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God be like...

rockfox

rockfox

Seasoned Member
Real Person*
Male
God be like..."Look, see that woman over there? I want you to marry her."

Does that happen? Is God's will that specific? If it is happening how do I know it? How do I separate it from usual attraction/desire?

[I put this in the singles area as it's generic to any search for a spouse. But I'm especially thinking with regards to second wives. Please move if appropriate.]
 
I have certainly heard stories from friends I have known and others I haven't, say they "heard" God tell them that that new acquaintance is the person they are going to marry. Sometimes it comes true and others not. Since it hasn't happened to me, I can only say that I think that scenario is one of "surprise" feeling or thought where the usual attraction/desire is more of a "normal" feeling or thought process. Last thought, I think even if you "heard" God on this subject, I still think that an appropriate amount of time to build a relationship needs to take place.

The question begs to be asked, did you have this happen to you @rockfox?
 
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Hey Thanks for the response!

julieb said:
I can only say that I think that scenario is one of "surprise" feeling or thought where the usual attraction/desire is more of a "normal" feeling or thought process.
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Ya, not sure I get what you're saying.

julieb said:
The question begs to be asked, did you have this happen to you @rockfox?
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No not exactly. The question of the specificity of the will of God in my life has long been a concern of mine. All the more so as I feel the pull for a second wife strengthening and as I pray about it I am wondering what role if any God is going to play in this and how I ought to pray.

What got me thinking about this angle though was I ran across a Christian girl who was more attractive to me than was physically warranted. I wondered if this could be a possibility.

But that's not an odd occurrence. Men don't always see what is actually in front of them; I've trained myself to stop and see with my eyes and not my dick. I was likely just picking up on either her beautiful spirit or she was ovulating that day. Those hormones can add a couple points or more in attractiveness.

julieb said:
Last thought, I think even if you "heard" God on this subject, I still think that an appropriate amount of time to build a relationship needs to take place.
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Very wise.

In general, I'm very dubious about "God told me to" simply because I've seen so many people use that to justify violating clear Biblical instructions to the contrary. More often than not it is just feelings. But I'm still open to the concept. I'm not sure how to feel either way and would love to hear more perspectives.
 
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For me the "surprise" feeling is something that comes out of no where. It feels odd that I am thinking it, or feeling a certain way about someone or something, and I usually ask the Lord what does it mean, at that point. I have also found that I have a calmness about what is being imparted to me in my brain and emotions. Example: Our oldest son, started dating B during his Senior year of High School. She was a pretty Junior in one of his classes. He hadn't really had that many girlfriends up till then but when he did he would have them over interacting with the family. There was a wide range of how the girls interacted with family. Some talked a lot, some were shy, others didn't even have any interest in getting to know his family (obviously those didn't last long) but I had all the normal thoughts about each one. Then promptly told my son my opinion of them. :) But one day he had a swim/tubing party to invite B over to the house so he could get to know her. She came with 2 other girls. I thought they were all very nice and thought my normal thoughts about them. Soon after that party, he and B started seeing each other and she was at the house a lot. She was there for what I call Family Dinner one weekend which means all the Bender clan in the area comes over to the house for dinner. We stand in a circle in the kitchen and have prayer before we eat, before prayer my son introduced B to those family members who didn't know her. I remember looking across the circle at her and her face shone with happiness at being in our home. The Lord quietly spoke to my mind and said, "She fits. She is family." I didn't know exactly what that meant because we didn't know her very much at that point. I thought maybe my son would marry her. What came after that was much more than even that, she moved in with us for her Senior year and essentially hasn't left since then. She is family. She will always have a home with us no matter where we live. My son and her will not be getting married, at least at this point, but that doesn't change a thing for what God "ordained" if you will, about providing a Godly loving family for her. Not sure why I shared this, but just felt I should. Many times I had to go back to that moment to remember the peace, the assurance, I felt at His words and my feelings at that time about B because it wasn't all sunshine having her in our home.

