Love, Service and Submission in Marriage

[elkanahtyler]

Love, Service and Submission in Marriage

Biblical Love, Liberty And Meat-Love, Service and Submission in Marriage

Love, Service and Submission in Marriage By Tyler & Gulane Posts & Publications 11/27/20 Dear elder brother Chuck Swindol dared to step into t

www.tapatalk.com

• “ . . . . be filled with the Spirit, . . 21 subjecting yourselves to one another in the fear of Christ . . . .But one who is the greater among you, he should become as the younger, and one who is governing, as one who serves. . . .”

 

[MeganC]

Nailed it!

 

[rockfox]

Swindol failed to point out that Jesus forbade any believer from domineering and using authority over another believer.
***Luke 22:25 He said to them, “The kings of the nations dominate and lord it over them, and those who have authority over them are called ‘benefactors.’ 26 But not so with you. But one who is the greater among you, he should become as the younger, and one who is governing, as one who serves. 27 For who is greater, one who sits at the table, or one who serves? Isn’t it he who sits at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.

Jesus demonstrated that by washing the feet of the Apostles during the Last Supper. A husband must not dominate and use his authority over his wife, but must humbly ask her to do this or do that., with a humble “please” at the beginning of the request. Then the husband must humbly wait while his wife obeys the Word in 1 Thessalonians 5:21 “Test, examine and scrutinize all things, and hold firmly that which is good. 22 Abstain from every form of evil.”

This is a category error. Christ's teachings to Christian leaders (the context here specifically being Apostles) are not necessarily applicable to husbands. To the contrary God declared that "he shall rule over you" and "the head of the woman is the man". Likewise 1 Thes 5:21 is wrenched out of context "Quench not the Spirit. Despise not prophesyings. Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." and made to say something it does not.

The wife must obey the King's Word to test, examine and scrutinize what her husband asks her to do, and if it is acceptable to Jesus and His Word, then she is free to do what her husband asks her to do, and to do it as for the Lord. If her husband asks her to do something that is contrary to the Jesus' Word, she should humbly and respectfully not do the evil or doubtful (Romans 14) thing he asked her to do, with a respectful explanation.. Yes Romans 14 makes it clear the wife should not do anything about which she has serious doubts about it being acceptable to Jesus.

This makes the wife the head and judge over her husband. Women have an unending ability to find justifications why that which she does not want to do is wrong (1 Tim 2:14) even if it isn't. Is this how we are to follow Christ? Is this how Christ followed God? Remember the husband wife relationship is analogous to that of us and the church, "Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." (Eph 5).

Rather than disobeying our shepherd let us follow Christ's example...

Bring your concerns to your husband but "Nevertheless not my will but your's be done."

 

[NickF]

Dude... that post you linked is disgustingly feminist and weak.

 

[Obedientgirl1]

This is a category error. Christ's teachings to Christian leaders (the context here specifically being Apostles) are not necessarily applicable to husbands. To the contrary God declared that "he shall rule over you" and "the head of the woman is the man". Likewise 1 Thes 5:21 is wrenched out of context "Quench not the Spirit. Despise not prophesyings. Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." and made to say something it does not.



This makes the wife the head and judge over her husband. Women have an unending ability to find justifications why that which she does not want to do is wrong (1 Tim 2:14) even if it isn't. Is this how we are to follow Christ? Is this how Christ followed God? Remember the husband wife relationship is analogous to that of us and the church, "Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." (Eph 5).

Rather than disobeying our shepherd let us follow Christ's example...

Bring your concerns to your husband but "Nevertheless not my will but your's be done."

Hi. I’m new here so I’m still learning. I used to be a very bad behaved woman and a feminist. Now I’m married to a very strong and strict Christian man who I have. But I have a hard time with submission. I’m normally very proud. Is it possible to have pride and serve my husband.

 

[rockfox]

Hi. I’m new here so I’m still learning. I used to be a very bad behaved woman and a feminist. Now I’m married to a very strong and strict Christian man who I have. But I have a hard time with submission. I’m normally very proud. Is it possible to have pride and serve my husband.

James 4:5-6 Or think ye that the scripture speaketh in vain? Doth the spirit which he made to dwell in us long unto envying? But he giveth more grace. Wherefore the scripture'saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace to the humble.

