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hello from georgia

L

lilgrace1980

New Member
Hello all. My name is amanda, and my husband and i just found out about christian plural marriage. Amazingly it was i who brought the discovery to my husband. We are just now researching and learning through the bible, internet, and open conversations with each other that we feel that we are being led to this family dinamic. We even have a young woman, who is a close friend of mine, that is completely on the same page as us. It just seems that everything is just moving so smoothly to come together. My husband and i have been praying a lot about this, and feel it is the life for us, but where do you start ? How do you know that you are emotiobally ready ? I want this lifestyle, and feel its a blessing that both my husband and good friend want it as well. But im scared for us to rush. Any advice ?
 
Hello Amanda and welcome!
As counterintuitive as it might seem, it's actually quite common that the wife is the one to bring it up. My advice would be patience and lots of prayer as you both evaluate such a decision. Joining the ladies on Tuesday nights in the chat room would be a great place to get advice on the practicalities of PM for both you and this other young lady. Also, I strongly advise that your husband join the boards as well.

Family and outside community pressures are something to consider aside from the internal struggles you may face. The road may not be easy, but many will tell you that it is worth the fight. May God bless and guide you all.

-Will
 
I have actually approached some of my family, the ones that I am really close to, and they have been very positive in their reactions. Some dont understand, but are willing to be open minded. My mom was the one I was really worried about, but I prayed about it and just let God lead me. The opportunity and the words just came easy, and my mother was very positive in her reaction, if not even slightly supportive. It was a major weight off my shoulders. She is curious and willing to pray about it and read her bible concerning the topic. I am very happy about the reactions of the few people in my family that we chose to tell. We will continue to pray and seek Gods direction in all of things. I will definitely suggest this site to my husband, because I know he has a lot of questions. Thank you for your response. :D
 
wow
you have been quite blessed in the response from your family :D
may they continue to be a blessing!
 
lilgrace1980 said:
Hello all. My name is amanda, and my husband and i just found out about christian plural marriage.
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Hello and welcome :) Look around - there is an overwhelming amount of information, but it is all (well most) good stuff :)


lilgrace1980 said:
How do you know that you are emotiobally ready?
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Well....you know how when you bring the baby home from the hospital and you feel completely confident in your parenting abilities??? lol....the short answer is that you are not emotionally ready. None of us are/were. We thought we were, we thought we did everything to prepare, but poly will challenge you and make you grow in ways you could never imagine or anticipate. Truthfully - I think it would be more worrying if you believed you were ready. The fact that you question it shows a very mature self-knowledge that will help you immensely.


lilgrace1980 said:
Any advice ?
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1) If you can make it into women's chat on a Tuesday night that would be great (go to the "forum" tab at the top and that will take you to the chat room).

2) Feel free to post questions as they come up.

3) Read as much as you can to learn from others mistakes. It does help some - it allows you to move on to make new and unique mistakes of your own :) The truth is that most people want things to be perfect. Nobody expects monogamous relationships to be perfect, especially in the beginning and yet at the first sign of trouble in a poly relationship for some reason it is treated as an abject failure. The reality is that making mistakes/missteps and communicating your way through them is part of the process of growing and learning what God has to teach you.

Nice to meet you and look forward to getting to know you more.
 
So glad to have you guys here. Hope you are encouraged and challenged through this site.

The fact that you question it shows a very mature self-knowledge that will help you immensely.
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Love this, I am going to steal it! :D
 
Welcome
 
Dear Amanda,

You seem to be well named, that is, "loving and worthy to be loved." I so appreciate the tenderness and "teachable-ness" (if I may coin a word," of your heart.

Eternitee speaks with wisdom when she says that the plural lifestyle will challenge you in ways nothing else will, but it is worth it. If I were to say anything, and that is in general and not to contradict a powerful personal leading, it would be to not rush. Take your time, grow together, pray together, ask tons and tons of questions of each other, and build your relationship. The fact that your family is so supportive is unheard of and refreshing. Enjoy that!

We are all ready to give you support, and I hope to see you on the chat and at conferences.

Blessings to you and your emerging family,
ali :D
 
Amanda,

It is refreshing to hear of an instance in which family are so supportive as yours is!

It seems to be that most of us here have the same advice: don't rush anything barring a very strong leading from the Lord. If I may add a piece to that, I would say make sure that you are all committed to making this work BEFORE you enter into it. There are so many who rush into this without knowing each other's heart and how committed each person is to making things work.

Monogamous marriage is difficult to be sure. But polygyny is even more difficult. The things you had to learn about each other the first go around will be multiplied by several times as you move into this phase of your marriage. It will enrich it, but I will assure you that there will also be hard trials as you go. That is not to discourage you in any way, for anything that is worth doing isn't always a cake walk. Your first marriage wasn't, and this won't be either.

Remain committed to one another, to the Lord, and reach out for help. In order for this to work, you must be totally and completely lost in Him. As the writer of Proverbs said "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Wait upon the Lord and His timing dear one!

Please join us on Tuesday nights for the Ladies' Chat at 7:30 pm Eastern time.

In His Grace,

CB
 
Thank you all for your responses. I definitely want to join the Tuesdays ladies chat because I do have some questions. I do feel led, but I do have moments where I wonder if im crazy to want this kind of family, or be okay with sharing my husband lol. I mean who would be okay with that; this is what I ask myself. I ask myself if this makes me abnormal. But when I pray about it, talk to my husband, my friend, my family, and when I read my bible I am at peace about it. I think to much some times though. How do u get past those moments?
 
normal means average, lukewarm
since YHWH said "So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth."
why would anyone want to be "normal"?

although you are very normal with the rest of us abnormal ones ;)
 
lol...I actually don't share. He is 100% my husband, 100% of the time - even when he is not with me :)
 
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