It's so odd to me, kind of funny really, how we can look at the same stuff and have such polar opposite views on it.
First, thanks for the great write up. I honestly had no idea how people could read a passage like Romans 14 and come away thinking they needed to follow the Torah. I get where you're coming from now. I don't agree, I do get where you're coming from. I'll get into the specifics in a moment, but first I want to comment a little on the nature of the debate.
So, the way I see it, we basically have two sides here that think the exact same thing about the other side. On one side there are Torah keepers (TK) who look at new covenant (NC) people and say something like "Ok they're believers, but they haven't matured enough yet, or gotten the full revelation, or don't have strong enough faith yet to follow the Torah. Romans 14 tells me I should have grace for them until they get to that point." But then on the flip side you have NC people who look at TK people and think "Ok they're believers, but they haven't matured enough yet, or gotten the full revelation, or don't have strong enough faith yet to not be bound by the Torah. Romans 14 tells me I should have grace for them until they get to that point." It's actually kind of hilarious.
The cliff notes version of how I view your take on Romans 14 is that I think you're reading into it what you want to hear (as I'm sure is true in reverse). To me it sounds like you're "putting words into the mouth of the author" in the same way that we so often see people add words and meaning to verses in order to condemn poly. I'll go over some examples to highlight what I mean.
Romans 14:2 - I see it as endorsing people who choose to eat "all things", you see it (as far as I can tell) as endorsing people who choose to eat "all things already allowed by the Torah".
There are a few things this brings up, so bear with a small rabbit trail. In my experience, TK people focus on minutia, while NC people focus on concept. Not saying either one is inherently right or wrong, good or bad, just observation. Like in this case TK people *seem* to focus on the specifics mentioned of what is ok to eat and observation of the Sabbath. That's fair. NC people on the other hand tend to see those two items as examples or representations of the entirety of the Torah, because they're kind of big deals in the Torah. So TK people *might* look at the verse and say "Ok I can eat anything and don't have to keep a specific Sabbath, but the *rest* of the Torah is still in effect", where a NC person might read it and say "These are clearly just examples to show the concept that by faith I am free from the law, as long as what I do I do for the glory of God". -- Ok, rabbit trail over.
Back to Romans. In 14:2 it says "all things". That word pairing is the single transliterated word "pas", for which the number 1 definition is: "each, every, any, all, the whole, everyone, all things, everything". To me, there is nothing that implies "all things already allowed in the Torah", or "all things not otherwise forbidden in the Torah". I will cede that the number 2 definition is "some of all types", but again, it seems a great and fairly unsupported assumption to add in that "already allowed in the Torah" part.
Same argument applies to the part about the Sabbath. I was right there with you on your breakdown of Romans 14:5, right up until your for instance. It *seems* that your for instance still makes the assumption that after the first steps you talked about, once we are "fully persuaded in our own mind" that what we will be persuaded to is that we must keep the Sabbath. That's not the case for me. I look at examples of Jesus and the disciples doing things on the Sabbath that were considered wrong, and I look at the "concept" of the Sabbath. So my take away is "Rest is important, even God rested. I should make sure I rest, but not be so rigid about it that 'observing the Sabbath' becomes a burden or interferes with the work of the Lord."
To me, the real gist of Romans 14 (there's that concept thing again) is 14-20:
14 I
know and am
convinced in the
Lord Jesus that
nothing is
unclean in
itself; but to him who
thinks anything to be
unclean, to him it is
unclean.
15 For
if because of
food your
brother is
hurt, you are
no longer walking according to
love. Do not
destroy with your
food him for
whom Christ died.
16 Therefore do not let
what is for you a
good thing be
spoken of as
evil;
17 for the
kingdom of
God is not
eating and
drinking, but
righteousness and
peace and
joy in the
Holy Spirit.
18 For he who in
this way
serves Christ is
acceptable to
God and
approved by
men.
19 So then we
pursue the things which make for
peace and the
building up of
one another.
20 Do not
tear down the
work of
God for the
sake of
food.
All things indeed are
clean, but they are
evil for the
man who
eats and
gives offense.
I mean, it spells it out right there. "in the Lord Jesus nothing is unlcean in itself" and "All things are indeed clean". Also right in there is where I can look at a TK and give them a big thumbs up because I know that what they do, they do for the glory of God, and I applaud that. *ALSO* in there (16) is why I still talk about my reasoning as to why it is not a sin for me. *ALSO* in there is why if I go to a TK household I eat according to their beliefs while there, and don't bring a baggie of bacon with me to munch on, because then that's a stumbling block for him and to our relationship.
Also, I'd point out that Romans 14 doesn't exist in a vacuum. It's taken along with things like Acts 10 (Peter's vision in which he's told to kill and eat things he thought of as unclean), Acts 15 (all that is required of Gentile believers, which I believe includes me), and of course Hebrews 8, inclusive but especially verses 6 & 13, which tells us that the first covenant Jesus brought is far better than the old one, and that the old one is obsolete.