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Meat I kissed Joshua Harris good-bye

Slumberfreeze

Slumberfreeze

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Male
heh.. ok.. not really. no kissing.

Anyways , Josh harris wrote this book that I found helpful once upon a time called "I kissed dating good-bye". Apparently he's getting a divorce and has renounced being a christian, or at least whatever he calls a christian.

(I don't really remember what the book recommended 100%... It's been a minute since college... but I know that reading it helped me organize my thoughts on separating myself from how the world approached sex and relationships and how I should approach it.)

I find it sad that an author that I respected has fallen this hard, to the extent of apologizing to the deviant communities for his 'bigotry'. More so I find it sad that this will be another occasion for the nation to blaspheme.

I know my thoughts about relationships and 'how things ought to be done' have shifted a bit in the last 20 years, I still have to give credit where it was due. I was raised with the intent that I would be a libertine of sorts, so I really struggled to understand what purity even was or how to approach it, and Joshua Harris was one author that helped me on my path.

I bless God for all those who take a stand for holiness and endure to the end, even in these last days.
 
I read that book when I was still single and looking for a wife, and I regretted having done so, for a long time, until I discovered the truth about polygamy. That is sad that he has abandoned the faith, but I do not recommend that book for anyone who intends to only marry one woman, because once you start dating a woman, you are led to feel guilty if you decide that you need to end that relationship, and the whole idea of just approaching a woman that you are interesting in, and proposing marriage to her, which is pretty much what that book proposes doing, is a complete non-starter.
 
Slumberfreeze said:
Yeah, I ... wait. So are you saying that I kissed dating goodbye works for polygamy?

There was another book I found helpful when I was in college, Singles Plus by Ray Mossholder..... aaaaand a quick google search tells me he got divorced too. Dang.

MAYBE I'LL JUST READ THE BIBLE.
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That's not what I am saying. I am saying that it doesn't work for monogamy, but the damage of entering a marriage that a man shouldn't enter into, can be mitigated by the prospect of polygamy.
 
Daniel DeLuca said:
That's not what I am saying. I am saying that it doesn't work for monogamy, but the damage of entering a marriage that a man shouldn't enter into, can be mitigated by the prospect of polygamy.
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I guess that depends on why it was a marriage he shouldn't have entered into. You can't build a house on a shaky foundation.
 
rockfox said:
I guess that depends on why it was a marriage he shouldn't have entered into. You can't build a house on a shaky foundation.
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Oh, I am not suggesting that you would build on that foundation at all. Monogamy just means that you are stuck with whatever you signed up for. Polygamy gives a man a prospect for a better tomorrow.
 
Daniel DeLuca said:
Oh, I am not suggesting that you would build on that foundation at all. Monogamy just means that you are stuck with whatever you signed up for. Polygamy gives a man a prospect for a better tomorrow.
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If you never get a second wife does that mean your just stuck with whatever you signed up for? If a man makes a bad decision with his first wife (a shaky foundation) and is unable to lead her to and shore up and make that foundation better then polygamy doesn't offer him a prospect for a better tomorrow. Turning a one story house built on a bad foundation into a multistory house on a bad foundation is just waiting for disaster to strike when the foundation cracks and gives way.
 
Kevin said:
If you never get a second wife does that mean your just stuck with whatever you signed up for?
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You are stuck with whatever you signed up for. Period.
The thing about poly is that if you have an absolutely incalcitrant wife, you are not limited to letting her rule the roost. That it’s possible to have a parallel relationship with another.
Not always a wise thing to do, and if you have children with the first wife it may be best to wait until they are out of the nest.
 
