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how do I spent time and get to know a future 2nd wife

J

Justin32

New Member
Hi, I thought that I would post a new subject.
My Question is this, If I am already married to my 1st Wife and we have found the possible future 2nd Wife, then how do I or we go about getting to know her better,etc.
Do I go out on Dates with her alone or should my 1st Wife be included some of the time or all of the time? I have lots of Questions and this is one of them as I am new to this website and new to poly as well, the HOLY SPIRIT has opened up my Heart to this wonerful Truth and I know now that my future is going to have at least 2 Beautiful GODLY Wives in it to Love and Serve and be commited to in CHRIST JESUS.

I am a 32 year old CHRISTIAN white male from Manitoba, Canada and am still single and I am praying to the LORD and seeking where I might find my future Wives, can anybody out there help me with advice, support or anything.
I want to learn and be tought as much as possible How to be a true GODLY Husband to my Wives to honour the LORD and bring happiness,etc into my Wives live's.

This is a great website and has helped me a lot and I look forward to getting to know people on here, Thankyou and GOD Bless you all.
karl.

P.S. My 1st name is karl, Justin is my middle name.
 
Hi Karl,

I'm not sure how to give you a Scriptural answer to your question, since these are particular issues that aren't really addressed in God's Word. However, certain Biblical principles should apply to your situation. I'm assuming that God has called you to be married first, and then to take more than one wife. In this case, you should make sure that the first potential wife is completely familiar and on-board with Biblical marriage and has no objections or problems with you taking more wives later on, even if you never actually do so. If that is going to be a problem, then you need to know that now and consider carefully what your criteria for marriage will be. There should be no surprises for her later in life if she was under the impression that she would be the only woman for you. Communication is key early on, so you each know what to expect from the other.

Regarding "dating", I would say you will want to spend quality time with a potential second wife to get to know her better, but your whole family (existing wife, kids, etc) will also need to spend quality time with her as well, so everyone has an opportunity to see how they all work together. Adding a second wife to an existing family will be a transition for everyone. I'd suggest social events where you can all interact in a fun but casual setting (theme parks, sporting events, etc) as opposed to going out to movies or some other passive entertainment. I have no actual experience to guide you here, so I can only give you advice based on what I would think in that situation. Perhaps someone else here can share their perspective from a multiple-wife family.

Love in Him,
David
 
Hi, Thankyou For the info David, I will keep it in mind for in the future when I get to put it into practice. It sounds good to me. Keep up the good work.
GOD Bless.
karl
 
It does sound like good advice, thanks.. That is what we try to do here. I figured, she kind of has to date or get to know all of us. lol Spending as much time as possible is really good. Not always easy though, especially if she is out of town..
Oscar
 
I have no idea how to find a second wife that shares our beliefs and everyone loves each other. I hadnt even gotten to the dating part. This is not going to be easy.
 
Paul encourages such young women as yourself who choose to marry, grace5. So, "certainly".

Speaking strictly for myself, I would add that some of us took quite a few years to come to an understanding of many of the things you will see discussed here. Wait on the Lord, and may He give you His blessing...
 
Grace5
I am 44 and I am happily married to my husband. I am 2nd wife and we have been together a bit over a year.

I think that if God has called you to be in a poly relationship then he will let you know. This relationship is open to any that are called.

Take care, ask questions and by all means get to know us. We are a friendly group, quick to support and defend. Also quick with encouragement and love.

Sweet Lissa
 
grace5 said:
I am a 48 yr young woman. Is plural marriage inclusive to women my age.
Click to expand...

Grace, you may find that there are families right here that would love to add you to their family.
 
Hello grace5,

You, my dear Sister, are not too old to be involved in this. Chaplains rose and myself did not start looking into this until last year. I am 47 with Rose being 46. The lady that I am courting and who is Rose's best friend is a couple yrs older than myself. Get involve here, post away, tell us more about yourself, come to the Dallas retreat in 2 weeks or any other retreat, for you never know what the Lord my have happen. You just might meet a family here that you could become a part of. Place all things in HIS hands and wait upon HIM to provide and Bless.
 
yum older woman ... like a vintage wine only gets better with age. "smile"
 
Hi, Since you are single you must look first for a wife that will understand and support you. She will have to accept and want a sisterwfe. Once your marriage is ready both will actively be seeking for the next family member. Usually it is best for you choose a friend of you wife that she knows and have pre screened. Every time you go out do not hide it from your wife and once in a while take both them out. The keys are openess, fairness, and balance.
 
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