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Husband Time
- Thread starter DaPastor
- Start date
Brother Randy,
Though I am not in a biblical family way, yet....I could not pass this up without giving the following tongue-n-cheek answers. Ladies, PLEASE know that this is all in fun.....For you men who are living this way then here are 2 suggestions on having some by-your-self time.
1) To have some extended alone time then I suggest that you do as I do......Get a job working out here in the Gulf of Mexico and you will have at least a week of not having to put up with all your wives!!!
or
2) Get involved with civil war re-enacting as I do and join a Unit that does not allow the "wives" to tag along!!
( I forgot to add this...Chaplains Rose would not let me join a unit that would not allow the wives to tag along :lol: .....but they do have them )
Just having some fun here after having only 6 hrs of sleep in 5 days.....Been REAL busy out here.
Though I am not in a biblical family way, yet....I could not pass this up without giving the following tongue-n-cheek answers. Ladies, PLEASE know that this is all in fun.....For you men who are living this way then here are 2 suggestions on having some by-your-self time.
1) To have some extended alone time then I suggest that you do as I do......Get a job working out here in the Gulf of Mexico and you will have at least a week of not having to put up with all your wives!!!
or
2) Get involved with civil war re-enacting as I do and join a Unit that does not allow the "wives" to tag along!!
( I forgot to add this...Chaplains Rose would not let me join a unit that would not allow the wives to tag along :lol: .....but they do have them )
Just having some fun here after having only 6 hrs of sleep in 5 days.....Been REAL busy out here.
sixth_heretic
Member
I personally do not think a husbands time should be parsed out. Not everyone has the same sex drive and when menstration comes sex is not an option. We are to render due benevolence. That means when the one is in need the other provides. Parseing out does not take this in to consideration.
I didn't think that question had only to do with sex. I thought it addressed people having quality alone time with the husband as well. A family must meet the needs of all members as much as is possible. This needs to be handled with communication. It isn't about only the husband's needs. Going to sex, what if both wives have the same needs on the same days. That could be a problem. And also in many communal living arrangements, women's cycles adjust so that they are very close to the same time. I remember living in a house with a mom and three daughters, we all pretty much had the same problems at the same time.
Anyway, I think that a family should spend time together as a family but there should also be time for the wives to spend together alone, and for each wife and husband to be alone.
Of course special circumstances happen, and they must be met with caring. For instance, during times of grief or intense stress, the person undergoing the stressful time should have her needs met. If she needs more alone time with hubby then that should be taken into account. If she needs more time with her sisterwife that should be handled as well.
Sweet Lissa
Anyway, I think that a family should spend time together as a family but there should also be time for the wives to spend together alone, and for each wife and husband to be alone.
Of course special circumstances happen, and they must be met with caring. For instance, during times of grief or intense stress, the person undergoing the stressful time should have her needs met. If she needs more alone time with hubby then that should be taken into account. If she needs more time with her sisterwife that should be handled as well.
Sweet Lissa
Chaplains Rose
New Member
I think this also includes time for the husband to be by himself and to be with each wife individually as well as the wives spending time together without the husband. We all need some time to spend alone to relax and to reconnect with our Father in heaven.
I also agree with you Lissa that the husband and all his wives should spend time together also. It will make the bond between them much stronger and draw them closer together.
Now to answer my husband attempt at being funny :lol: not every man on here could work the way you do so working offshore for a week is not an option for some. As far as the reenacting goes not all women here would be willing to put up with you coming home smelling to high heaven as you do when you return from events that I cannot attend. ( though when I do attend an event with you I smell as bad if not worse than you do :lol: )
I also agree with you Lissa that the husband and all his wives should spend time together also. It will make the bond between them much stronger and draw them closer together.
Now to answer my husband attempt at being funny :lol: not every man on here could work the way you do so working offshore for a week is not an option for some. As far as the reenacting goes not all women here would be willing to put up with you coming home smelling to high heaven as you do when you return from events that I cannot attend. ( though when I do attend an event with you I smell as bad if not worse than you do :lol: )
rusty_armor
New Member
I told my wives that I did not want to be put into the position that Jacob was in. I find the story about Leah buying time from Rachael a very disturbing one. We are not usually a one bed family, except during lightning storms, so the arraingments can become a real problem. I was also not prepared to live a “Well, it is Tuesday! This is ______’s day!” type of relationship, nor did I want to select my partner by lot.
So I had to put the burden on the wives, again. They work things out, and do so without my consultation. I personally like it that way. I guess I am lucky in that respect. The women have seamlessly woven me into their lives, and the time I spend with each one as well as the time I spend with both occurs in a very natural way.
Not to say there isn’t an awkward moment when exiting a bedroom. Then I try to take a little time to re-assure the other wife. In fact, should I be negligent in that, usually the wife I was with will gently remind me of that omission.
It is a real joy to travel with them, though, and share the auto, hotel/tent on the trip. In those instances, they both seem to be a little .. well … amorous, and tease me until I am crazy. But we fall into bed, in a snuggle, and very little in the way of adult pleasure happens. We’ll just have to see if that changes.
They both encourage me to have a little husband time, but I really don't require much. The puttering around the house seems to curb most of that desire. I do like late night drives, and will get up at 2am and drive a couple hundred miles round trip ever so often. I also have a den, of sorts, where I meditate, write and take naps on a camp cot.
