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Is there someone for everybody a myth?

Oh yeah, I definitely think this is a myth.

In serial monogamy there is a tendency to conceptually trash our past relationships and not accept the fullness of what they were. I think this perpetuates the problem of the soul mate, because it becomes an increasingly important concept to bring the ultimate legitimacy to our final relationship. Its like an idol that grows the more partners we run through looking for the one. If people would properly contextualize their past relationships, in general they would recognize there were times in those relationships where real love did exist, and that there was a more full relationship, and had there been better leadership and / or more submissiveness the relationships would have lasted. I don't think God ever plots or undermines biblically legitimate relationships, so a failed full relationships if the fault of our fallen nature and relates to specific sins or lacks on our part. So these people really need the idea of a soul mate especially, given their experiences; and they they have a personal reason to defend it strongly.

On the other hand, in reality I believe God does sometimes pick specific people for specific people. I know in the history of the world there are monogamous male / female couples that coupled, stayed coupled exclusively, and lasted a lifetime. If they in their understanding experienced one another as soul mates, and God indeed brought them together, than is there a problem there? I would call that a God blessed marriage and given that I believe we live 1 life on earth, that goes down on the record books and would easily fit into the definition of soul mates, without necessarily condemning other good things. Subjective beauty can be deeply appreciated when we don't feel the need to force it to a God-law level.

The problem comes in when we take that personal feeling/experience attributed to soul mates and want to legally force it others without a biblical understanding, and this is what has generally happened in our culture.

Love between a man and a woman is the proper identifier of successful relationships, and none of the attributes of love is 1 Corinthians 13 necessitate a soul mate to be successfully applied. So love could exist among soul mates, and it could exist among several soul mates in a polygynous relationship, both legitimized and law abiding relationship structures.
 
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sun said:
I believe it is a myth that there is someone for everybody. This is an idea rooted in monogamy in the western culture. I think a person can be bonded to more than one person. Would like people's thoughts on this saying.

http://elitedaily.com/dating/the-ha...-or-not-there-is-someone-for-everyone/608721/
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IMO it's not just Western monogamy, as other societies are monogamous. I believe it's rooted in the Romanticism myth built into literature, movies, television, plays, etc.

Even before eliminating an aversion to polygyny, a rejection of "soul mate" romanticism needs to go.

Bring back arranged marriages. Parents would do a better job of picking mates than naive, love struck, immature post teens ignorant about life.
 
I'm an extreme hypocrite on this issue. I don't think God designs certain individual for other certain individuals. At the same time I think my wife and I were part of God's plan so I may be a little incoherent on this issue.
 
Since I believe that the plan for a number of people is unmarried celibacy, I don't think the saying is literally true.

I think the intent of the saying may be interpreted "God has provided or will provide a fitting mate for all who need or desire one".

And I think this is meant to be reassuring on some level. What I find interesting is that although God does promise to meet our needs, I don't see them promised as unconditional. Food, drink, and clothing are to be taken for granted as providence IF one is seeking the kingdom of God and His righteousness first. That being the case I do not know that being granted a mate may be regarded as a special need that is even more crucial than our daily bread, and may be relied upon without condition.

I believe a mate (or wife, as it were) is a good thing and the man who finds one obtains favor from the Lord. I also believe that favor may be merited (the worker deserveth his wages) or unmerited, as we serve a God of grace, and He causes the rain to fall on the just and the unjust. But even so, if a woman is a cistern, there is no guarantee that a man was faithful to collect the rain that God sent upon his unjust head.

Or more plainly, even if God did provide a man with a woman, I don't view it as a necessity that the man will have recognized providence when it was dumped in his lap. And if he rejects the one God sent, because he preferred his neighbor's wife, God may indeed give the one intended for him to a better shepherd. I believe it is possible to make the most outrageous grace of God of no positive effect by the stupidity of the intended recipient.

Which is as much to say that a father trying to reassure his lonely son that there is no way he could screw things up bad enough to die alone because there is "someone for everyone" is probably doing his son a disservice by providing hope without any logic to base it on.

I am suspicious of the mindset that this saying might create as well. Someone who believes this might very well bulldoze through a number of failed relationships under the misapprehension that if there is someone hand-picked for him, that he will recognize them easily and will not be a challenge to live with. Or that he doesn't need to attempt to better himself as a person because he is assured that what he wants most in life will be hand delivered to him, without any form of effort on his part.

I further dislike it because a woman is a precious gift and a serious responsibility, and this saying is close to hinting that every man is owed a woman. This in my eyes makes his likelihood of finding a woman even more remote, as I do not think the Father (whom is being relied upon to do all the foot work) is a huge respecter of entitled delusions.
 
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