• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

Conflicted

K

Knives88

New Member
Hey Everyone,

I was looking to get some advice. So my husband has been seeing his girlfriend for over six months now and when they first started seeing each other she had said that she wanted to have close friendship/sisterly relationship with me. The longer they kept seeing each other and talking to each other, she slowly started messaging me less. She's really nice when the three of us hang out or on the rare occasions that her and I have had a girls night out and I've told her that I would like to work on strengthening our friendship and she agreed. If I do not send her a message first, she never messages me, if she responds to me it's one response per one that I say. However, her and my husband talk pretty much all day long every day. I'll admit it hurts me and makes me sad. I am working on my jealousy issues and have done very well in making progress with those. I don't feel jealous about this, just sad. My husband does not like the way she has acted towards me but says that he does not want to push the issue with her right now. How do I get over the sadness and loneliness that I have been feeling? It's not all the time, it just flares up occasionally (like right now lol). I know I am still so new to this whole lifestyle and maybe I just have some of the wrong ideas of what to expect. I would greatly appreciate any advice. Thanks Ladies!!
 
Hi Knives88, I am sorry that she is choosing to be standoffish. I am glad your husband recognizes this and hopefully he will be faithful to deal with it before too long. I pray that he will clearly see if her behavior is a red flag of sorts or if it is just some fear that needs to be resolved in her. It sounds like you are doing your part and trying to reach out which is great. I would encourage you to focus on trusting your husband to speak with her about it and discover what is going on for her. I know it is really hard to keep giving of yourself but not getting much back in return from someone. HER RESPONSE TO YOU DOES NOT DEFINE YOU. It is her loss for not investing time in a relationship with you. You might want to consider what is maybe causing this behavior. She actually just might be afraid to open herself up to you for some reason, she might have guilt over her relationship with your husband, or she might just be walking in selfishness and wrong thinking about plural marriage relationships. All those things (or something else) can all be addressed and talked about to a positive outcome. Be patient and let God do his thing in her heart, and yours. With hope for the future!
 
Thank you Julie! You give great advice and I will continue to pray and work on it the way I have been. You have given me some good things to think about. I really appreciate it greatly!

God Bless!
 
Oh Julie I am so glad you replied! I kept looking at this post being unsure of what to say but you said it wonderfully. All I could think of to say was to keep trusting on the Lord and that I have had to learn the hard way that you will never regret being too kind or forgiving but I always regret being harsh, so just try your best in every situation. :)
 
Rainy, you are so right, that is definitely a good motto to live by!

Knives, I am so glad it helped in some way. Will be praying for you.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top