is polygamy good for us?

[Isabella]

Malinda, would you see/recognize the difference between practice and belief? The way it looks to me in Scripture if the Bible teaches a doctrine then we are required to believe in what it says. Of course not everyone will practice every truth of the Bible. For example, we know some are called to be teachers, and some are not. But all are required to recognize the doctrine of teachers in the Bible even if not everyone is gifted to teach.

So, are you saying: "not everyone will believe in it"? i.e. not everyone will believe it is for them or by that are you saying there is no need to believe in the idea because the Bible does not truly teach that it is a valid option and calling for some?

I can't speak for Malinda but I noticed that sometimes people rather confusingly use 'don't believe' as a substitute for 'do not agree with' or 'do not want to do'. It may just be that she meant it in that way.
For my part, I believe that most people will choose not to, even if it does not stand against their belief system, some will want it but never have it, which makes up the majority of the people seeking it. Only a few will have it and even fewer will have it successfully, simply because that is the way of the world, we don't always get what we want and when we get something we discover that the fantasy was more enticing.

B

 

[malinda]

isabella you r right i do believe in gods words it says one women an one man get married iagree husbandd is the head of the house but if the women is not up to what he is wanting we shold not doit

 

[ylop]

Malinda, welcome to the forum and thank you for your posts. There are a wide range of opinions here and diversity is a good thing. Ylop

ps i must introduce you to a fellow called steve who is a great fan of lower case like yourself!

 

[malinda]

I agree you can choose whaat lifestyle you want to live i think polly is a fantsay that most men want to ferfil in their live

 

[malinda]

srry i their life time i think GOD gives it to every man

 

[steve]

............ i think polly is a fantsay that most men want to ferfil in their live

very true, but having a wonderful wife was a fantasy for me until i had one

i also fantasize about having more money, being more physically fit, having more children, having a farm, being a better friend to Yeshua........

 

[Isabella]

............ i think polly is a fantsay that most men want to ferfil in their live

very true, but having a wonderful wife was a fantasy for me until i had one

i also fantasize about having more money, being more physically fit, having more children, having a farm, being a better friend to Yeshua........

I fantasize about a decent internet connection at the moment is this wrong?

I don't know, I think this over complicates things a little too much, I mean, for some, perhaps most, people Polygamy will not be the right choice for their lifestyles or their own personal limitations, for a minority though Polygamy will be the right choice and will enrich their lives in ways they couldn't even imagine and make them better people. But it still is only a few, less than those who think they want it.

B

 

[steve]

well said, bels :!:

and the reality is that the very possibility of poly SHOULD encourage a guy to live his life in a more accountable fashion
even if it never comes to fruition.

 

[malinda]

It is not good to do polly for a fanstay but most men do

 

[ylop]

a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?
Robert Browning, English poet, 1812-1889

yllop

 

[MarvelousMarvin]

Malinda, you said:

It is not good to do polly for a fanstay but most men do

IMHO, far too many of us don't really know why we want (or don't want) poly. Hopefully, the reasons I have for embracing the doctrine are noble (that is, good, sound Scriptural reasons) and not just some selfish "me-centered" fantasy.

But the Bible says:

Jeremiah 17:9-10 NKJV "The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it? (10) I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give every man according to his ways, According to the fruit of his doings.["]

So only God really knows a man's heart.

I do know this: The Holy Spirit led me to study what the Bible actually teaches about marriage. The false monogamy-only doctrine taught by the Roman Catholic Church for well over 900 years, and after the Reformation, by nearly all Protestant denominations, is nowhere to be found in the Bible. So regardless of a man's motives, it is perfectly in keeping with God's Word to desire (and have) more than one wife. Not all men will - and some really do have that desire, but suppress it and lie about it for various reasons.

I also believe that all the desires we have are God-given - even those desires that have been twisted by sin first came from God and were intended for our good. But unfortunately, sin will twist any desire we might have to the point where it is unrecognizable as something good, unless we allow our Lord and Savior to take control of it.

Will every man who believes Biblical Truth about marriage and has the desire for more than one wife actually have more than one wife? Probably not.

But please don't pretend to know a man's (or woman's) motives for desiring something. That is something only YHWH knows.

BTW, a belated welcome to the forum... I see you joined in May. I have been inactive or nearly so on-and-off for a few weeks while doing such things as repairing my computer network and preparing to move, and so missed your arrival on the forum. Hope you can make it to the conference next month. If you do, I look forward to meeting you, as does my lovely (and for now, only...) wife. In the Saturday afternoon session, I will be talking about practical reasons that individuals, families, and the Church might want to embrace polygyny.