I think I am trying to say, God will direct your steps if you are willing to wait on Him to show you. He will give you the "normal" or "surprise" thoughts about who ever you are to take into your family and care for. I am pretty sure he can use both, separate or at the same time. If God has given you this desire to care for another wife then he will make clear your path to accomplish this.
 
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@rockfox

Be clear in prayer about what it is you are wanting. What will it look like? And wait on Him. God will always lead us down the road He wants us on IF we trust Him.

Almost 4 years ago Yahweh was very clear in guiding me out of a relationship I was not meant to be in. We were together for 4 years and engaged less than a year. But God was very strong in telling me that I was selling myself short and He had something better for me IF I would just listen to Him. If Yahweh can tell me where I am going wrong surely He will tell me where I need to be or who I need to be with. I won't compromise and I have remained steadfast. I have had offers but unless Yah tells me, then I won't budge.

So with that said be prayerful and focused on Him. Don't compromise
 
All kidding aside, thanks @Patricia C that is a good reminder. And I have been praying some specifics. But honestly, I am leery about being too picky, about letting perfect be the enemy of the good.

But I'm also not afraid to let red-flagged opportunities pass by. I have to look out for my existing family as well.

Patricia C said:
God was very strong in telling me
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If you are willing to share, how did He tell you? How do you know it was from God? Absent a voice from heaven, I'm not sure how I would know it was really from Him.
 
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rockfox said:
All kidding aside, thanks @Patricia C that is a good reminder. And I have been praying some specifics. But honestly, I am leery about being too picky, about letting perfect be the enemy of the good.

But I'm also not afraid to let red-flagged opportunities pass by. I have to look out for my existing family as well.



If you are willing to share, how did He tell you? How do you know it was from God? Absent a voice from heaven, I'm not sure how I would know it was really from Him.
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Yahweh speaks to me in several ways. This particular instance God revealed things to me I needed to see, not just in him but also in myself. Then he met my father and my father never injects himself in my life or relationships. This time he did and he was very animate I should not marry him. It wasn't my father who caused me to end things but it did cause me to pause and pray. It was in my prayer time that God spoke to me. He has done this with me several times in my life and when you Hear (a knowing in the deepest parts of you) the inaudible voice of God there is no mistaking who it is.

He is always kind and gentle with me. He holds me close and at times I have felt Him spoon me (per my request) like a husband spoons his bride. (Not sexual) when I was raising my children on my own and really needed the help of a partner Jesus became my partner. He held my hand and guided me on how to handle situations. When my children were in trouble He would wake me with full detail of a situation. My daughter once told me that she didn't grow up fatherless because Jesus was her father and He never let her get away with anything. LOL I have learned that I am incapable of doing anything without my God. When I try to do things my way, I fail! I learned that if I talk to him and then shut up long enough for Him to respond He will always reply. Sometimes a delay (not in my time but His time) because I think He wants me to learn for myself so that I really learn it. If God always handed me the answers right when I asked, i would get lazy, expect the right answers all the time, rely on on the messenger instead of Him. I would never learn to quiet my spirit and just Rest In Him. I would have no cause for faith, I would never understand patience, I would be a spoiled brat. I know I am loved by my heavenly Father and I trust Him to never guide me down a wrong path.

I hope this helps you and answers your question.
 
