CecilW wrote:
If a man is not holding himself accountable to anyone, your theory may hold true. But if a man is actively and visibly holding himself accountable to Jesus, then he is giving a direct example of direct submission to his direct head. Any wife refuses to follow that example cannot validly claim this as an excuse.
If a man is actively and visibly holding himself accountable to Jesus, how can his wife (or wives) and kids
know that he is? It is my belief that such a man will be in submission to other men who also are in true submission to Christ.
Which brings up another problem...there are a gazillion denominations because so many men held themselves accountable only to the One True Head (Jesus) but got something wrong somewhere that caused a rift with others who held themselves accountable only to the One True Head.
All of the various denominational beliefs can't be right,
unless the world is also right in saying that something can be truth for you, but not for me. (And that is
not true!)
The Bible is our final authority on matters of doctrine and Christian living, as well as any other topic it talks about. The problem comes in because we are all tainted by sin and not one of us is immune to having our flesh get in the way, so we sometimes fail to rightly divide the Word, but end up butchering it rather badly. I have been guilty of that, and it's possible (in fact, likely) that there are some areas in which I (and each and every one of you) still believe something that is "butchered" rather than "rightly divided." (But I'm willing to make corrections as the Holy Spirit convicts me that I am wrong about something, and He often uses my brothers and sisters to point out where I might be wrong.)
And that's the key to the unity Jesus wants us to have. Listen to the Holy Spirit, and be willing to learn from each other. That is what discipleship is all about. We who are older and more mature in our Christian walk should teach those who are less mature, and should also learn from each other.
Let me share some of my own testimony.
I grew up in a church that was extremely legalistic. Their stated doctrinal beliefs are very similar to the Church of the Nazarene (a Wesleyan-Arminian doctrine), they just go to a legalistic extreme.
I was actually taught that every time I sinned, I "backslid" and "lost my salvation." That required "getting saved again." The problem was, "sinning" was breaking any little rule that the church said was wrong, like wearing any jewelry at all - not even a wedding ring is allowed! Women could not cut their hair, not even to trim off split ends. Men and women alike can not allow knees and elbows to show in public. Ad nauseum... 99+% of their laws and rules are nowhere to be found in the Bible, except maybe by some twisted out-of-context eisegesis.
So naturally, I "backslid" and "got saved again" somewhere between 50 and 100 times between the first time I made a public profession of faith in Christ and when I finally gave up trying to live a "christian" life and dropped out of Bible college. Every time the church had a revival, I was back at the altar "getting saved again." Thanks to the "altar nurses" brand of "discipleship," there were times I "backslid" again before getting off my knees! ("You need to stop doing this. You must start doing that. Don't do such-and-such...") I wasted nearly half of my adult life (after dropping out of college) trying to run from a God that I thought hated me every time I broke a rule, and spent the last two or three years of that rebellious time trying to prove that He does not exist.
When I had sunk about as low as a person can sink, I finally discovered that God loves me unconditionally. He doesn't want me to live by the rules, He wants me to develop a relationship with Him. A personal, loving, intimate relationship, not one based on fear.
If I had been properly discipled as a brand-new believer when I was about 8 years old, I would not have wasted over 30 years being afraid of God and trying to run from Him. I was 39 when I finally figured it out (on my own, unfortunately - I was so tired of fighting Him and running from Him that I just gave up and told God, "OK, take me!") and I have never once regretted the fact that I gave myself totally, completely, and forever to my Loving Heavenly Father. I am secure in the knowledge that He loves me even if I mess up. (Which I do frequently...)
My brothers and sisters, we need to get the concept of discipleship right and start practicing it. I don't want anyone else to go through what I did for the first 39 years of my life.
BTW, my belief in Biblical Family Values (BFV) instead of the false traditional family values-monogamy only position (TFV-MOP) came about because after I figured out that I had been taught a bunch of lies, I threw out everything I had been taught and studied the Bible for myself. It took almost 20 years for me to get around to the topic of marriage (actually, Biblical Covenant Unions.) As a result, I know what I believe and why I believe it.
And I hate false doctrine with a purple passion!