 

[malinda]

we go by KJV 1611

 

[Anonymous]

Malinda, Hi, I am a single woman, considered a widow. What is to become of me? Should I wait for that elusive mate? I had the love of my life and
I was abandoned.
There are godly men who believe that as christians we need to take care of the widows and orphans. As in the OT, we have ensamples of women that were taken in by godly men. We do not know that by taking in the widows, the wives of these men were unhappy. God did not tell us. I believe it was because it was a higher calling that these men answered to.
There are some very secure women, in polygyny families, so that it works.
But, we are human and just like any situation dealing with relationships, there is going to be abuse. It takes a mature christian woman to accept another woman in her husband's life.
I believe there are two words we use that are not true,,, always and never!
Those words are used to describe certain situations and are not true.
I don't know what happened in your life and I feel for your pain, but don't let it affect the whole idea of polygyny. I believe there are more successes
that we don't know about because of not being able to be free to live that way in public. So, not all women in pleural families are in pain. We just hear about the bad stuff and not enough of the good ones
I won't go on any longer. I, for one, am glad that there are godly men, who are willing to make me a part of their family and that they have secure godly wives. I am nobodys fantasy, just a christian woman needing a family.
dede

 

[malinda]

Im a godly women to but i dont agree with sharing your husband with a another women it is sup to be one man and one women just like Adam and Eve

 

[Dr. K.R. Allen]

one man and one women just like Adam and Eve

Malinda,

Let me ask you a question. Do you see a difference in the Bible between descriptive phrases and prescriptive phrases? In other words, if the Bible merely describes something does it always mean that everyone should do what was described?

Or are there times where something is described but not always prescribed?

 

[CecilW]

it is sup to be one man and one women just like Adam and Eve

Really?

How does that one situation at the very beginning of things prove anything to us, Malinda? Couldn't it be as truly described as ...

• One man and every woman alive? Or,
• One woman and every man alive? Or,
• Only women created from the rib-bone of her husband? Or,
• Only women created by God Himself, rather than via human conception and delivery? Or,
• Only men created directly out of mud? Or,
• Only men who are naked when you first lay eyes on them? Or,
• ... (On and on and on)

Silly? Perhaps. But equally true. Why any sillier than ignoring ALL the rest of Scripture so as to base your theology on something that can be as easily explained by saying, "Ya gotta start SOMEwhere!"?

If this does not make sense to you, then why continue arguing it with folks to whom it DOES make sense? Is your husband for it? Are you seeking ammunition to use against him? What is causing you to conclude and assert so strongly that it is simply men's fantasy of some sort?

Fantasy how? The added responsibility of now having disagreements with TWO wives? And on different topics? And having to referee their disagreements with each other? The added expense of potentially maintaining more homes and vehicles and squalling kids and diapers and formula and bicycles and broken arms and summer camp and college?

If it is all about sexual fantasy with two women at once, that can be rented comparatively cheaply. Many men do. If a man looks at all of the above, considers all the options open to him, and chooses a course that is Biblically honorable, seems as though he is worthy of respect and honor, not disparaging remarks about his motives.

You say that it should be decided by the husband AND the wife. Hmmm. Then who is the tie breaker? And if, as Proverbs 19 says, a wife is a gift from God (no specification as to whether she is first, second, or ...), THEN where does the wife's vote come in? Should it be between God, and the man, and the wife? And she gets veto power over what upper management (God) is doing with middle management (her husband)? In what sort of organization does that work? Does your KJV 1611 contain 1 Cor 11:3 describing the chain of command / headship?

Lots and lots of stuff to think about here, Malinda. Sounds as though Bels mighta hit it directly on the head when she says something about many people saying they don't "believe in" when they really mean "they don't want to have to do." Does your husband, or anyone else on this board get to do what they wanna on all topics? Does he like having to work every day, scrambling to make ends meet, as most of us do, instead of being able to live comfortably on investments with a staff to take care of grounds and vehicles while he engages in activities that HE finds interesting? Does he adjust and do what has to be done regardless of his preferences and with relatively little griping? Isn't that an honorable practice for all of us, men and women?

