Beautiful Maasai Family: Three Wives, No Jealousy

[rockfox]

They feel what the adults around them condition them to feel. If the adults are worried about the child being jealous, tell the child not to be jealous and that they'll still love them just as much, and generally think negatively about it - the child will be jealous. On the other hand, if the parents are simply excited about the new addition and get the child excited about the new addition too and helping, the child will not be jealous but excited.

We have 7 children, and to my knowledge never had a problem with older children being jealous of the baby. Because we never expected it, so it didn't happen. Instead, our toddlers would come and give their most precious toys to the baby to express their love for them.

I've seen it in some of our children, not in others, and we don't do any of those things you say would trigger jealousy. Your children are not my children; which is to say different families have different tendencies.

But we know how to handle it, it wasn't bad, and was of little consequence.

 

[NBTX11]

I have an unpopular view of jealously, I actually think it's normal. Women want men to provide, love and lead, if he has other women and other children there's a possibility that all of those things are spread thinner. It's almost survival- instinctive for a woman to be concerned about how other wives and children will effect her, not only emotionally but rationally. Whether any of those things are actually effected is another story however the concern is still valid.

Is it a western construct? Would the woman naturally still be jealous if she grew up on a society that accepted PM. Has society taught her to be jealous, or is in instinctive?

 

[LDremoved]

Is it a western construct? Would the woman naturally still be jealous if she grew up on a society that accepted PM. Has society taught her to be jealous, or is in instinctive?

I can imagine that even if you're accustomed to a polygamist culture, you still have concerns about whether or not a man can provide enough of everything you need for yourself and your children, particularly if he brings in additional wives and has additional children. To me that's not necessarily jealousy, that's survival instinct or possibly a bit of both. We need men to survive, women are more dependant in every way.

Also i've seen many women that grew up in a polygamist culture say they experience jealousy when they never thought they would. I'm sure the reasons vary from person to person. That's why making blanket statements such as "feminist culture" "selfish" "insecure" "doesn't trust her husband" are not always accurate. Like I said I think in our culture (western) we may be more prone to jealousy because of those influences but i'm still not entirely convinced that it's so easily explained away.

 

[frederick]

A man who finds a wife finds a good thing, and as my wife pointed out one time, she loves me and so wants good things for me.

That's an awesome attitude your wife has. Congratulations.

 

[frederick]

They go over western marriage vs. her marriage, and she says hers is better than ours! Many highlights in this single video.

Very interesting video. What is "normal" for the Maasai people makes western monogamy-only culture look inefficient, even difficult. Her acceptance of being given in marriage, and then learning to like it and become happy was great to hear.

 

[NBTX11]

I can imagine that even if you're accustomed to a polygamist culture, you still have concerns about whether or not a man can provide enough of everything you need for yourself and your children, particularly if he brings in additional wives and has additional children. To me that's not necessarily jealousy, that's survival instinct or possibly a bit of both. We need men to survive, women are more dependant in every way.

Also i've seen many women that grew up in a polygamist culture say they experience jealousy when they never thought they would. I'm sure the reasons vary from person to person. That's why making blanket statements such as "feminist culture" "selfish" "insecure" "doesn't trust her husband" are not always accurate. Like I said I think in our culture (western) we may be more prone to jealousy because of those influences but i'm still not entirely convinced that it's so easily explained away.

OK, I was just curious about where female jealousy comes from. For example, my wife spent 50 years being taught in the church that PM was wrong and sinful. Only through Bible study have we both determined that not to be true. We both recognize there's nothing wrong with PM, but she still has a hard time overcoming her tendencies. I wonder if her thoughts may have been different if she spent her life being taught another view.

I was also lied to about a whole bunch of other stuff by my particular denomination but that's another topic.

 

[Bina]

There is really nothing not normal about it.

I never could wrap my mind around jealousy.

my sentiments indeed

 

[Keith Martin]

my sentiments indeed

On the whole, jealousy for women is tactically-manufactured strategy.

 

[JudahYAHites]

They go over western marriage vs. her marriage, and she says hers is better than ours! Many highlights in this single video.

Nice video

There is really nothing not normal about it.

Women are by nature polygynous.

From experience and observation, an interested woman is not really bothered if you have another woman, they have no issue becoming a "side chick" or a "mistress" or a "secret lover" because what comes out from their mouth without fail is they want to become your number one woman and then your only woman, its like an ingrained programmed competition. The hardest kickback from women (and this is consistent from before salvation) has always been the fact of having an official woman status alongside other women, its as if a form of cognitive dissonance kicks in.

