessness, or even excitement of a prospective situation that may presents itself; and we are willing to wait upon the Lord, I truly believe He will show us His perfect will in every aspect of our lives. Please understand that the enemy is very tricky. He has 6,000 years of experience in railroading the Lord’s will in people’s lives, and he is very good at it. Not every situation that presents itself is the Lord’s will. The enemy is really great at disguising himself and presenting what “appears” to be the Lord’s will in our lives. It may look like a sheep, baaaa like a sheep, even walk like a sheep, but actually be a wolf in sheep’s clothing; whether that be a person who comes into our lives for one reason or another or a situation that looks appealing and appears to be a blessing, but is actually a cursing.
I am going to step out in faith here and tell you that I believe you personally understand from experience what I’m talking about. The Lord does not want that to happen to you again. He would say, “Listen to ME this time. If you run off half cocked again, you may end up shooting off more than just your foot this time.” I hope you take that for whatever it is worth and act accordingly (and please don’t shoot the messenger! LOL ).
I know that the Lord will hear your prayers and that He wants the best for you. He wants you to be safe, secure, happy, and all healed up so that He can get on with doing what he originally intended for your life. He wants to create in you a strong soldier who can fight the enemy without wavering and win the war. It is time for us to stop fighting Him and collectively fight the enemy.
In order to have the Lord’s blessing, there is a cost to pay. It does require paying the price of our own will and laying down our lives and self. That is never an easy thing to do, but it is well worth the rewards that lay along the path we walk to acquire it. It is an ongoing, living experience, just like the Word of God is alive and breathes new truth to us each time we read it. It is amazing to me how we can read a particular chapter in the Bible and understand something about it that we didn’t see before, and then later on, read the same chapter and something else entirely is brought into light that was not seen before. That is a good analogy of how living in Biblical Plural Marriage really is understood and lived. As one walks down its path, it is new every day. Some days the Lord reveals just the little things that need to be laid at the altar. Other days, the Lord digs deep and reveals a really big area of our life that needs to be dealt with and brought to the cross. It is a painful experience, don’t get me wrong, I personally understand the process, and it can really be agonizing and frustrating at times. Dying to one’s self and our engrained culture’s “norms” is like getting stuck with a pin or stung by a bee. It hurts for a while. It may get red and swollen, but the wound is just a little puncture and one that disappears and heals quickly; that is, until the next prick comes along. I admit sometimes the Lord will open up some pretty big wounds or we experience a large gash that needs surgery and stitches. That is just part of an honest life of letting the Lord do what He needs to do in our lives; but He is the Great Physician and Specialized Surgeon in all aspects of Internal Medicine. He is also the Great Counselor for all spiritual matters as well. Thankfully, He has everything covered that we could possibly need!
The Lord made His will known to me very, very clearly, and that foundation is strong and has withheld many a strong wind and a lot of mighty battles to the death…my death that is! It has been well worth it though, and I am changing every day a little more into the image and likeness the Lord wants me to become. I choose to stay on the Potter’s wheel and am holding on for dear life! My lumps are being massaged out. Aaahhh, massage therapy…sometimes it feels great and relaxes my sore muscles and relieves a lot of pain, and sometimes, it hurts like the hell from which it got there in the first place, but I know without going that deep, my body will not get aligned and relieved of the manifested stress seen in every knotted lump. Without that massage therapy, I cannot experience the feeling of being whole, relaxed, aligned, and grounded to the wheel and ready to be formed into something outstanding out of this once lumpy blob of clay. I also realize that once the vessel is perfectly created, it has to go into the kiln and fired.
In her article in About.com Pottery, Beth Peterson described this process very well, so I will quote her below:
“As a kiln is firing up and cooling down, the changes in temperature make some profound changes in the clay. The clay goes from this soft, totally fragile substance to one which is rock-hard, impervious to water, wind, and time. The change is nearly mystical in its complete metamorphosis, and might be deemed so if it were not so common (2014).”
Bottom line is that we have chosen to be servants of the Almighty God our Creator, and in that choice, we have to surrender our vessels fully unto His will. He wants to create vessels for His glory, to be used for His purposes, whatever those may be. In order for Him to be able to do that, we have to get on the Potter’s wheel, be kneaded and spun around until we are so dizzy and disoriented that we can’t do anything but hold on for dear life as our vessels are being formed. Then, we have to allow the Lord to put us into the His kiln and put us through the fire so we can withstand anything that comes our way.
It takes a very strong vessel to live in Biblical Plural Marriage. No sugar coating is going to come from this writer. If someone tries to coat this lifestyle with confectionary treats, beware! It takes dying to self in ways you cannot even fathom. They will hit you out of left field and you won’t even see it coming. It takes a whole new level of fortitude. It takes the Love Chapter in Corinthians (Chapter 13) to a whole new level of laying down your life and loving unconditionally, but it is well worth it all. That three-fold (or more) cord cannot be easily broken. It takes each vessel to be formed into the Lord’s image and likeness, free from the lumps of sin, and fired and tested by the temptations and trials of one’s lifetime. It is an ongoing, living, breathing way of life full of tests and trials, but bountiful in security and unconditional love. It worth every bit of it to be able to be in the Lord’s will and bask in His blessings in Biblical Plural Marriage!
If given the chance, I would do it all over again. I would choose Biblical Plural Marriage over monogamy. Funny thing about that is that is exactly what happened! I was given another chance at Biblical Plural Marriage, and this time around, I got it right. It truly is a living, breathing experience of self-sacrifice, but the bountiful, unconditional love I have acquired is beyond anything I ever thought possible. I am living in the Lord’s will, and that gives me the surety I need to carry on every day of my life. Without that foundation, I would be lost. So, I encourage you to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.”
May the Lord bless you and keep you within His will.
With much love in Him,
Deborah
P.S. I apologize for such a lengthy post…I just get really “fired up” about Biblical Plural Marriage! LOLOL