 

[NickF]

I have a hard time with submission.

Most women do.

I’m normally very proud. Is it possible to have pride and serve my husband.

The same prescription with pride as well as submission. When you feel yourself puffing up against the wishes of your husband, put those feelings down and say “yes sir” or “yes lord” and obey. It will work out if you keep working on it.

 

[Obedientgirl1]

We will often find a situation where he wants one thing and I disagree and want another. I feel like sometimes my feelings and what I want should matter. He’s normally very giving and understanding but the whole idea of submitting has always been hard. He makes it easier and I’m starting to practice it.

 

[NickF]

Ephesians 5
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

If you are married to him, then his dreams are now yours, his mission in life is your focus. How you can help him accomplish what he desires to accomplish is your concern. And if he wants something you don't want, you might be able to respectfully let him know, but the moment he says it's going to be a certain way, you should cheerfully say "ok!" and then do it.

1 Peter 3
1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; (conversation here means actions, behavior, attitude)
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

This means, no matter if he's not "being nice", you should submit and serve him so that you might be able to win him.
If you're this kind of woman, he will want to pour out blessings on you and do things to make you happy, and see you fulfilled and overflowing with everything you desire. But it starts with desiring good for your husband. Focus on how you can serve him and help him accomplish what he needs to get done. If you don't know what to do, ask him. THEN DO IT

 

[Obedientgirl1]

I usually do on most things. There are a few things I keep questioning sexually. Also I’m a career woman, which he fully supports. So it’s hard to be a traditional housewife and work full time like I do. He doesn’t necessarily demand anything but we’re getting more traditional and expectations are going up from him. I love it and feel in my place when we makes rules and demands but I’m realizing some of them are going to be a challenge and I might have to tell us no to some things. He rarely turns down what I want which I’m grateful for and makes me want to obey him more. But a few still stand out

 

[Edward]

He rarely turns down what I want which I’m grateful for and makes me want to obey him more.

So you are willing to "obey him more." as long as you get what you want.
I get it, it's easier to go the extra mile when things are going our way, BUT we need to go that extra mile even when we are told NO.

I might have to tell us no to some things.

It's not your place to tell him no. What you need to do is say, honey, I am going to trust you no matter what to make the right decision for us because I know you will not do anything to bring harm to the family.

What you've done is taken that heavy responsibility off your shoulders and placed it on his. If he makes a mistake that's ok, your job is to be his help meet.
Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Help him, help him get up, and brush the dirt off him. Don't belittle him.

I pray this is what you want from him.
Proverbs 31:11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

And you be this... Proverbs 31:12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. for him.

And please DON'T be this woman.
Proverbs 21:9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.

 

[Obedientgirl1]

That’s helpful. Thank you. It is very weird going from a non Christian life and being a hard working career woman who did everything herself to a wife relying on her husband. I have no reason not to trust him and I am grateful for his patience. I just am used to handling the world myself and having to submit to my husband is wildly new. Im struggling a bit with sexual demands as well. When he makes a need clear im used to a world where if im not in the mood then that stands. I see his point and agree with him. Retraining myself to submit to his needs and fulfill my role as a wife is still very confusing for me. I do think this community will help

 

[Edward]

Let me share with you what my wife did and maybe it will help you. My wife was raised in a feminist home, if a man can do it, so can a woman. We got married when she was 20, and shortly after that, we both became Christians. She had absolutely no examples of how to be a Godly wife. So she picked up her Bible and read about the Godly women in the Holy Scriptures and patterned her life after them. And by YaHWeH's Grace, we are getting ready to celebrate our 31st anniversary this year.

