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Finances

Hi DTT,
I feel that I may have something to offer in here by simply cautioning you against the practice of "Perfectionism". I struggle with it constantly within myself. The drive to do our best in all things is an admirable quality, to be sure! However, when we allow it to consume us, we tend to find more flaws in all that we've been given and leave little room for our Father to teach us.
As an artist, business owner (part- time), employee (full-time), husband, father, lover and follower of Christ, I find that it is in those times that I allow myself to seek perfectionism rather than attending to the task at hand in a timely manner, that I find the wreckage of reglect in my wake. I have disregarded my helpmeet, allowed my emotions to attatch themselves to something rather than someone and left no room for God's grace to work through my imperfections.
Over the last 20 years, I can look back and see that my life looks nothing like what I planned for it to look like when I left high school. I don't have all the material possesions that i was certain to be in my future nor do I have the supermodel wife that I was planning on. What I do have is a Godly wife, the possesions that I need and an abundace of faith in God's providing hand.
How broken would my life be if I had gotten all that I planned for? Through the "miracle" of Facebook, I can catch a glimpse of how much fruit is in the life of that "supermodel wife" I had chosen. The memory and reality are very distant from one another.
The main point I would like to make here is that God will lead you forward down the road that He chooses and will provide you the wisdom and resources you need as long as you listen closely to His voice. I appluad you in your desire to be a good steward before marriage. Most people of this generation would do well to follow your example. Just be sure to not miss the Lord's voice when He speaks because you are too tied up in "details".
 
The "stay at home mom" thing is how it is made to be, but it's a system that works best with some type of family business for them to contribute to. Having a lot of children is also ideal, and works best with some type of family business. Basically, family life wasn't designed to be divided.

Rather than every member of the family working to build up someone else's house, the focus should be to build up your own house, together. I don't like that us guys go off to work, and children never get to learn how to be hard workers from our example. My father was an extremely hard worker in a factory. I never saw it. He was lazy at home... when he was there, which was for eating, sleeping, and watching TV. Needless to say, I became very good at eating, sleeping, and watching TV.

I find it terrible that fathers are split from their children like that. It's much much worse when mothers are split from them. However, starting this isn't easy for most of us. Which is why we need to share resources, information, and assistance in these matters as the body of Christ. Getting out of the ways of our society of debt is a major first step... but there's so much more to do.
 
sadanyagci said:
The "stay at home mom" thing is how it is made to be, but it's a system that works best with some type of family business for them to contribute to. Having a lot of children is also ideal, and works best with some type of family business. Basically, family life wasn't designed to be divided.

Rather than every member of the family working to build up someone else's house, the focus should be to build up your own house, together. I don't like that us guys go off to work, and children never get to learn how to be hard workers from our example. My father was an extremely hard worker in a factory. I never saw it. He was lazy at home... when he was there, which was for eating, sleeping, and watching TV. Needless to say, I became very good at eating, sleeping, and watching TV.

I find it terrible that fathers are split from their children like that. It's much much worse when mothers are split from them. However, starting this isn't easy for most of us. Which is why we need to share resources, information, and assistance in these matters as the body of Christ. Getting out of the ways of our society of debt is a major first step... but there's so much more to do.
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Debt is a four letter word I cant wait to be done But i am kinda of glad my children havent seen what i have done in the past to get here and what i have been doing to get out It would scar them lol. Family working together to take care of daily needs that sounds great and I cant wait. and after your post I think I understand my respect for my father now I went to work with him from a very early age and still think he could out work me at half his age
 
sadanyagci

I think a lot of men can relate to your experience where the father worked hard at work, but looked like he was lazy when he came home, and did not provide an example of hard work, because you only saw him at home

Thank you for your comment

Also your other comment about how family members used to contribute to wealth made sense to.
 