 

[MarvelousMarvin]

Malinda said:

we go by KJV 1611

Are you sure it's not KJV 1769? Here is a quote from KJV 1611:

Matthew 1:1-3 KJV-1611 The booke of the generation of Iesus Christ, the sonne of Dauid, the sonne of Abraham. (2) Abraham begate Isaac, and Isaac begate Iacob, and Iacob begate Iudas and his brethren. (3) And Iudas begate Phares and Zara of Thamar, and Phares begate Esrom, and Esrom begate Aram.

And the same quote from KJV 1769, also called the Authorized Version:

Matthew 1:1-3 KJV The book of the generation of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham. (2) Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob begat Judas and his brethren; (3) And Judas begat Phares and Zara of Thamar; and Phares begat Esrom; and Esrom begat Aram;

What a difference! And even many words in the KJV-1769 have changed meaning since that edition was published. Personally, I love the KJV - but I use the 1769 Edition, since it is closer to modern English. I sometimes hate the way that many modern versions water down important doctrines, like this one:

John 3:16 KJV For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

And the watered-down version:

John 3:16 GW God loved the world this way: He gave his only Son so that everyone who believes in him will not die but will have eternal life.

Note that "only begotten Son" (a correct rendering of the original Greek) has been changed to "only Son" in the God's Word transliteration, leaving out one doctrinally-important detail. The NIV (Nearly Inspired Version) is even worse - it changes that phrase to a totally incorrect "one and only Son." I am a son of YHWH by adoption; Adam and all created spirit beings (we call them "angels") are sons of YHWH by special creation; but Yeshua is the ONLY begotten Son of YHWH. He was conceived by the Holy Spirit, and thus, is the only human ever who is the biological Son of YHWH.

Here's the same verse in KJV 1611:

John 3:16 KJV-1611 For God so loued ye world, that he gaue his only begotten Sonne: that whosoeuer beleeueth in him, should not perish, but haue euerlasting life.

Much more difficult for us modern English speakers to understand...

Any way you slice it, dice it, or mangle it, there is no way to find any anti-polygyny passage ANYWHERE in the KJV 1611, KJV 1769, or any other English translation that is true to the original Greek/Hebrew/Aramaic. And you sure won't find that in the original languages.

 

[cnystrom]

I used to believe in biblical polygamy so much, maybe I still do to some extent. There was one point I even desired it for my husband. But as I grow and mature in Christ, I seem to find myself wondering if polygamy is really what God desires for us?

I do not think God desires the same things for all of us. Some are born to be eunuchs (Matt 19:12), some for marriage, and perhaps some for more than one wife.

Most people in polygamy settings, especially women are so burdened with pain and heartache. Both sets of my grandparents were polygamous and the results were tragic, my parents had troubling painful childhoods as a result. In fact I as a child suffered the consequences of the polygamy marriages of my grandfathers.

Was it simply because there was more than one wife, or did the pain come from other reasons? I mean I do not see why have more than one wife/mother in and of itself caused pain. I am not disputing what you wrote, but I would like more information if you are willing to share.

I am not saying polygamy marriage is anti God, but I believe you spare yourself pain if you don't.

I agree. I think that few would argue that polygamy is easier than monogamy. But the truth is being single is easier than being married, but many brave that journey, too.
I view polygamy as advanced marriage and certainly not for everyone.

The love my husband has for me, the way he adores me, I can't see myself being at ease was my husband to marry another wife. When I told him about polygamy he said it wasn't for him, and he can't see himself loving another woman as he loves me.

That is all good and well. However what about people who find themselves in a different position than you do? How would your husband handle the situation if/when he finds himself in love with another women, too?

I believe its a painful thing to share a husband.

I think all relationships and love have an element of pain in them. Maybe it is the pain that confirms the love?

I believe christ died on the cross to free us women from such a painful burden.

I think not. In fact, he may be calling you to share his pain (Luke 9:23).

 

[Jim]

SUBMISSION IS NOT TRUE SUBMISSION UNLESS IT IS DONE WILLINGLY!!!

But if a woman does not willingly submit (other than anything sinful), she is not only rebelling against her husband, but also God. A wife that steps out of her role, out from under her husbands covering, and begins to manipulate and try to control him, she in fact is replacing him in his covenant role as head with herself. Not only would she be losing the protection and love of her husband, but worse, the protection of God with her rebellion to his word. Also, I would question her salvation, because she would be embracing the religions of humanism and feminism.

 

[Jim]

Polygamy is better than serial monogamy... marry then divorce, remarry then divorce, marry again then divorce...so on, which is very common today.