@Daniel DeLuca thanks for the comments and suggestions. 1st of all she never assumed she'd be the only one, I was clear to her and her family before I married her that I may take another wife later in the future. She just decided she wanted to attempt to exert authority over me to get what she wanted even though she full knows I won't agree.
I've learned over the years as a dominate man who is also kind and loving that others I am in authority over try to exert or dominate over me because they don't want to be or feel dominated over. Therefore manipulation is used to try and twist things I care about such as being loving and kind, against me to attempt to exert dominance over me. My wives have done this, my employees have done this. I'm not sure why some people feel threaten against by another authority figure who is a natural leader when they are not.
But despite that, the other night my wife admitted that she does say things that are untrue to provke me. Most women have the natural desire to be dominated, I do believe that, but their flesh/sinful nature attacks against submission, so it's a fight most women have to endure to overcome. My wife likes to be dominated, until she doesn't, and that's usually when she is jellious or angry. I agree with you it is associated to insecurites, fears that she has, not based off of realities.
I have family members who haveade the same comment to me, "we're called to submit to one another. I agree this is in reference to a church role as with the church of acts. The leaders were always men even in the churches, Paul was clear on that because of the conflicts of what I believe was women wanting to teach in the churchs. Wives were to be silent in the churches, so this message from Paul was to the men, not the wives, to submit to one another. When he was speaking to the wives he said so. Why didn't Christ appoint a female deciple if women were to lead His church? They weren't.
As for me and my house we will serve the Lord. There are consequences for behaviours, and yes, I say it often, if your going to act like a child I'll handle you as a child. Reminding her that she expects more obedience from our children then she her self is willing to do, and this is a poor example to the kids.
One of my comcerns is prolonging the "not persuing other relationship's". Not because I don't want to get my home in order but simply because the more I do prolong it the more she gets set in the idea of she can act like this and keep me from getting another relationship. At that point it becomes her being manipulative or dominant to get what she wants me to do. She made promises to support and aid in the search, but then she "doesn't like her" or what ever behavior or excuse occurs to wiggle out of her obligation and word. Originally I thought it was important for her to be involved in the courting relationship, but now I'm not so sure.
@eye4them I appreciate the suggestions. I do take magnesium but not my wife, we are fitness fenatics and I use it for muscle recovery. As for the rasins or grapes, I don't think that is the solution to my wife's desire for dominance or control over me and the relationship.
I've been clear going forward, of she acts like that me and the kids will go out for a while until she calms down, not leave her, just step out without her until she's regained control over herself again. She doesn't like or want that so I do believe that will be a good consequence. Reassuring her we will always come home, but we won't be around her like that. This is to protect her from herself as well as the rest of us from the emotional backlash. Just getting to the point to get her to stop preventing us from leaving is the next issue that arrises.
