Lessons from jerks who get hot chicks...

[FollowingHim]

This is a rather odd thought progression for this forum, but I've found it interesting to ponder. It's fascinating the number of secular people who are rejecting feminism and coming back to patriarchy - but not all are doing that in an honourable fashion. Warning: The links are to secular pages, some of which teach very "bad stuff". Use them to trigger your thought processes. Don't do what they say...

1) "Girls dig jerks"
Too many women sleep with jerks, even have long relationships with them, while their life disintegrates. Jerks often even seem to get the most attractive women.
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/?s=chicks+dig+jerks
Eventually the relationship implodes. If they're lucky (or rather blessed, there's no such thing as luck...) a decent guy comes along later to help pick up the pieces. Here, we can help men open their homes to such broken women. But why are they broken in the first place? What is attractive about a jerk?

http://www.nomoremrniceguy.com/forums/s ... php?t=7571

Women are security oriented animals. The “Jerk” probably has some fierceness. Sometimes women mistake fierceness for healthy male power ...
Healthy, straight women want a “MAN,” not another girlfriend. Having a “girlfriend with a penis” – a guy who spends hours listening to her talk about her problems -- just doesn’t turn most women on.
The jerk probably actually made a move – he asked her out or made a sexual advance.

A woman is looking for a strong, "manly" man to protect her. An abusive, controlling man APPEARS STRONG. He may also be outspoken, noticeable, and actually had the balls to come up and talk to her - showing that he has courage (or arrogance). This is attractive on a subconscious level. God has designed a woman to be attracted to a strong man - the jerk uses this (whether consciously or not).

2) Men can put on a facade of this to seduce women.
There's a load of men out there who are teaching each other how to seduce women, to get as much sex as possible with the most attractive women possible. How do they do it?
They try to appear to be an "Alpha male". A confident man who would make a good mate. But they don't actually become an "alpha male" (ie someone who has high standing in society and the resources to support them), they teach how to APPEAR like one. This gets women into bed, and if they've got low self-esteem might keep them for a long time. But if they leave, or if the guy gets bored, there's always another to be found in a club next weekend...

They've put a lot of thought into exactly what an "Alpha male" would look like. They've created Satan's shallow, twisted, facade version of the actual solid male that God designed a woman to be attracted to. For instance:
https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comm ... lpha_male/
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-six ... s-of-poon/

II. Make her jealous
III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority
IV. Don’t play by her rules
V. Adhere to the golden ratio: Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. ... Three declarations of love earn two in return. ... When she speaks, you reply with fewer words. ... Refraining from reciprocating everything she does for you in equal measure instills in her the proper attitude of belief in your higher status.
VI. Keep her guessing
VII. Always keep two in the kitty: A man with options is a man without need. ... Knowing there is another you can turn to for affection will fortify your will and satisfy your manhood.
VIII. Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary
X. Ignore her beauty
XI. Be irrationally self-confident
XIV. Fuck her good...

All this is designed to achieve this: (most readers will know some poor woman this reminds them of...)

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/09 ... t-nothing/
This woman is in a complete mess. She thinks everything is her fault, because her man never apologises, speaks rarely, doesn't open up to her, criticises rather than compliments her - yet she stays with him. WHY?
- She still sees him as a strong man, and she is attracted to a strong man, even if he is a jerk.
- She thinks everything bad is her fault (because he never acknowledges fault)
- The only thing he really seems to like about her is sex, so she'll keep throwing herself at him to somehow make up for whatever she's done wrong and ensure he stays around...

3) She is attracted to this man because he puts on a show that looks something like the real man God has programmed her to fall in love with.

Even though he is so abusive, she's still with him. Something more powerful is at work here. Somehow the attractiveness of him is still greater than the way he treats her, so she sticks around. There is a lesson to be learnt here, because God has programmed this woman's brain to be attracted to a good man. Somehow this abusive man has hit a vein of something solid, so solid that it holds on to his woman however badly he treats her.
Even if he's a serial killer: https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/10 ... -evidence/
Or a pimp: https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/01 ... -series-3/
Or a drug dealer, while she's a professional model: https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/05 ... thout-end/
What is it?

