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Chaste conversation or cast your pearls before swine?

windblown

windblown

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Female
*Warning: Stream of consciousness coming*
This, being my first post, and me, being an introvert and overthinker, (I also should confess to being a comma junkie), please bear with me! I wasn't sure where to post (ladies only, perhaps...I do usually avoid communicating with the stronger vessels) but then my dh wouldn't get to weigh in, and we all know how much he enjoys that!

Fresh from the retreat with a new perspective on polygyny, (internalizing/"owning" it, rather than it just being my husband's belief), I, without thinking, blabbed it all to my neighbor at the bus stop this morning. I have no idea why other than I am a silly woman. This neighbor is low class/education, on drugs, etc., you know the type. And there I was blurting out ideas that normal class/education Christian women do not even come close to understanding. She reacts in the typical (I imagine) way, jaw slacked, eyes wide. She then shares with me in full vulgarity her big secret; she's been cheating on her husband and it's, of course, his fault. I walk away after some time, mentally beating myself. Why would I spew everything to this woman? Surely, the words fell on hard, dry asphalt. Didn't I just hear about "not casting your pearls before swine" at the retreat? I usually try to be chaste in my conversation (which is really not hard comparatively speaking in this relationship). I got spoiled by the retreat and the normalcy and beauty of it all. I forgot how crazy it sounds to everyone else's ears. After immersing myself for a while in monotonous garden work, I eventually decided that she was benign, and if I was going to spontaneously cast pearls, then it may as well be to swine. The higher class "Christian" ladies would not have done anything different with them, that's for sure.
 
We've found mainstream Christians to be the most "swine-like", if you will. We've born more anger, judgement, and fingers stuck in ears from them than anyone. Generally the higher up the ministry food chain (and therefore the more position they're frightened of losing), the worse it is. We don't hide our beliefs from anyone, and its admittedly quite a weight off from when we did. Yes, we lost and strained certain relationships, but it was worth it to find the measure of people. There were also some relationships that seemed lost, but ended up stronger. Neither do we go out of our way to throw our beliefs in others faces. More like, if it comes up naturally.

Of course, there are some more concerns for those actually living poly, especially in the realm of being worried about jobs or kids, or legal repercussions in certain states.

By the way, glad to have you posting! I too like to use a plethora of commas, or perhaps we should call them "rabbit trail road signs"? ;)
 
My understanding is that a pig only proves she's a pig after she's been washed and then returns to her wallow in the mud. Before that point, who was to know? Coulda just been a human in the mud?
 
I love YOUR style. :)

Regardless of what happened (even though it looks a lot like it just fell on "deaf" ears...) I don't think you should beat yourself up at all. I know exactly what you mean by the "retreat atmosphere" where discussions about truth and plural marriage are normal. At my first retreat, I found the overall level of conversation refreshing and though I spend most of my days in a similar environment in my home, it is a VERY different feeling among those "out in the world" (you love commas, I love quotations...I think there is a lot of room here for some mutual, grammatical respect...).

I think you are on the right track. Simply observing the whole situation and understanding how that went down compared to how it might have been a different conversation with a deeper thinker is a good place to be.

I look forward to reading more of your thoughts. :)
 
windblown, we often talk here about right and wrong, the how-tos, the dos and don'ts, but not always what it feels like in the little moments where we sort these things out, which is really where we spend much of our time. You captured it well.
 
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I think you chose the perfect person to tell, all things considered. People from her walk of life are generally quite willing to accept other people's views, without being judgmental about it. She's obviously quite comfortable with someone having sex with more than one person... She's also unlikely to tell too many others, partly because she just told you a far deeper secret of her own and she's unlikely to want you spreading that around, but mainly because it's just your weirdness and it isn't that much different in her mind to her cousin's homosexuality or whatever. In fact, this could prove in the long run to be a good opening for future conversations about her own marital issues, if she wishes to seek help, which could even lead to her salvation in the very long run - don't expect that necessarily, it just "could" lead there if YHWH wishes it to.

As UG has said, you may need to reconsider who are the "swine" in this parable.
Matthew 7:6 said:
Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.
Click to expand...
The swine are evidenced by their actions - they trample your pearls underfoot and then turn to attack you. This woman didn't do that at all - she took your pearls as an opening to tell you about something deep in her own life. Had you told the local pastor's wife she might have immediately dismissed your views and then done what she could to either counter your heresy or isolate you. That seems to fit the description more clearly.

It might be a waste of time to throw your pearls to the local pastor's wife - but your neighbour may be the perfect recipient of them.
 
I agree, FH. That was my conclusion as well. The swine bit may have been a little tongue in cheek.
 
That is it! I can't believe it! :)
I have been traveling this country, meeting people and making connections.
And you two have them just falling in your lap! At this rate you will have a small poly community before the next Retreat! ;)
 
What are the pearls that would be wasted?
Truth?

Personally, I think that we should be spreading truth all over the place. If they trample it, does that mean that we were wrong in sharing it? I think not.
Yahushua threw out an awefull lot of truth that was accepted.
 
I think that the verse may refer to wasting time trying to convince obstinate people.
 
What Moriah was saying is that the woman she shared with isn't a swine in this case; she responded far better than the "church ladies" we see every Sunday. They would have been the swine in this instance. The earthy woman she shared with resonated with it on some level and it led her to self reflection.
 
No, no, you're fine! ;) We're just excited you're on the board. Keep posting—for the ladies or for the general population as you see fit. Just be advised that the men will always be inclined to take everything apart to see how it works....
 
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