CecilW said:
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[color=#0000FF]But I'm wondering ... where can we rent a home big enough for a husband, 3 wives, and ?..? kids (don't forget the dog, the cat, the ferrets, the love birds, and the very large lizard) for $1000 a month?  Or run a food budget for that large a circus of $800 /month at today's prices?My CELL bill, for 6 phones + texting + 2 data packs + 2 data cards (admittedly, part of this is business requirement) runs approx $600/month.  Vehicles do need repairs, kids have school projects.  Don't forget legal fees, glasses, medical fees, vacation time, the cost of celebrating birthdays and special days, and will all three wives do ok with the one-house/kitchen thing, or will you nd up needing 3 houses, a la Big Love, to keep all three from tearing each other's hair out (most unattractive!)?[/[/color]code][/i]
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Yep probably off there....I'm not all that fond of math....so my numbers should be adjusted. Maybe add another 500-700 for house payment. I've seen some 300,000 dollar homes for around 1500-1700 per month that would be sufficient in size for a large family (and maybe the pets to  :lol: . And adding in another 250 or so for food would then leave about 1100 a month extra. 

If I am doing my math right that would leave about 13,000 per year in savings. Not bad, especially if invested wisely in gold, silver, or the right type of stocks or mutual funds, or even other land and property to be sold or rented out.

Dr. Allen
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Usually they all live in the same house correct? If they do not live in the same house than polygamy is not for me. I thought it would be good to see the wives be good friends with each other. It would be too painful to live with separate families on separate days. But the multiple houses thing was just a joke correct? I ask because in non-christian cultures which I will not name.... I have heard it is common to put the wives in separate houses. Maybe non-Christians have more trouble getting along with each other in polygamy, showing the greatness of Christianity.
 
Ideally one home/house would be best financially.

And if Christ is the center of the people in the family then the family should be able to be best friends and do well together.

In some places there is tension and thus separate homes exist. In some cases this is done because of protection from those who may do the family harm if the family were all in one home (job terminations, etc).

But, ideally, if possible, one home/house is the goal, especially when speaking in regard to finances.
 
Can you explain how more than one house protects finances? Is that just because a home is a hard asset and cash is a governmentally adjustable way for the government to steal your hard assets through money printing? Whenever I heard about two houses it seems like the women were not Christians and were not big polygamy fans in that culture even though polygamy was allowed in that culture. In one of those non-christian cultures the first wife usually torments the second wife whenever the husband leaves from what I heard. Not that I believe that polygamy would end up that way normally, those people were non-Christians! Of course it could it be that those "now Christian" people (indoctrinated by their new visit to the West,) with a new denominational anti-polygamy bias just twisted those stories and intentionally did not mention that the multiple houses were to protect hard-assets not to keep the family apart.
 
Nowadays, i'm a lot more cautious about making bold pronouncements as to "the ideal". Especially in areas where there is no Thus Saith The Lord.

Is having everyone under one roof YOUR ideal? Excellent. Good luck. Hope it works out for you. If someone else's differs, hopefully you'll share equal good wishes to them. But to call your ideal, or my ideal, THE ideal might be going a bit too far.

Personally, my ideal is to have my family close, happy, friendly, and fulfilled. However that works out in the details is just fine with me. For the record, more than one loving committed CHRISTIAN poly family has tried a number of living arrangements from all in one home, to separate homes at a distance to adjacent homes (maybe duplex or 2 houses on the same property), and found this last to work out best.

They've got the experience. All I could put up against it, if so inclined, would be theory. I defer ...
 
I'm speaking of ideal in the sense for finances. It is better financially if all can be under one roof as it is easier and cheaper to pay and sustain one strcuture than multiple structures. In other words, it will cost more to by/build and sustain two 2000 square foot homes than it would to build one 4,000 square foot home because of grading, foundation work, multiple roofs, etc.

As for the other issues, space, freedom, personalities, etc. that can all be other issues that have to be considered. But in regard to financial stewardship if the family can be under one roof than less will be spent in buying/building and in every day running of the house in regard to power bills, phone bills, water, and upkeep.

Hope that clarifies what I mean by ideal. Generally speaking that is the rule in regard to construction projects and real estate methodology when seeking the best and most for the lowest dollar.

Dr. Allen
 
Gotcha.

Though In today's RE market, can you buy two for less than the cost of constructing one? Dunno, but some of the prices I've seen lately make it a consideration.

(True, but mainly just messin' wid ya. :D )
 
chrismc said:
Debt is a four letter word I cant wait to be done
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I think back to what Paul says in owing no man anything but love. I use to read it but really skip over it. Now, I am doing my best to do just that. There are somethings I can not seem to avoid, such as utility bills and rent, but I refuse to take out a loan, because I wish to owe no one anything but love.

Scott
 
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