Okay, I have a confession to make. I admit that even though I have been involved with the BF ministry now going on nearly five(!) years, I never really seriously considered, other than in a fleeting thought, that I would actually be considering a plural lifestyle.
First, although it took a while, I had settled in my heart that singleness just wasn't that bad. And it wasn't. It gave me the opportunity to take care of the things that needed to be taken care of, and enabled me to get my 'stuff' together.
Then, when I really wasn't trying to find it, because I had busied myself to doing the work of missions in Korea, I found love. And I found it in someone that knew about my beliefs regarding marriage. I was happy with the thought of being in a monogamous relationship but believing in the possibility, though remote, of plural marriage.
Recently, though, I have become a very dangerous individual. I have found myself striking up conversations with some different girls that I never would have before, and actually generating genuine interest in both directions. In several instances, I have actually explained my beliefs in plural marriage. Surprisingly, I have seen positive response.
Let me clarify: I am not actively seeking another relationship. It is still too early in my current relationship to even consider anything beyond that one at this time. My personal beliefs are that a new relationship needs to mature at least a year or two before even considering anything else. At least, that is what I have been telling others, lol.
But, as I said, I have become dangerous. I have become unafraid.
I like this feeling. This is new for me.
For the first time, I can actually see myself in a plural relationship.
Honestly, I did not think that I had room in my heart to consider anything beyond a monogamous relationship. I hate to say that to all my friends that know me well, but it is the truth. I kept making excuses about finances, emotional commitment, spiritual leadership, etc, and not really dealing with the issue of whether or not the plural lifestyle was for me.
Now, I know that in my heart, there is room for more. I know that I can love more than one.
Does that mean I will? Honestly, I don't know the answer to that. I know that if I did pursue an additional relationship, that I would have to take into consideration all the advice that has been so immensely dispensed on these forums.
But something has changed in me. I don't know how it happened, or exactly when, but something has definitely changed.
I am no longer monogamy-minded. The spell has finally been broken.
Doc
First, although it took a while, I had settled in my heart that singleness just wasn't that bad. And it wasn't. It gave me the opportunity to take care of the things that needed to be taken care of, and enabled me to get my 'stuff' together.
Then, when I really wasn't trying to find it, because I had busied myself to doing the work of missions in Korea, I found love. And I found it in someone that knew about my beliefs regarding marriage. I was happy with the thought of being in a monogamous relationship but believing in the possibility, though remote, of plural marriage.
Recently, though, I have become a very dangerous individual. I have found myself striking up conversations with some different girls that I never would have before, and actually generating genuine interest in both directions. In several instances, I have actually explained my beliefs in plural marriage. Surprisingly, I have seen positive response.
Let me clarify: I am not actively seeking another relationship. It is still too early in my current relationship to even consider anything beyond that one at this time. My personal beliefs are that a new relationship needs to mature at least a year or two before even considering anything else. At least, that is what I have been telling others, lol.
But, as I said, I have become dangerous. I have become unafraid.
I like this feeling. This is new for me.
For the first time, I can actually see myself in a plural relationship.
Honestly, I did not think that I had room in my heart to consider anything beyond a monogamous relationship. I hate to say that to all my friends that know me well, but it is the truth. I kept making excuses about finances, emotional commitment, spiritual leadership, etc, and not really dealing with the issue of whether or not the plural lifestyle was for me.
Now, I know that in my heart, there is room for more. I know that I can love more than one.
Does that mean I will? Honestly, I don't know the answer to that. I know that if I did pursue an additional relationship, that I would have to take into consideration all the advice that has been so immensely dispensed on these forums.
But something has changed in me. I don't know how it happened, or exactly when, but something has definitely changed.
I am no longer monogamy-minded. The spell has finally been broken.
Doc
