There probably needs to be a distinction made in the terms of "fear" and "wisdom" here.
It is true and vitally paramount that we as saints not live as cowards. The Bible is strong in terms of the destiny of cowards (see Rev. 21:8). A believer in Christ has no need to walk in fear or in a cowardly manner.
However, wisdom in the spirit of love also must govern the steps of saints. Jesus said to be "wise as serpents and harmless as doves." The Bible in Romans 14 says, "Let us make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification . . . . It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will will cause your brother to stumble or be destroyed. SO whatever you believe about these things (conscience issues or issues where there is freedom for people to practice different lifestyles) keep between yourself and God." Additionally in this text the Bible says, "Do not by your eating [a practice] destroy your brother for whom Christ died."
Granted, the doctrine of marriage is not a conscience issue but the practice of it is a conscience issue because some may choose to remain single, some may marry one, and some may marry more.
Therefore, walking with the goal of making peace is contrary to the idea of seeking to lead or cause a revolution. A revolution, if used and defined in its natural sense, means to revolt against established authorities. As saints we can never act in revolt as such shows dishonor. We may disobey but we may never revolt. We may fail to submit but we must be willing to suffer the persecution for our choices and not revolt against the established authority.
The Bible demands that we respect and honor the established authorities which may be in the home, elders in the churches, and civil leaders in the community (legislative, executive, and judicial leaders). The Bible speaks plainly to this issue in the specific words is uses in 1 Peter 2:13-17. A close reading shows a distinction in terms.
Four terms in this text show how to properly conduct ourselves as we go about living out truth even while those who are in authority may not agree with us. It has much to do with a right heart coming out in right practice without a rebellious or revolting attitude or spirit which is so easy to fall into due to the sin of pride, anger, and bitterness which sometimes is covered by the cloak of pursuing truth.
The four terms or phrases are:
1. Submit to all authority (2:13)
2. Show honor to all (2:17)
3. Respect authority (2:18)
4. Honor the King [or governing authority, for us here in America that would be the constitution as well as the three branches of government]. (2:17.
The three Greek words for these key terms are: honor-timao; submit-hypotasso; and respect-phobos. The word honor is used both for all people and unto the king, or ruling body or officials.
Systematic theology seeks to arrive at balanced conclusions by harmonizing all of scripture or portions of scripture or topics into a practical whole for a particular situation. In this instance the question becomes this: How can those who believe and/or practice plural marriage still show honor, respect, and a submissive spirit to people in general and authorities in particular when those may wrongly reject what is right.
That was a key point to Peter's message to these Jewish saints who were being persecuted for their faith in the Messiah. So strong of a point was it that Peter even said, "For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God . . . . If you suffer for doing good and endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps."
Paul said it this way, "Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil" (Rom. 14:16).
The answer to how to faithfully practice a godly lifestyle that is at the same time being rejected or spoken evil of by leaders is neither to revolt nor to cower down and shut up in cowardardly actions. The way to act is by showing as much honor to all, including the leaders of government, in every way possible and doing so in such a way that the other people will see, know, and feel the respect, honor, and love from us that they will be convicted even if they differ with us in one area.
This is why Peter said, "For it is God's will that by doing good {which is through showing respect and reverence} you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. Show respect to everyone {which would include even those who are in serious error}. Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king" (2:15-17).
Peter went on to say: "Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened" (1 Peter 3:13-14). This coincides with Jesus's words that as saints we are called to be peacemakers (Matt. 5:9).
So how do we sow peace, show respect and honor, and yet still live a way of life that is unsubmissive to an idea or ruler or leader? By walking in wisdom and love.
Maybe an illustration will help. Let us go back to the days when our African American brothers were persecuted because of their skin color.
