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Going Beyond Agreeing to Disagree

Keith Martin

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Male
Not sure if this will generate general agreement or if it will be experienced as jamming a stick in a hornet's nest:

Isn't it the case that the masculine approach to disagreement is to work towards creating common ground? Tempers may flare, and sparks may fly as iron sharpens iron, but the collective masculine intention is to create common ground, which is to come together.

Isn't staying stuck in focusing on proving one is right in a given matter much more of a feminine approach to disagreement?

And isn't that part of the Big Picture pointing toward why women need our covering? Can we adequately provide that covering if we allow ourselves to be stuck in the realm of needing to be right?
 
I think that each man being convinced in his own mind is the very image of every man being the priest in his own home.
It points out the reality that a woman who is in the process of choosing a covering better be able to see beyond his charm and his bank account.

The reason that I fight so hard about some truths is that I don’t want there to be only one opinion represented.
I’m happy to agree to disagree if only each side would be willing to state their beliefs and walk away from the discussion.

What are a man’s choices if we cannot agree?
To either give up his beliefs or to stay stuck in them.
I’m perfectly happy to stay stuck in what I believe the truth to be.

A typical female response is that you aren’t listening to me if you don’t agree with me. Heaven forbid we start throwing that around.

Edit: We aren’t generic and shouldn’t strive to be.
If we all walk towards Yah, our paths will converge and it won’t involve attempting to agree.
 
@Keith Martin What are real options if you can't convince another person?

1. Beat him/her
2. Agree to disagree

There is always possibility to find areas of agreement. But more important is what to do with areas where such agreement doesn't exist.
 
There is always possibility to find areas of agreement. But more important is what to do with areas where such agreement doesn't exist.
It's those points of disagreement that become the problem areas in our relationships, and sometimes result in broken relationships. And that's sad.
 
I think setting is very important to what approach men use. For example, the Founding Fathers did not agree on everything, but they knew the Declaration had to be unanimous, so they compromised and the United States was formed.

People should have values they won't budge on no matter what, but beyond those foundations I think compromise for the sake of the "weaker brother" (1 Cor. 8) is profitable and maybe even required. A congregation will never survive if everyone refuses to give on their opinions.
 
John 14:26 tells us the Holy Spirit will teach us ALL things. If we believe someone is in grave error we should rebuke them with the word of God, and then allow Yah to set then straight and pray for that person. Who are we to judge another servant of the same master, for we will all stand before the Bema seat. I however do hold to warning a divisive person once, then twice, and then removing him from the assembly. Here is good instructions for our behavior as bondservants.

2nd Timothy

22and the youthful lusts flee thou, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace, with those calling upon the Lord out of a pure heart;

23and the foolish and uninstructed questions be avoiding, having known that they beget strife,

24and a servant of the Lord it behoveth not to strive, but to be gentle unto all, apt to teach, patient under evil,

25in meekness instructing those opposing -- if perhaps God may give to them repentance to an acknowledging of the truth,

26and they may awake out of the devil's snare, having been caught by him at his will.
 
John 14:26 tells us the Holy Spirit will teach us ALL things. If we believe someone is in grave error we should rebuke them with the word of God, and then allow Yah to set then straight and pray for that person. Who are we to judge another servant of the same master, for we will all stand before the Bema seat. I however do hold to warning a divisive person once, then twice, and then removing him from the assembly. Here is good instructions for our behavior as bondservants.

2nd Timothy

22and the youthful lusts flee thou, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace, with those calling upon the Lord out of a pure heart;

23and the foolish and uninstructed questions be avoiding, having known that they beget strife,

24and a servant of the Lord it behoveth not to strive, but to be gentle unto all, apt to teach, patient under evil,

25in meekness instructing those opposing -- if perhaps God may give to them repentance to an acknowledging of the truth,

26and they may awake out of the devil's snare, having been caught by him at his will.
I should also add this is to be applied to doctrinal errors not living in sin. We have instructions dor that in Matthew and 1st Corinthians
 
Men DO battle, but a man that battles alone is soon defeated. It is also not reasonable to think that around every round table every Knight, Solider, or Genaral agreed on the battle plan from the start. Therefore at these moments some men had to agree with an opposing argument, at least long enough to implement the battle plan. In the end the result of the battle will dictate whom had the best way forward.
I had a good conversation with a brother at the retreat, that changed my mind. I could have been unwilling to budge instead I kept an open mind and learned = grew as a man. To say I am full of testosterone is an understatement, so to be moved on an opinion I have to be shown (educated) about details I didn’t know or didn’t think had as much of a bareing as they did.
So I agree that in some areas a man is WISE not to be moved from his stance. Other times it is foolish not to learn and grow.
None of that means anything to anybody but me, at least you know me a little bit better.
In his service
Jack
 
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