Dating / matchmaking websites

[MemeFan]

This was the most shocking thing for me after starting the site. I will see so many profiles, talk with members along the way, and hear from them when they meet someone and decide that's it for them and want to close their account. And, of course, we've had more than our fair share of chats. It's been shocking how transactional things can seem. You want X, Y, and Z....I want X, Y, and X. So, let's start making plans for me to move in and get pregnant in the first 6 months. WHAT???

I get that people move at different speeds, but that's insane for both sides. Even with the best of intentions, finding someone (1 person, not polygamy) that really fits with you and is someone you want to wake up and see every day is TOUGH. In monogamy, what should you (as a guy or girl) think if the other person started talking about how many kids you both want and making plans to move in. ...you would run for the hills. As you should.

It's a not. First, you are man and therefore have more time to do reproduction related activities. Women have to be faster since they have less time.

And fastness is sign of seriousness. If you would like to take sweet time (like 5 years) before first impregnation, you are even hot for woman?

 

[paterfamilias]

This was the most shocking thing for me after starting the site. I will see so many profiles, talk with members along the way, and hear from them when they meet someone and decide that's it for them and want to close their account. And, of course, we've had more than our fair share of chats. It's been shocking how transactional things can seem. You want X, Y, and Z....I want X, Y, and X. So, let's start making plans for me to move in and get pregnant in the first 6 months. WHAT???


A little column A little column B

I have had the people who arevtoo ready to jump...explicitly the want a baby now ones. Not my baby, could have been any father and they would not be nathered. No thank you. That doesn't sound like a recipe for success.

The good part of it being intentional conversations and then courting with the explicit goal of marriage is that one can be candid about the getting to know one and other. Hopefully with less of the putting on a faux persona for trying to impress someone. Hopefully.
Disagree strongly about discussing how many kids one wants immediately being a negative issue...that should be a core topic with potential pairing. It is not that I am opposed to meeting a woman who can't have kids but more kids is a very solid goal for me so it is an important topic. Same goes for a woman, if she is an antinatalist and thinks she likes the notion me, then she should be dissuaded asap before any feelings develop as we are not a match.

I try to use that time to find those deal breaker issues where one will run into extreme problems going forward which could tear up a family later. Lots of candor and trying to be as forward as possible about my distinct lack of perfection so there is no potential for over selling.

The ready to jump after a phone call thing though says danger Will Robinson.

Prefer the visiting and being a ersatz part of the family for a while thing far more. See how things fit between all parties involved. See how you all may work as a dynamic together. See how you interact with my son would be quite important for example.

 

[Con8]

It's a not. First, you are man and therefore have more time to do reproduction related activities. Women have to be faster since they have less time.

And fastness is sign of seriousness. If you would like to take sweet time (like 5 years) before first impregnation, you are even hot for woman?

Fastness is a sign of seriousness, sounds l risky. One should not gamble with one's family.

What is the success/divorce rate of Polygamous and Monogamous marriages?
I bet both are extremely high on the divorce side. Probably for the same reasons, not properly vetting or courting, personality conflicts not keeping pace with dedication efforts, not seeing red flags for the run of the mill crazy person...etc

It does not seem wise to rush a marriage let alone plural marriage, before families and emotions are well seasoned and people's backgrounds properly vetted. I want to make sure my wife can at the very least be best friends with someone, trust takes time.

Also, manliness should not be judged by how cautious someone is when courting in today's meat market clown show.
Are you in a rush to get lied to and taken advantage, or catching something? Almost everyone online is talking in a character they developed and will say what they think you want them to hear. You must use prayer, discernment, and good old pattern recognition. You can't see red flags if you rush in with horse blinders on.

This conversation was about the initial online meetings and early interaction prior to courtship. In my mind once past vetting and courtship, things would move faster than a traditional monogamous relationship because of the extended support and the fact that childbirth can help families bond (or so I've heard).

 

[MemeFan]

Fastness is a sign of seriousness, sounds l risky. One should not gamble with one's family.

What is the success/divorce rate of Polygamous and Monogamous marriages?
I bet both are extremely high on the divorce side. Probably for the same reasons, not properly vetting or courting, personality conflicts not keeping pace with dedication efforts, not seeing red flags for the run of the mill crazy person...etc

It does not seem wise to rush a marriage let alone plural marriage, before families and emotions are well seasoned and people's backgrounds properly vetted. I want to make sure my wife can at the very least be best friends with someone, trust takes time.

Also, manliness should not be judged by how cautious someone is when courting in today's meat market clown show.
Are you in a rush to get lied to and taken advantage, or catching something? Almost everyone online is talking in a character they developed and will say what they think you want them to hear. You must use prayer, discernment, and good old pattern recognition. You can't see red flags if you rush in with horse blinders on.

This conversation was about the initial online meetings and early interaction prior to courtship. In my mind once past vetting and courtship, things would move faster than a traditional monogamous relationship because of the extended support and the fact that childbirth can help families bond (or so I've heard).

Fastness is also sign of going for what you want, directly. So it's sign of masculinity.

It's natural to want to run to safety and slow things down to "be certain". Here is even better idea: let's promote CommitteForDivorceNeverHappenMarriage, I'm certain it will work./ sarcasm.

And if marriage fails after several years, reason can't due to vetting failures. First, cheaters can't run their poker face for years. You will know their real face in few months.

Secondly, attraction between couple can stop existing although it was strong at start.

To me, you look like some idealist. I will start a startup in fantastic market and nobody for years will threathen me. It doesn't work like this.

You can't predict future and answer is greater insight into what truly matters and increasing adaptability, not more safety throught better vetting.

 

[The Revolting Man]

Fastness is a sign of seriousness, sounds l risky. One should not gamble with one's family.

What is the success/divorce rate of Polygamous and Monogamous marriages?
I bet both are extremely high on the divorce side. Probably for the same reasons, not properly vetting or courting, personality conflicts not keeping pace with dedication efforts, not seeing red flags for the run of the mill crazy person...etc

It does not seem wise to rush a marriage let alone plural marriage, before families and emotions are well seasoned and people's backgrounds properly vetted. I want to make sure my wife can at the very least be best friends with someone, trust takes time.

Also, manliness should not be judged by how cautious someone is when courting in today's meat market clown show.
Are you in a rush to get lied to and taken advantage, or catching something? Almost everyone online is talking in a character they developed and will say what they think you want them to hear. You must use prayer, discernment, and good old pattern recognition. You can't see red flags if you rush in with horse blinders on.

This conversation was about the initial online meetings and early interaction prior to courtship. In my mind once past vetting and courtship, things would move faster than a traditional monogamous relationship because of the extended support and the fact that childbirth can help families bond (or so I've heard).

It’s a double edged sword really. It could mean both sides are committed and determined, or it could mean one side or the other isn’t serious.

I knew I wanted to marry @windblown inside of a few weeks, maybe quicker. She wasn’t so sure and took a little longer to figure it out. She dumped a few times early on. It worked out though.