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FAQ: Helpful Tips for Single Moms

Doc

Member
Real Person
http://www.twohomes.com.au/tips-for-single-mums.asp

Looking after children on your own is the hardest job you will ever do, but thankfully also the most rewarding. At times you may feel overwhelmed, frustrated, angry and scared. That's ok, it's normal and just remember that there is a lot of support out there - you don't need to feel alone! The fact that your reading this illustrates that you're an amazing mother and your doing a fabulous job!

Interesting facts:
• 88% of children live with their mothers after separation
• 25% of children will have separated parents by the time they're 18
• Approx. 1.1 million children in Australia have separated parents

1. Take care of your self
It is essential that you look after yourself and that you are well physically, emotionally and mentally. The healthy you are the better you will be able to care for children and provide them with the love, support and guidance they need.

2. Get a life
The best thing to get that confidence back is to pull your friends in close and start to socialise again. Find activities that you enjoy doing and give yourself permission to do them. Have dinner with friends, go to the gym, go dancing; what ever you find pleasure in. The key here is to live the life you deserve and desire - Your children will enjoy seeing you happy and living an adults life!

3. Establish routines
Children feel a sense of stability and more secure when they have a regular routine at home. The simple things like meal and bed times can make a real difference for your children and can also help you to adapt to the changes going on in your life. It is normal for younger children to act out during bed times, especially if they're experiencing slight separation anxiety. Lots of cuddles and open communication can help, reward charts are also a simple way to encourage and reward your child for a non-fuss bedtime.

4. Give your children permission to love their father
Your children should be free to openly love both parents. Even though it may seem impossible right now it is really important to try and keep negative discussions and comments about your ex away from your children. Children often feel a huge pressure to please both of you and make you happy. Don't make them feel like they need to choose sides, hide their positive feelings about their father or feel guilty for loving both of you.

5. Let your kids be kids
Lets face it, separation and divorce can be extremely lonely and difficult and sometimes we just need to feel loved. However, it is really important that you do not rely on your children for emotional support and continual comfort. Because your children love you, they can easily feel responsible for your wellbeing and happiness. Let your kids be kids and seek the emotional support you need from other adults.

6. Spend quality time with your child
The most important thing you can do for your child is show them that you love them unconditionally. Spend quality time with your children doing things that they enjoy. One on one time is also essential; it is a wonderful gift to give your children the opportunity to talk openly about how they feel. Listen with an open heart and try to avoid reacting emotionally. Don't be hard on yourself, your children are strong and resilient and with your love and support this experience can make them stronger and compassionate individuals.

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