 

[NickF]

Anybody notice the name of the first wife in that video? "Penina". Sounds an awful lot like "Peninnah".

 

[Bina]

I think (based solely on my own experience) that jealousy is partly due to insecurity. If I really thought that my support came strictly from my husband and his efforts I wouldn't want to tax or drain that supply. But when I keep in mind that our blessings come from an infinite creator, I have no problem sharing whatever we have.

If you see any family member as a burden, you'll see them all that way. If you see them as blessings you'll see them all that way.

I feel very blessed to be a wife, mom, and now a friend and support to my sisterwife. That her son looks to me when she's gone is a sweet honor.

What we have is by His grace/favor. You can't store it, or hord it. It goes further shared. The most valuable things aren't things....they are people. That is what makes this such a blessing. We get the rare opportunity to make loved friends family.

right on!

 

[Bina]

I think (based solely on my own experience) that jealousy is partly due to insecurity. If I really thought that my support came strictly from my husband and his efforts I wouldn't want to tax or drain that supply. But when I keep in mind that our blessings come from an infinite creator, I have no problem sharing whatever we have.

If you see any family member as a burden, you'll see them all that way. If you see them as blessings you'll see them all that way.

I feel very blessed to be a wife, mom, and now a friend and support to my sisterwife. That her son looks to me when she's gone is a sweet honor.

What we have is by His grace/favor. You can't store it, or hord it. It goes further shared. The most valuable things aren't things....they are people. That is what makes this such a blessing. We get the rare opportunity to make loved friends family.

Your attitude, posture and generous mindset can only strengthen your King's household. Blessed is he and all his possessions.

 

[Bina]

Your attitude, posture and generous mindset can only strengthen your King's household. Blessed is he and all his possessions.

Much appreciated Sis. Happy Monday ( 2nd day) to you and all whom you love!

 

[TheSeeker]

I agree it's fascinating. Almost enviable. I have a theory that, in their case, it has less to do with being "Christianized" (Catholicized?) or not, and more to do with being more or fewer iterations removed from the first civilizations. The most ancient civilizations that we have any evidence of had laws and customs shockingly close to those of the Hebrews. Adhering to traditions (not moving the boundary stones of their fathers) has kept these "primitive" civilizations closer to the truth that they ALL originally were intimate with, regardless of what language they used to describe it. All can trace their lineage back to Noah, after all. Each collapse/rebirth/mingling of civilizations down the lines of time equated to essentially playing a game of telephone with those traditions which represented the truth. Here we are now, claiming to be wise, but became fools with a totally obscure and perverted sense of truth, while these forgotten peoples have been mostly undisturbed in their remembrance of the truth as it was passed down to them, whether they understand it's meaning or not.

I recall the story of some Mennonite missionaries who went to a remote primitive tribe and preached to them. The natives had their own version of the creation story, and easily understood the Biblical account, recognized the discrepencies in theirs, and accepted the Biblical version as authentic. I think that understanding also lended itself to their ease of understanding and acceptance of salvation, as it is pictured in the sum of creation all around us if we are not blind. When they were told about evolutionists, they laughed. But, when you think about it, how much easier was it for them to accept salvation than a "learned" man of today? This pathway to understanding and accepting salvation is why I think this Biblical marriage ministry, with insistence on the legitimacy of polygyny and the authority of the male, is beneficial, not superficial, and worth pursuing.

I am glad to see someone else thinking along these lines! Everything is traceable back to Noah! His three sons have given us all the nations with many Europeans coming from Japeth, many Africans from Ham, and many Asians from Shem, of course, with some intermingling amongst these peoples too. But everywhere you look, you see a Flood story in the culture, and you see the figure of Noah and the 7 other survivors. He's Nu-wa in Chinese myth, he's Manu in Indian myth, and he's Uranus in Greek myth. All these cultures had their own names for the same people - Noah's grandson, via Ham, was called Mizraim, but also Osiris in Egypt and Zeus in Greece. While this is slightly off-topic, it is fascinating!

A side note, I'm a European-descended South African and I can tell you that many African peoples still practice polygamy, particularly in poorer areas. However, it is more common for the chief to be the only polygamist in certain groups here, such as in the Xhosa culture, whereby the chiefs amassed wives. But unfortunately, this was sometimes at the expense of other men usually, as the chiefs could take the wives of other men if they willed it, and the men could do nothing about it.