That’s complex. Yes it’s a failure in the man to recognize and choose someone who is trained to be a good helper. It’s a failure in society for training young women to be self centered princesses. It’s a failure in fathers who raise daughters to fail in life. It’s a failure in husbands to wash their wives, iron out the wrinkles, and mend the blemishes.
@CatieF was far and above a better wife when I married her at 17 (the legal age in my state) than most 30+ women. But she was still not a stellar wife.
We men need to be good husbands, teaching and training them HOW to be a good helper. I was TERRIBLE, and I’m still failing every day to exemplify my standards for what a good husband is and does.
A man can marry a sub-par woman and turn her into a wonderful wife. He can marry a wonderful young woman and ruin her.
Like I said, it’s complex. Choosing a 20 year old with a body count of 25, who is completely self absorbed, who wants nothing but her own desires met will not be an easy person to turn into a glorious bride without spot or wrinkle or blemish. It’s much easier to start out with one who has a meek and quiet spirit, who desires to be married, love her husband, serve his needs, bear his children, and help him succeed.
Is it just a simple failure to pick well? No. But choosing well is far more likely to result in a good outcome. Stack the odds in your favor as much as possible. Even God couldn’t get His first two wives to act right with a couple thousand years of effort.
) that I have talked about elsewhere on BF, but don't see referenced here:
