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God’s gift to women ;)

windblown

windblown

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Female
A couple thoughts that are popping up recently in my mind amidst the latest conversations surrounding sex vs. a woman’s value/utility in marriage…

People talk about sex usually within a purely physical framework. “Men have too much drive; it’s all they want! Women…saints, who are above such carnality!” are the stereotypes most often presented by mainstream culture (and imo our ingrained sin nature/enemy of our souls).

But it’s not.

I can’t think of a more spiritually significant event. If Husband and Wife represent Christ and Church, what do you think that means sex represents? It is almost too profound to fathom!

I’m a stay at home wife and mother of (about to be) 10. I do not consider myself any less intelligent, work-oriented/driven, or creative than any other woman.

So any time I do start to feel like I’m wasting my talents…it’s a good indication that I’m also starting to feel resentful of my husband and his seeming freedom. And you know what fixes that? No amount of doting affirmations, no amount of sincere hand holding and intimate walks on the beach. No amount of sharing of chores or “me-time.”

It’s The One Act that only a married couple can perform that heals, restores, and resets everything. And not the “just doing your duty” kind either, the complete letting go of control and discontentment…the release of any negativity…the “Jesus take the wheel” kind. It’s that Blessed Assurance verse kind. “Perfect submission / All is at rest / I and my savior are happy and blessed / watching and waiting, looking above / filled with his goodness, lost in his love.”

I believe you don’t get to that state of complete contentment by any other means. It’s a supernatural gift from a loving Father who knows exactly what we need, before and beyond what we ask or think.

I have personally experienced profound spiritual healing in what people minimize as mere sex.

(And that is not to minimize the profound damage “mere sex” had in my life which I believe was a huge part of what I needed healing from…hope that made sense.)

So when people talk about sex, men’s desires, women being more than just meat, etc. I can’t help but think along these lines..
 
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windblown said:
I have personally experienced profound spiritual healing in what people minimize as mere sex.

(And that is not to minimize the profound damage “mere sex” had in my life which I believe was a huge part of what I needed healing from…hope that made sense.)
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Great post @windblown! I too understand the above comment. God is so gracious to heal our spirits and hearts.
 
First, I want to say thank you for this topic. I really enjoyed reading what you had to say. As a new wife in plural marriage this makes a really profound thought process start. I do believe that there can be profound spiritual healing within the confines of the marriage bed without a doubt. Sex is not the end all be all of a marriage but it is a very important factor. There is I would say nothing a woman desires more than to be connected to her husband. As a third wife, and new to the marriage there is a lot that I don’t yet understand but I feel God reveals more to me daily on how to be a wife that is honoring to God and my husband.
 
windblown said:
People talk about sex usually within a purely physical framework.
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windblown said:
I have personally experienced profound spiritual healing in what people minimize as mere sex.
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A lot of people are missing out. And you see this very clearly. ;)

I once posted about the power of sex and you're getting right at the heart of what I wasn't able to articulate.

It is so much more than a mere physical act if people would only follow God's Design in this. It can provide for a profound sense of connection between husband and wife.

Reducing sex to a mere bodily function minimizes the power of sex intended by God. And cheapening sex cheapens our marital relationships and that necessarily cheapens our other relationships.

I could write for pages on this but that would only distract from your singularly powerful post.

Bravo, Moriah.

Bravo.
 
ASyers41 said:
There is I would say nothing a woman desires more than to be connected to her husband.
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Exactly! And I’d add that we women usually expect the closeness to come first before the sex. But this is actually backwards. How do we know? We can find all answers to our marital woes in scripture just by substituting the nouns: God —> Husband // Church or His people —> Wife. “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” 🙌
ASyers41 said:
As a third wife, and new to the marriage there is a lot that I don’t yet understand but I feel God reveals more to me daily on how to be a wife that is honoring to God and my husband.
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Well, I can only speak of my monogamous experience. I can imagine plural will be all the same problems compounded. Although, an only wife has this terrible tendency(temptation) to withhold. Not sure if that problem resolves itself with multiples of not.

I appreciate you responding! And hope to meet you at a retreat in the coming year. 🤗
 
windblown said:
I can’t think of a more spiritually significant event. If Husband and Wife represent Christ and Church, what do you think that means sex represents? It is almost too profound to fathom!
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I have thought before about the marriage analogy when applied to believers. What do you think the indwelling of Holy Spirit represents?
ASyers41 said:
There is I would say nothing a woman desires more than to be connected to her husband.
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Yet there are many women that don't desire a husband. Some seem to expect nothing more than casual relationships.
MeganC said:
A lot of people are missing out. And you see this very clearly. ;)
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My sw has commented on women on social media with a list of things that are "better than sex." We are in agreement that someone with such a list has never experienced sex in a healthy loving relationship... when it is an expression of the love, commitment, and attraction that is shared.
windblown said:
I believe you don’t get to that state of complete contentment by any other means. It’s a supernatural gift from a loving Father who knows exactly what we need, before and beyond what we ask or think.
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Agreed. Nothing else can substitute....ever!
windblown said:
We can find all answers to our marital woes in scripture just by substituting the nouns: God —> Husband // Church or His people —> Wife. “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” 🙌
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LOVE THIS!
That is a beautiful and helpful observation.
Thank you for sharing!
 
