Hello, y'all!
First, allow me to thank all of the staff members who are part of this ministry for their work. It has already blessed me in so many ways even though I just recently found the site.
Writing from east Columbus where I am fortunate to have a wonderful wife of almost 4 years and a 1-year-old son. Wifey is 28 years old while I'm the oldest of the bunch at 30 - she has yet to catch up. My current job allows her to stay home with our boy which is what we were hoping for during the pregnancy. The Lord has been very generous in that respect along with so many others. Speaking of the Lord, He revealed His mercy to me around 23 and my wife when she was 23 as well. I can’t name a specific date for when He claimed me as His own but the Gospel hit like a ton of bricks one day and He hasn’t let go since (though there was tons of prepping He was doing in my heart way before then that hindsight now reveals). Also, we are currently getting plugged into a local church body here in our neighborhood.
Now to the meat of this intro – marriage. It’s no accident that I stumbled upon this place nor is it a coincidence that y’all are doing this work and creating this community. It all started when I began reading the Bible front-to-cover last fall to see exactly what it had to say on marriage and roles for men/women. I was tired of not knowing for myself and basing my marriage relationship beliefs mostly on what pastors, church family and even culture had to say on the matter. It was time to stand on my own convictions from what God had revealed in His Word.
I had recently read another blog that discussed how having multiple wives was not sinful in the slightest, but rather, Biblical. Though I had grown up, like most of us, being told it was wrong and these kinds of people were perverted and evil, it really opened my eyes and shifted my perspective. Unfortunately, some other life stuff happened and I really didn’t focus on the subject anymore for a couple of months. However, during my readings in Genesis on Jacob’s 4 wives, it hit me right in between the eyes, “Where is the condemnation for this???” The fact is, there is none and that reignited my search to find the truth if this is really evil or not. Thus, Biblical Families shows up and I start reading, and reading, and reading and reading. Some of the scripture references were already familiar to me but many I had just completely glossed over in years of previous Bible reading.
Who knew that monogamy wasn’t the Biblical standard? Who knew that laws/commands on marriage are the same for a man with one wife as a man with multiple? Who knew that the marriage laws in the Old Testament stand the same today as they did before and during Jesus’ days on earth? Who knew that a wife doesn’t own her husband as a husband owns his wife (how can the head of the wife/family be owned by the one under his headship)? Who would’ve guessed just how much my perception of a “godly marriage” was influenced and sustained by culture as opposed to the very Word of God? I could go on and on. Fact is, my beliefs have been challenged and scripture has won (which it always should)!
Lastly, so I don’t keep babbling, I have brought this subject up to my wife on multiple occasions over the past 10 months. It started out where I conveyed that I no longer believed this was sinful and eventually shared that I wanted to take another wife. As you can already guess, this was not welcome news and disturbed her very much. She has asked questions and I’ve answered them honestly as to the “why” behind this desire. It’s not just for sex because that would be a fool’s errand to pursue another wife solely for amorous gratification. The best way I can describe it is that I want to expand my role as a husband, I want to be able to love another woman(physically/emotionally), I want to be able to father more children, I want to have a big family and leave behind a Godly legacy and I want to see what kind of man I’ve yet to become. Today, in short, my wife understands this isn’t because she doesn’t “measure up” or that I don’t love her anymore and am going to do something rash by “chasing down some other woman right now.” On the contrary, if this is ever going to happen then I want her by my side and not against me. Currently, this subject has now been quieted as I’ve shared my heart along with this site and the scriptures I’ve found so she can examine the evidence in her own time. So, for now, I’m asking the Lord for provision in His timing and striving to be the husband I’m called to be in the meantime.
Thanks for putting up with my long-windedness. I eagerly anticipate getting to know y’all!
First, allow me to thank all of the staff members who are part of this ministry for their work. It has already blessed me in so many ways even though I just recently found the site.
Writing from east Columbus where I am fortunate to have a wonderful wife of almost 4 years and a 1-year-old son. Wifey is 28 years old while I'm the oldest of the bunch at 30 - she has yet to catch up. My current job allows her to stay home with our boy which is what we were hoping for during the pregnancy. The Lord has been very generous in that respect along with so many others. Speaking of the Lord, He revealed His mercy to me around 23 and my wife when she was 23 as well. I can’t name a specific date for when He claimed me as His own but the Gospel hit like a ton of bricks one day and He hasn’t let go since (though there was tons of prepping He was doing in my heart way before then that hindsight now reveals). Also, we are currently getting plugged into a local church body here in our neighborhood.
Now to the meat of this intro – marriage. It’s no accident that I stumbled upon this place nor is it a coincidence that y’all are doing this work and creating this community. It all started when I began reading the Bible front-to-cover last fall to see exactly what it had to say on marriage and roles for men/women. I was tired of not knowing for myself and basing my marriage relationship beliefs mostly on what pastors, church family and even culture had to say on the matter. It was time to stand on my own convictions from what God had revealed in His Word.
I had recently read another blog that discussed how having multiple wives was not sinful in the slightest, but rather, Biblical. Though I had grown up, like most of us, being told it was wrong and these kinds of people were perverted and evil, it really opened my eyes and shifted my perspective. Unfortunately, some other life stuff happened and I really didn’t focus on the subject anymore for a couple of months. However, during my readings in Genesis on Jacob’s 4 wives, it hit me right in between the eyes, “Where is the condemnation for this???” The fact is, there is none and that reignited my search to find the truth if this is really evil or not. Thus, Biblical Families shows up and I start reading, and reading, and reading and reading. Some of the scripture references were already familiar to me but many I had just completely glossed over in years of previous Bible reading.
Who knew that monogamy wasn’t the Biblical standard? Who knew that laws/commands on marriage are the same for a man with one wife as a man with multiple? Who knew that the marriage laws in the Old Testament stand the same today as they did before and during Jesus’ days on earth? Who knew that a wife doesn’t own her husband as a husband owns his wife (how can the head of the wife/family be owned by the one under his headship)? Who would’ve guessed just how much my perception of a “godly marriage” was influenced and sustained by culture as opposed to the very Word of God? I could go on and on. Fact is, my beliefs have been challenged and scripture has won (which it always should)!
Lastly, so I don’t keep babbling, I have brought this subject up to my wife on multiple occasions over the past 10 months. It started out where I conveyed that I no longer believed this was sinful and eventually shared that I wanted to take another wife. As you can already guess, this was not welcome news and disturbed her very much. She has asked questions and I’ve answered them honestly as to the “why” behind this desire. It’s not just for sex because that would be a fool’s errand to pursue another wife solely for amorous gratification. The best way I can describe it is that I want to expand my role as a husband, I want to be able to love another woman(physically/emotionally), I want to be able to father more children, I want to have a big family and leave behind a Godly legacy and I want to see what kind of man I’ve yet to become. Today, in short, my wife understands this isn’t because she doesn’t “measure up” or that I don’t love her anymore and am going to do something rash by “chasing down some other woman right now.” On the contrary, if this is ever going to happen then I want her by my side and not against me. Currently, this subject has now been quieted as I’ve shared my heart along with this site and the scriptures I’ve found so she can examine the evidence in her own time. So, for now, I’m asking the Lord for provision in His timing and striving to be the husband I’m called to be in the meantime.
Thanks for putting up with my long-windedness. I eagerly anticipate getting to know y’all!
