Pretty Tulips
Member
...
-
Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.
Am I being selfish? Or is the devil tempting me?
- Thread starter Pretty Tulips
- Start date
A
Anonymous
Guest
Caring about your children's feelings is very important, but ultimately, as their mother, it is your duty to take them wherever the Lord leads you. If you are confident about following the Lord wherever He leads, they will see your confidence, and even though they might not like your decision, they will at least feel safe in the fact that they know you are doing what is right.
10 and 12 year old girls can be highly emotional and can pick up the emotions of their mama very quickly! Trust the Lord and be confident in His will!
10 and 12 year old girls can be highly emotional and can pick up the emotions of their mama very quickly! Trust the Lord and be confident in His will!
I can't tell you whether your decision is best or not, not knowing all the factors, but I will back up duet30 that it is YOUR decision to make, while hearing from the Lord. I know it might be tougher for a single mom being on the receiving end of their 'grief' - but you can NOT make your decision based on the extremely limited understanding and vision of a 10 and 12 year old.
I speak from experience: my parents drug me at 5 and 12 to very different states, and I've done it 3 times now to my kids - and may do it to them again in their most 'social' years. I know what they'll complain about, but it won't move me. I still remember running out of the kitchen, throwing down the towel that I was helping my mom to dry the dishes with, when she told me we were moving to rural Pennsylvania from our wonderful 3 acre property in south Orlando, with dozens of friends close by. ("You can go, but I'm staying here!!") I didn't forgive them for that one for a long time! But I loved them, and never doubted they wanted what was best for me. Your girls will do the same. Don't let their fear rule, instead redirect it. It is impossiblefor them to remotely perceive how the grass could possibly be greener somewhere else, if they've never actually experienced living elsewhere. But it is, it's always greener! I've got wanderlust in my bones, and I'm getting happy feet again myself!
Nathan
PS. I got the last laugh on my parents - moved back to Florida, twice, and got them come the last time, too - so now we live a few miles apart, a few miles from where I grew up.
I speak from experience: my parents drug me at 5 and 12 to very different states, and I've done it 3 times now to my kids - and may do it to them again in their most 'social' years. I know what they'll complain about, but it won't move me. I still remember running out of the kitchen, throwing down the towel that I was helping my mom to dry the dishes with, when she told me we were moving to rural Pennsylvania from our wonderful 3 acre property in south Orlando, with dozens of friends close by. ("You can go, but I'm staying here!!") I didn't forgive them for that one for a long time! But I loved them, and never doubted they wanted what was best for me. Your girls will do the same. Don't let their fear rule, instead redirect it. It is impossiblefor them to remotely perceive how the grass could possibly be greener somewhere else, if they've never actually experienced living elsewhere. But it is, it's always greener! I've got wanderlust in my bones, and I'm getting happy feet again myself!
Nathan
PS. I got the last laugh on my parents - moved back to Florida, twice, and got them come the last time, too - so now we live a few miles apart, a few miles from where I grew up.
You da Mom, PT!
Think the girls are unhappy now? Just let 'em get confused as to who fills that role, and watch the unhappy results.
Wanderlust or not, there are no guarantees in life. No job guarantees, or location guarantees. The only guarantee is God. About the rest, learning to be adaptable is of fairly prime importance.
Adaptability is all about being able to deal with "change". (I understand in some quarters that is a 4 letter word. )
Further, as I understand what you just said, the current situation is about the worst in terms of future prospects. So YOUR choices would seem to be, a) stay with the worst or, b) change. Leave selfishness out of it. Kids love to charge you with that and with acting childish. Makes them feel better about their own acting out. What is RESPONSIBLE as the parent? Stay with the worst, or go for the best?
Which brings us all right back to ...
You da Mom, PT!
Think the girls are unhappy now? Just let 'em get confused as to who fills that role, and watch the unhappy results.
Wanderlust or not, there are no guarantees in life. No job guarantees, or location guarantees. The only guarantee is God. About the rest, learning to be adaptable is of fairly prime importance.
Adaptability is all about being able to deal with "change". (I understand in some quarters that is a 4 letter word.
)Further, as I understand what you just said, the current situation is about the worst in terms of future prospects. So YOUR choices would seem to be, a) stay with the worst or, b) change. Leave selfishness out of it. Kids love to charge you with that and with acting childish. Makes them feel better about their own acting out. What is RESPONSIBLE as the parent? Stay with the worst, or go for the best?
Which brings us all right back to ...
You da Mom, PT!
I see that Cecil put it in LARGE print, PT, and in color besides, so I couldn't agree more, or emphasize the point any better -- except by providing an additional witness.
You are the one in authority over them at this point, and it your responsibility to exercise that authority as best you are able, in accord with His will.
Do so prayerfully, and in study, and know that you are in all of our prayers as well in the process.
Blessings in Him,
Mark
You are the one in authority over them at this point, and it your responsibility to exercise that authority as best you are able, in accord with His will.
Do so prayerfully, and in study, and know that you are in all of our prayers as well in the process.
Blessings in Him,
Mark
As a person who has moved quite a bit pastoring and such, I would say do what you feel is best. The children will understand at a later time if they do not now. I now NJ is a hard place to live I used to live in the Bricks as well as NY and they are even higher IMO. So go with what you feel you will feel better in the end knowing your children are safe. That isn't selfish to want to better your life so your children better theirs.
Okay, someone has to talk the other side of things.
Growing up for me was a steady diet of new homes in new places with whole new cliquish societies to not belong to. I never have fit in anywhere and never feel quite at home anywhere either. I lived in Nevada for 27 years and was always ready to pack up and move to a new place. My siblings have all purchased homes in one place and dropped roots there. Their children lived in the same school district from kindergarten up and they all have the same friends all their lives.
I am not sure which is better, but I honestly believe that most of my insecurities come from my early years and never having a place that was really home.
Maybe it isn't scriptural, but I do have regrets. I realize you are talking about one move, not many, so it probably doesn't fit with what I have to say.
SweetLissa
Growing up for me was a steady diet of new homes in new places with whole new cliquish societies to not belong to. I never have fit in anywhere and never feel quite at home anywhere either. I lived in Nevada for 27 years and was always ready to pack up and move to a new place. My siblings have all purchased homes in one place and dropped roots there. Their children lived in the same school district from kindergarten up and they all have the same friends all their lives.
I am not sure which is better, but I honestly believe that most of my insecurities come from my early years and never having a place that was really home.
Maybe it isn't scriptural, but I do have regrets. I realize you are talking about one move, not many, so it probably doesn't fit with what I have to say.
SweetLissa
Shimon
Member
Lissa, as an Air Force brat, I know exactly what you mean. I also feel that my difficulty in forming relationships stems from that move every three years mentality. I guess that in this case, if a permanent move is intended, new roots could be quickly established. One of the problems with the military lifestyle is even if you don't get packed up and move, many of those friends you do make will. So you get used to transitory relationships. I really envied my college friends the roots they had grown up with.
Dave