Moriah, I 💕 love 💕 to read of the shear passion and excitement you have for your husband. Sex is beautiful it can be wild and untamed, Healing, just as you say. For yourself and Zec maybe it has always been this strong and passionate. I would hope it could be that way for everyone sadly I think for some it doesn’t happen quite like that. It takes time, patience and practice 😃 definitely worth trying for.
 
Patricia C said:
Moriah, I 💕 love 💕 to read of the shear passion and excitement you have for your husband. Sex is beautiful it can be wild and untamed, Healing, just as you say. For yourself and Zec maybe it has always been this strong and passionate. I would hope it could be that way for everyone sadly I think for some it doesn’t happen quite like that. It takes time, patience and practice 😃 definitely worth trying for.
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Patricia, I’m always afraid readers are not going to totally understand my postings. So please forgive me if I wasn’t clearly communicating.

This phenomena that I tried to describe above is recent revelation to me…after 14 years of marriage. And it hasn’t come lightly but with years of much struggling through negative emotions.

It is only in the complete submission (which is not easy or fun but actually painful) that any real “passion” or “excitement” or “healing” takes place.
 
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windblown said:
I have had to deal with so much mental/spiritual anguish when it comes to this one issue.

It is only in the complete submission (which is not easy or fun but actually painful) that any real “passion” or “excitement” or “healing” takes place.
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There are certainly rewards that go with doing the right thing, even when it's hard. I have done my share of learning the hard way....and that is hard on everyone. I'm often amazed at both how hard things can be when I'm doing things wrong, and how beautiful it is when I get it right.

I'm very thankful for forgiveness!
 
Yet there are many women that don't desire a husband. Some seem to expect nothing more than casual relationships.

Yes but I am firm believer in purity being upheld especially, by those that know better. Your body is the temple where the Holy Spirit of God resides, and what fellowship hath darkness with light? The Holy Spirit and Sexual Immorality should never dwell in the same place.
 
I suppose I can let go in this regard, and perhaps even enjoy it. That might be an acceptable compromise if other parts of my life are firmly in my grasp.
 
Maia said:
I suppose I can let go in this regard, and perhaps even enjoy it. That might be an acceptable compromise if other parts of my life are firmly in my grasp.
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I think you miss the point. Submission is not a bit here but not there kind of thing. Not all men compromise.
 
Maia said:
I suppose I can let go in this regard, and perhaps even enjoy it. That might be an acceptable compromise if other parts of my life are firmly in my grasp.
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You'd be surprised, the other parts of your life may not need to be so firmly grasped when you meet the right man. I'm not suggesting that you need to change, just that changes may happen naturally.
 
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Joleneakamama said:
I think you miss the point. Submission is not a bit here but not there kind of thing. Not all men compromise.
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Oh, certainly many men will not compromise, I guess in that case we are not a match.
windblown said:
It’s sounds like you don’t really want a biblical marriage then…?
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Perhaps I have a different understanding, certainly compared to many here. Although there are some men here who are more.... I guess the technical theological term is "modernist"

Maybe I would offer a more skeletonized variant, but the part that remains would be like a Côte de Genève, I do want a christian man, and a God like man, but the raison d'être for some thing things the bible I would question
theleastofthese said:
You'd be surprised, the other parts of your life may not need to be so firmly grasped when you meet the right man. I'm not suggesting that you need to change, just that changes may happen naturally.
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Perhaps, but unlikely. I would say it is not my nature, and also not how I was raised, my parents actually encouraged me to go my own path in a variety of ways. My parents would likely also lose it if I gave up ambitions. It would also cause issues for them if I appear weak in public.

I guess I can accept that I am dominated on the sexual side of things - which is somewhat defined in nature as well ,well if we ignore things like the praying mantris - I would be accepting the Patriarchy from a certain point of view, the husband gets to command me, and in turn my projects and interests he would accept.

No?
 
Maia said:
Perhaps, but unlikely. I would say it is not my nature, and also not how I was raised, my parents actually encouraged me to go my own path in a variety of ways. My parents would likely also lose it if I gave up ambitions. It would also cause issues for them if I appear weak in public.

I guess I can accept that I am dominated on the sexual side of things - which is somewhat defined in nature as well ,well if we ignore things like the praying mantris - I would be accepting the Patriarchy from a certain point of view, the husband gets to command me, and in turn my projects and interests he would accept.

No?
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I don't disagree with you. You may never change your mind or feel differently about anything; I'm not suggesting you even have to. Just saying, you'd be surprised at how sometimes things like that just happen...
 
windblown said:
Patricia, I’m always afraid readers are not going to totally understand my postings. So please forgive me if I wasn’t clearly communicating.

This phenomena that I tried to describe above is recent revelation to me…after 14 years of marriage. And it hasn’t come lightly but with years of much struggling through negative emotions.

It is only in the complete submission (which is not easy or fun but actually painful) that any real “passion” or “excitement” or “healing” takes place.
Click to expand...
Thank you for being real
 
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