There is only one hard and fast rule in the house. When it comes time for me to have another wife, they will select her. So no meeting with elgible females without their express approval.
So I had to put the burden on the wives, again. They work things out, and do so without my consultation. I personally like it that way. I guess I am lucky in that respect. The women have seamlessly woven me into their lives, and the time I spend with each one as well as the time I spend with both occurs in a very natural way.
Not to say there isn’t an awkward moment when exiting a bedroom. Then I try to take a little time to re-assure the other wife. In fact, should I be negligent in that, usually the wife I was with will gently remind me of that omission.
It is a real joy to travel with them, though, and share the auto, hotel/tent on the trip. In those instances, they both seem to be a little .. well … amorous, and tease me until I am crazy. But we fall into bed, in a snuggle, and very little in the way of adult pleasure happens. We’ll just have to see if that changes.
They both encourage me to have a little husband time, but I really don't require much. The puttering around the house seems to curb most of that desire. I do like late night drives, and will get up at 2am and drive a couple hundred miles round trip ever so often. I also have a den, of sorts, where I meditate, write and take naps on a camp cot.
There is only one hard and fast rule in the house. When it comes time for me to have another wife, they will select her. So no meeting with elgible females without their express approval.
WomanSeekingGod
New Member
Okay, I'm way way behind in this topic, however I recently had a phone conversation with a friend who is in a polygyny relationship and having some issues regarding "husband time". I, essentially, told her most of what you have all been saying, that there should be some alone time, some shared time, and some one on one time. My questions now, though, are how even do you make those times (special circumstances aside)? Should it always be as even as possible? Or should it be very relaxed? What if the wives live in separate homes? Should that make a difference? And how can you tell when it's no longer being fair?
WomanSeekingGod
WomanSeekingGod
Well, I think that it is good to have a schedule, but of course everyone needs to acknowledge that stuff happens. When we all lived in the same city, but in different homes, we tried to spend evenings together as a family but Pastor Randy divided his nights between our homes. It was complicated but because we were still building our relationships we were going out of our way to spend time together. Our plan is that when we are all together again, we will share one house. Our time will mostly be together, because we like it that way. We will have date nights (and alone time for the other wife) and Pastor Randy will just alternate between our spaces. The plan, as I see it, is that he will have clothes and toiletries in both our living spaces so there is no morning rush of "Oh I left my razor in T's room" and such like that.
We have found that T and I enjoy each other's company and we particularly enjoy teasing Randy. We both like a lot of the same things. Randy likes to read and study, so we figure we will have sister time too, while he works on his studies and lessons. T is teaching me to enjoy shopping. We both like to do garage sales. We all like to hike and play outdoors.
We have all been pretty assertive about asking for what we need. But we try to be fair. I figure if I am needing to spend some husband time with Randy then T must be too. So when I ask for something special, I usually try to put the same type of thing on table for her. So for instance, If I have a special trip I want to take with Randy, then I would say, "And maybe the next weekend you guys could go somewhere." That way no one feels left out or anything like that.
But mostly, we want to spend time together as a family. Otherwise, I don't really see the point. I don't want half a husband, I want a husband and a sister. And two fluffy dogs and grandkids and a ministry and.....
SWeet Lissa
We have found that T and I enjoy each other's company and we particularly enjoy teasing Randy. We both like a lot of the same things. Randy likes to read and study, so we figure we will have sister time too, while he works on his studies and lessons. T is teaching me to enjoy shopping. We both like to do garage sales. We all like to hike and play outdoors.
We have all been pretty assertive about asking for what we need. But we try to be fair. I figure if I am needing to spend some husband time with Randy then T must be too. So when I ask for something special, I usually try to put the same type of thing on table for her. So for instance, If I have a special trip I want to take with Randy, then I would say, "And maybe the next weekend you guys could go somewhere." That way no one feels left out or anything like that.
But mostly, we want to spend time together as a family. Otherwise, I don't really see the point. I don't want half a husband, I want a husband and a sister. And two fluffy dogs and grandkids and a ministry and.....
SWeet Lissa
OK, I know that my first post was a bit tongue and cheek, so now to something serious. Now understand that my and Chaplains Rose's life is a bit different than most on here have as far as living and working conditions go. So this reply will be based on those conditions. For us, once "J" joins in, our times together will be limited to when I am home. For Rose, her time will be cut short with me so that I can spend time with "J". My time with "J" will be limited to those times that she does not have any kids at home nor her grandson staying with her. Rose and "J" will spend time, as they do now, while I am at work and we 3 will spend time together as we try and do now. So for me, my "husband" time will be when I am at work along with added time for re-enactments that Rose does not get to attend. Rose and I will spend time together as we do now and try and do extra alone time when we can just as "J" and I will attempt to do the same.
Actually, Dear Chaplain,
I think that what you are referring to when you are out on the gulf or alone at a reenactment would be "me time." I consider "Husband time" to be time spent being a husband to each wife. Meaning alone time with each wife. For me "husband time" is when he is with me and for T husband time is when he is with her.
SweetLissa
I think that what you are referring to when you are out on the gulf or alone at a reenactment would be "me time." I consider "Husband time" to be time spent being a husband to each wife. Meaning alone time with each wife. For me "husband time" is when he is with me and for T husband time is when he is with her.
SweetLissa
shepherdgirl
New Member
Exactly