Patriarchy. The only thing he has is a screwed up facade of patriarchy. And male leadership is so strongly attractive that many women will put up with almost anything to stick by a strong leader.

4) What can we learn?

Strong patriarchal leadership is so attractive and ingrained into a woman's brain that modern women are even drawn to a sick and twisted facade of it.

If God has programmed a woman to be so attracted to male leadership that it overrules so much mistreatment, it must be very important.

If we could truly give our wives the LOVING and GODLY leadership that women have really been designed to desire, how much stronger would our marriages be?
How much happier would our wives be?
How much more attracted to Christian men would women be?
How many women would be attracted to a strong, Godly man, rather than failing to notice the boring Christians and going for the outspoken drunk?
How many women would avoid abuse in the first place?

 

[BandEStensaas]

Well from a woman's perspective I can say I fell in love with what was familiar to me which was someone who is just like my dad. Women tend to go with what is familiar to them.

 

[mystic]

Samuel, I think it's mostly just talk, Internet babble. Even the stories of conquest.

My view of what's going on: Some men and women who began to question egalitarianism have found each other online, and this PUA stuff is part of the men's giving themselves a pep talk as they search for a way to reclaim their gender role. Sure, a lot of it's over-the-top, and estrogen seems to be missing from the room as they say boorish things, but that's the point: They're psyching themselves up to break from the limp, feminine-dominated role that increasingly has seemed men's sad, inescapable destiny.

What's wrong is that it's talk in an actionless vacuum. It's on the Internet, where people get endlessly stuck. (By contrast, I joined Biblical Families in no small part because it's focus is on gathering in real life.) What we're criticizing here is TV programming, so to speak.

Surely to at least some small degree these PUA machinations are showing up in meatspace, but I feel confident in saying we're not in danger of the nasty stuff becoming the new way of men any more than it's been for a long while. We're listening to a sort of collective inner monologue — which is a reality of its own and worth considering as a window onto some very widely shared, deep emotional pain — but there's no footage to show on the evening news, no data to for researchers to report from field studies, because when it comes to actual changes in the behavior of actual people, this stuff is almost entirely imaginary.

The guidelines and tips offered under the banner of MRA (men's rights advocates), MGTOW (men going their own way), PUA (pick-up artists), etc. have struck me as scattershot and incoherent, largely because, firstly, they're assorted reactions and observations related to a limited arena of experience (dating), not a comprehensive goal or vision for the self. Secondly, while reading such articles, I get a bit pumped up and excited at the prospect of re-engaging certain neglected parts of myself, but I also notice that I feel distinctly less grounded and present. I think the sense of threat, then, comes because we are reading the words of people who are themselves facing hurt and confusion which, at the time of writing, they were not present enough to digest.

You've suggested reflecting on the material, and I think that's exactly what it's good for. It provokes insight but needn't be taken at face value. And to the extent we can digest its meaning for ourselves, we prepare ourselves to better assist those who, in their thrashing about, write angry and abusive things.

 

[The Revolting Man]

I think this brilliant analysis. I wish there were more comments but you didn't leave a lot to say. While I don't doubt that a fair amount of the PUA stuff is hot air the original post wasn't about that by rather about women who are baited and switched with the world's fake version of patriarchy and that part I think is spot on. I don't think enough can be said on this topic.
The part we have to think about to is those sheep in wolf's clothing who are pretending to biblical patriarchs because they don't think they can pull off their first choice of pick up artist. Good post. Good line of thought, applicable to us and husbands and fathers.

 

[FollowingHim]

Mystic, I agree there's a lot of hot air, and I certainly wouldn't believe the stories of how many women they've managed to get using these techniques. But, on the other hand, we all know women in real life who have been damaged severely by jerks. It's often difficult to understand why they even stayed with them long enough to get hurt. These articles offer an interesting insight, because no natural jerk will give a big explanation of how he controls his woman - but these guys have considered it carefully and write down a version of it step-by-step. It's an interesting perspective to consider, does help to clarify some things.