Can a wife leave her husband?

[redfox]

In verse 1 Cor 7:10, I think that there is the potential for a semantic argument over the use of the words "should not" versus the words "shall not" or "shalt not" if you prefer. Especially when followed by verse 11, it seems that there is a potential window there for the wives.

If a husband is being abusive to the point of risking the life of the woman and/or children, I would think that it means that he has abandoned his desire to protect said family members, and is sinning against them. I would think at that point, the woman would have a duty to protect not only her own life, but also the lives of her children. I think that verse 11 is quite clear though, when it states that that woman is not allowed to remarry. Just because her husband is failing in his duties to protect and love her, does not mean that she now has the right to seek that protection elsewhere. I believe the word for that would be adultery, and I'd say that the scriptures are fairly clear on that subject.

On the issue of whether a woman should stay in a situation where her life is severely threatened, I think that is a personal question. I believe that if a woman in that position chooses to stay with her husband and do her best to support and honor him even when it is detrimental to her own life, God will honor that. At this point, I don't necessarily see any dishonor in a wife separating from an abusive husband for her own and her children's safety either. The dishonor would come if she chose to remarry instead of reconciling to her husband.

 

[Hugh McBryde]

Since God defines marriage, and also declares "what God has put together, let no man put asunder," we'd have to go by his rules. Society has rules about what society calls "divorce," but that doesn't mean what it says is a divorce, is any more a divorce in God's eyes, that aborting a fetus is "simply a medical procedure" because that is how the law defines it.

For this reason "Same Sex Marriage" is simply a string of words, not a thing that can actually be accomplished.

Then next hurdle is, "What is Marriage?" I've mentioned before that I am not entirely sure some of us are married, though we may be "husband and wife." True marriage in scripture results from those having actual agency contracting for marriage. In the case of the never married, scripture gives us examples of marriage occurring only between those persons that parents have given their blessing to marry. Assuming you ARE married, the answer to "may a woman DIVORCE her husband (or end her marriage to him)" is an unqualified NO. She may have her marriage immediately terminated by the desertion of an unbelieving husband (1st Corinthians 7) but that is not termed "divorce." The marriage is just immediately OVER. Society may ask us to go about giving what society calls a divorce, but it's not a divorce, only a man, scripturally, per God's law, can divorce.

If the two are husband and wife but not married (concubinage), then Exodus 21 applies and the woman can leave if she is deprived for a dual condition. She must be deprived of one of three things:

If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish, and if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money."

And it must be as a result of TAKING another wife, not simply that she is deprived, such as in times of hardship. If he takes a wife, and because of doing so, deprives his existing wife of concubinage, the she may leave. This too is not termed divorce.

Of course, if the question is simply "may a wife leave her husband," the answer is yes, but she remains bound to him, until he dies, unless the conditions of 1st Corinthians 7 are accomplished, or those of Exodus 21, which refers to wives not of marriage.

 

[CecilW]

the woman would have a duty to protect not only her own life, but also the lives of her children. I think that verse 11 is quite clear though, when it states that that woman is not allowed to remarry. Just because her husband is failing in his duties to protect and love her, does not mean that she now has the right to seek that protection elsewhere. I believe the word for that would be adultery, and I'd say that the scriptures are fairly clear on that subject.

Oooooh. Interesting. Let me offer my own hypothesis.

You were born into sin, and sinned yourself. That made you a part of Satan's kingdom, with him as your spiritual covering / head / husband. Unfortunately, deep down (or not so deep), Satan is a human hater and abuses you at every turn. Is there any disagreement on this?

So you have turned from your relationship with him, and sought one with One who not only provides for and protects you (especially from your evil ex-spiritual-husband) but gave His life to do so.

I'll bet the devil would be glad to point the finger and yell "Adulteress!" at you for doing so. Call it spiritual aduiltery if anyone wills, as you did break away from your first relationship, but GOOD FOR YOU!!!

And if this scenario is played out here in the human realm, with human husbands who illustrate what God and devil are like as spiritual husbands, I hope you jump ship in similar fashion, no matter WHAT anyone labels it! So far as I'm concerned THAT is the Biblical pattern and mandate!

 

[sweetlissa]

The reality is that while it may not say in scripture that a woman can divorce her husband, we are human. We have hard hearts and we do sin. That is one of the great aspects of grace. Because while we were less spiritually mature than we are now, we may have made a mistake. That doesn't mean that we are not forgiven or that we cannot be forgiven.

To parallel it to another sin...

If I murder someone, I am forgiven. I pay the penalty to the world. I am forgiven whether my victim comes back to life or not.

If I eat something unclean, I can be forgiven. I go through a cleansing and then I go on with my life.

Just because we sin, doesn't mean we stop living and moving forward and doing the best we can.

Deu 24:4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.

This tells me in no uncertain terms that a woman cannot go back to be reconciled with a former husband once she has been married or sexually active with another.

To those of you who believe a woman should never leave a man who is abusing her, I only have one thing to say...

You have never been beaten by a man and you haven't seen someone you love beaten by a man.

SweetLissa

 

[nathan]

Thanks to everyone who gave a heartfelt reply - we think there's some good info to be found here, and prefer to lock the thread for now, to let it cool down.