Slumberfreeze said:
MAYBE I'LL JUST READ THE BIBLE.
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That's so good but oh so sad, @Slumberfreeze. One of those things that's so severely lacking in most churches is the encouragement to not only read but study and meditate upon the word of God. Often it is a book by a popular writer that gets recommended about some current churchy issue rather than a book of the Bible - like Song of Songs for relationships/marriage. The trenches are full of corpses of those who have fallen in the battle for the Truth. Brothers, let's continue to fight the good fight, kitted out with the armor God has supplied, and not rely on the enemy's deceptive provisions and tactics for the spiritual war.
 
frederick said:
That's so good but oh so sad, @Slumberfreeze. One of those things that's so severely lacking in most churches is the encouragement to not only read but study and meditate upon the word of God. Often it is a book by a popular writer that gets recommended about some current churchy issue rather than a book of the Bible - like Song of Songs for relationships/marriage. The trenches are full of corpses of those who have fallen in the battle for the Truth. Brothers, let's continue to fight the good fight, kitted out with the armor God has supplied, and not rely on the enemy's deceptive provisions and tactics for the spiritual war.
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I attended Josh Harris' church for years and his book was very often treated as the replacement for Bible Study regarding guy-girl relationships.

It was very telling that the pastors at his church actively discouraged bible studies in their small groups. They believed it was "too easy for people to get off track" So their policy was to always have the small groups study approved spiritual books. They read a lot of puritan books, as well as modern authors.

I remember telling a pastor that I was gonna read Song of Solomon to learn about relationships and he said something to the effect of "well that's novel". I also remember thinking it was the most pro polygyny book I had ever read and then I backed away from the issue completely because I didn't want to deal with people knowing me as the guy who talks about polygyny. I was already known as the guy who believed mortgages were a form of bond servanthood, which led to lots of friction.

Josh is now claiming to have evolved past his former faith. To me, that sounds like standing in judgement on the word. I have a heavy heart thinking he is doing that; I hope he repents.
 
steve said:
You are stuck with whatever you signed up for. Period.
The thing about poly is that if you have an absolutely incalcitrant wife, you are not limited to letting her rule the roost. That it’s possible to have a parallel relationship with another.
Not always a wise thing to do, and if you have children with the first wife it may be best to wait until they are out of the nest.
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That's pretty much what I'm trying to say.
 
frederick said:
That's so good but oh so sad, @Slumberfreeze. One of those things that's so severely lacking in most churches is the encouragement to not only read but study and meditate upon the word of God. Often it is a book by a popular writer that gets recommended about some current churchy issue rather than a book of the Bible - like Song of Songs for relationships/marriage. The trenches are full of corpses of those who have fallen in the battle for the Truth. Brothers, let's continue to fight the good fight, kitted out with the armor God has supplied, and not rely on the enemy's deceptive provisions and tactics for the spiritual war.
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The dirty little secret, is the fact that most of the money that pastors make, is off book sales. I find it so frustrating that they promote Dave Ramsey's Financial Freedom, and the next week, they are promoting all the "materials", such and such guest speaker has, that is just going to sit on your bookshelf collecting dust.
 
Kevin said:
If you never get a second wife does that mean your just stuck with whatever you signed up for? If a man makes a bad decision with his first wife (a shaky foundation) and is unable to lead her to and shore up and make that foundation better then polygamy doesn't offer him a prospect for a better tomorrow. Turning a one story house built on a bad foundation into a multistory house on a bad foundation is just waiting for disaster to strike when the foundation cracks and gives way.
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What I said, is that you have the PROSPECT of a better future. With monogamy, there is none whatsoever. Having said that, that prospect of polygamy does send a message to the first wife.
 
Paulsen said:
pastors at his church actively discouraged bible studies in their small groups. They believed it was "too easy for people to get off track" So their policy was to always have the small groups study approved spiritual books. They read a lot of puritan books, as well as modern authors.
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Well there's a mark of churchianity if there ever was one. Reading the Bible is 'too dangerous'. Martin Luther would have a conniption fit reading that.
 
Can someone sum up the message of "I kissed dating good-bye"? I've never read it, wasn't raised in purity circles.
 
Thanks for this news @Slumberfreeze. Now I can rest easier when I put books on my shelf, never to be read, when given the latest new thing by someone. I figure if it's a good book, it'll be in print for years and that folks will continue to buy it for its value, not its novelty...kinda like the Bible.

Shame.
 
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