Suppose Jerry and John are nieghbors. They both want to be able to marry women of a different race but the local government refuses to allow them to do so because they are second class citizens. In response Jerry writes letters that are revolutionary type letters where he calls for revolt by the other men in the community. He places a specially designed flag out in his yard that symbolizes the spirit of their cause. He and his "girlfriend" flaunt their time together by walking out next to the road and kissing one another as community members and civil leaders drive by. By and large by their actions they are flaunting their position and rejecting the leadership and community standards. They claim God is on their side and that they must "obey God rather than men." Their actions become so annoying and so disruptive that finally one afternoon a police officer and judge conspire together to resolve this disturbance. They drive by and see the man kissing the woman in public and arrest the man and woman for disorderly conduct as well citing him for a lewd act in public.
On the other hand, John takes a different approach. He and his lady see the error of the community and government. They know they have the freedom in the Lord to marry and to do so righteously. But they also love the community they live in and they desire to keep peace among the community and between them and the leaders. So they seek to unite but to do so without all of the pomp and fanfar that came along with Jerry. They spend time together, love each other, yet they are wise in how public they display their union as the time has not yet arrived where they can be so open about it. They work behind the scenes, talking to people about Christ, making donations to people running for elected office, helping the poor, speaking well of the community and leaders as they go about their daily life. They share the gospel as they can and seek to lead people towards the truth on an individual basis rather than through a great fanfare of activity where they call for revolt until they have equal rights. At times community members, police, judges, and legislators discover of their love and their union. Some are concerned, some are rude to them about it, but overall many, even those who disagree with them still have a hard time being vocal and angry towards them because they have been blessed by these people in many ways by their prayers, their support in campaigns, and their loyalty to the overall good the community. Though they experience some persecution over time they build friendships, relationships, and bonds of those in the community to where finally 25 years later many are now wanting to defend them and make it legal for a man of African American status to have the same legal rights to marry someone of another ethnic background. In one of the community meetings even a local police officer stands up to testify saying: "I know John and his mate. For years I was against them yet year after year he and his mate have shown me kindness and gentless towards me, even when i was rude to them. I even wrote them a ticket one day for going one mile over the speed limit and they were still respectful, kind, gracious, and the lady even still brought to the police sqaud room homemade cookies at Christmas time. I've seen them volunteer in the community, I've seen them show love even when we have not shown love back to them. I still don't think I want my daughter to marry an African American man but i don't think this needs to be a law anymore. I think it needs to be personal choices. If these two people claim love for each other then I think we ought to let love have its way even if many of us would not choose this way for ourselves." The community at large decides this is right and they remove the law forbidding the practice.
The difference here has to do with spirit, attitude, relational skill. The goal is not to either revolt or stir up a storm nor to cower down and be silent. The goal is to be Christ-like as we show honor, and respect, especially even when we may not be able to fully submit to someone or something in all areas because of a higher authority over us. We should never seek to cause a controversy, nor should we ever enjoy being in a controversy.
Furthermore, we ought to make sure that we are showing love, respect, honor, and a peaceful attitude in so many other areas where we can and should agree. By doing this we can love those who declare themselves to be enemies of our positions. This is why Paul said, "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse" as well as "if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" (Rom. 12:14,18).
At times a couple/family will need to remain silent and not speak of their faith or union. It is the loving thing to do sometimes. Sometimes the Holy Spirit will lead people to do this. But at times the Spirit will lead the same family to speak and share the truth. There is no one set universal rule here. Maturity, balance, walking in step with the Spirit is the golden rule here. One should not be a coward about their belief yet one should not always speak his views either to everyone at all times in all places, which is unwise and foolish and can even be destructive to a brother or sister who may not be ready to digest such a topic.
As with all things, love must be the key motive in why one does or does not speak about his or her views. Sometimes out of love one will need to speak and use the moment as a time for discipleship. Yet in some cases to speak would be disrespectful and hurtful to another. Most of this knowledge can only come about by following the Holy Spirit and by having godly people around you who can give good healthy counsel in the spirit of wisdom. As Proverbs says, there is wisdom in the multitude of counselors.
Dr. K.R. Allen
I am just tired of seeing good people who love their families being at the end of their sanity because of being afraid. We can change the world it is up too us though. And I love that quote "anonymous revolution". That was awsome!