julieb said:
For me the "surprise" feeling is something that comes out of no where. It feels odd that I am thinking it, or feeling a certain way about someone or something, and I usually ask the Lord what does it mean, at that point. I have also found that I have a calmness about what is being imparted to me in my brain and emotions. Example: Our oldest son, started dating B during his Senior year of High School. She was a pretty Junior in one of his classes. He hadn't really had that many girlfriends up till then but when he did he would have them over interacting with the family. There was a wide range of how the girls interacted with family. Some talked a lot, some were shy, others didn't even have any interest in getting to know his family (obviously those didn't last long) but I had all the normal thoughts about each one. Then promptly told my son my opinion of them. :) But one day he had a swim/tubing party to invite B over to the house so he could get to know her. She came with 2 other girls. I thought they were all very nice and thought my normal thoughts about them. Soon after that party, he and B started seeing each other and she was at the house a lot. She was there for what I call Family Dinner one weekend which means all the Bender clan in the area comes over to the house for dinner. We stand in a circle in the kitchen and have prayer before we eat, before prayer my son introduced B to those family members who didn't know her. I remember looking across the circle at her and her face shone with happiness at being in our home. The Lord quietly spoke to my mind and said, "She fits. She is family." I didn't know exactly what that meant because we didn't know her very much at that point. I thought maybe my son would marry her. What came after that was much more than even that, she moved in with us for her Senior year and essentially hasn't left since then. She is family. She will always have a home with us no matter where we live. My son and her will not be getting married, at least at this point, but that doesn't change a thing for what God "ordained" if you will, about providing a Godly loving family for her. Not sure why I shared this, but just felt I should. Many times I had to go back to that moment to remember the peace, the assurance, I felt at His words and my feelings at that time about B because it wasn't all sunshine having her in our home.

I think I am trying to say, God will direct your steps if you are willing to wait on Him to show you. He will give you the "normal" or "surprise" thoughts about who ever you are to take into your family and care for. I am pretty sure he can use both, separate or at the same time. If God has given you this desire to care for another wife then he will make clear your path to accomplish this.
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Epic post! This needs uber like button.

I had a similar thought recently. My oldest son is too young to marry too, but we recently saw he and a girl from one of his school activities interacting. My wife and I looked at each other immediately and said, "Wouldn't she be such a great pick for him in the future?" Not sure she is a believer, but she just had that "it" thing for both of us. First time that's happened.
 
Another perspective from the archives...

CecilW said:
Personally weighing in:

"My God shall supply all your needs..." Phil 4:19

Is a wife a need? God apparently thought so, and Personally got involved in Gen 2. He says a wife is a blessing from the Lord in Prov 18 & 19. He reiterates His Personal involvement in Ps 68, when He says that HE sets the solitary into families.

And finally, He promises, with a mild condition in Ps 37:4, that if you will delight thyself in Him, something that we OUGHT to do anyway and many find absurdly easy, He WILL GIVE you the desires of your heart.

Some interpret that to mean "He will give you what you desire." Others interpret it to mean "He will give you the desire for what you ought to have/get."

Either way works for me! It is so easy to cover both bases by asking Him to EITHER provide what you desire OR change the desire, so that it will no longer interfere with your life making you and others miserable or angry.

Having said that, I know of no practical instances of God or a Holy Angel saying to a single (or married, for that matter :lol: ) woman as she walked past a random stranger, "See that feller that you've never laid eyes on before? You are 'posed to marry him and become his 2nd (3rd, 4th, ...) PM wife! Shocked? DEAL with it." :eek: Not that He couldn't ... :roll:

Instead, He seems to establish human relationships and some sort of human involvement in the process. Eg. Ruth & Boaz, and my 2nd wife & myself.

( In our case, a woman with no particular knowledge of or interest in PM met one of my friends (and, at that time an admirer, tho the relationship later went awry :cry: ) on the internet. He taught her about Biblical PM and she accepted it, although there were reasons why she was not a good match for his family. Then he sicced her on me, :eek: :lol: telling HER that I'd be a good husband for her, and telling ME only that she needed someone to talk to and he didn't have time. We have had a marriage with good times and bad, but I remain convinced that it was ultimately at God's direction. And while the marriage is on hiatus at present, who knows what God will accomplish in future? :D Prayers continue on both of our parts. )
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ZecAustin said:
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Man this makes me wanna go for a walk and take it all in. That song was popular when I used to go to a disco called the Saratoga Trunk in Redmond, Washington before Microsoft even existed. When I go for walks here I feel kind of the same way as I did way back then walking through the disco only better because something actually came of me after the polyester and three piece suits.
 
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