 

[RemnantResilience]

That’s helpful. Thank you. It is very weird going from a non Christian life and being a hard working career woman who did everything herself to a wife relying on her husband. I have no reason not to trust him and I am grateful for his patience. I just am used to handling the world myself and having to submit to my husband is wildly new. Im struggling a bit with sexual demands as well. When he makes a need clear im used to a world where if im not in the mood then that stands. I see his point and agree with him. Retraining myself to submit to his needs and fulfill my role as a wife is still very confusing for me. I do think this community will help

A good comparison I have often seen for the career women is this, in the pursuit of your career you will do everything that you can right? You fluff up your resume, dress extra presentable, take on the extra work and projects you don't get paid for, you make sure to do all the bosses biddings and address them formally and respectfully. You never complain or bite back. You do everything you can for the success of the company. You should treat your husband with an even greater respect then you do your bosses, serving him as his helper is now your career. His house is the company. Use the skills and fruit of your career to build his house. To build a legacy. The career has replaced the marriage and the husband with the boss. That is what you have to undue in your mind.

 

[Edward]

A good comparison I have often seen for the career women is this, in the pursuit of your career you will do everything that you can right? You fluff up your resume, dress extra presentable, take on the extra work and projects you don't get paid for, you make sure to do all the bosses biddings and address them formally and respectfully. You never complain or bite back. You do everything you can for the success of the company. You should treat your husband with an even greater respect then you do your bosses, serving him as his helper is now your career. His house is the company. Use the skills and fruit of your career to build his house. To build a legacy. The career has replaced the marriage and the husband with the boss. That is what you have to undue in your mind.

I just set this as my status on FB.

 

[JudahYAHites]

Love, Service and Submission in Marriage

Biblical Love, Liberty And Meat-Love, Service and Submission in Marriage

Love, Service and Submission in Marriage By Tyler & Gulane Posts & Publications 11/27/20 Dear elder brother Chuck Swindol dared to step into t

www.tapatalk.com

• “ . . . . be filled with the Spirit, . . 21 subjecting yourselves to one another in the fear of Christ . . . .But one who is the greater among you, he should become as the younger, and one who is governing, as one who serves. . . .”

 

[southernphotini]

A good comparison I have often seen for the career women is this, in the pursuit of your career you will do everything that you can right? You fluff up your resume, dress extra presentable, take on the extra work and projects you don't get paid for, you make sure to do all the bosses biddings and address them formally and respectfully. You never complain or bite back. You do everything you can for the success of the company. You should treat your husband with an even greater respect then you do your bosses, serving him as his helper is now your career. His house is the company. Use the skills and fruit of your career to build his house. To build a legacy. The career has replaced the marriage and the husband with the boss. That is what you have to undue in your mind.

As a career woman by necessity, rather than choice, a husband doesn't fire you for telling the truth. He doesn't intentionally financially devastate you in the middle of the pandemic. He doesn't insist you work an 80 hour week and leave you to manage the necessities of life alone. He doesn't intentionally undermine you and belittle you in order to look better in front of others.

If you're going to pour your heart and soul into something, it should be family, not a job.

 

[LDremoved]

Things aren't as black and white to me. Some family's still need their wives income, many family's on here seeking additional wives admittedly will need their wives to work outside of the household. Yet people are quick to bash working women for taking their career a little too far. I do understand the difference between pouring your entire life into a career where you're unappreciated as opposed to being in a home environment where you're valued. However sometimes work is the way we show our families we love them because we provide them with their necessities through it.

Also sometimes you can't help but pour your heart into your job because you're caring for people who aren't fortunate enough to have a family, you're their family. Anyone who has been fortunate enough to work in a nursing home, with hospice, social worker fields, teachers etc. All will understand this.

 

[Mark C]

Things aren't as black and white to me. Some family's still need their wives income, many family's on here seeking additional wives admittedly will need their wives to work outside of the household. Yet people are quick to bash working women for taking their career a little too far.

While I understand the point, I suggest it misses the even larger point.

Families seeking additional wives, who have "COME OUT OF HER," already recognize that they may well need their wives' help - not for additional "income" - but to SURVIVE. And those wives who recognize that in time have the blessings not only of a husband who understands that and more, but life as well. Perhaps for their children, too.

Sadly, women who "take their career a little too far," and linger in the Cesspool Sodom Cities just a li'l too long, may find that the real price ends up being far higher than they could have imagined.

 

[LDremoved]

Yup, I agree with you. I just wanted to point out the hypocrisy of it only being ok when it's beneficial to one's particular belief (not saying that's even a bad thing) just that I think people are too quick to criticize sometimes. Also the benefit of women taking their careers seriously means more money which in turn means less time away from family. Working part time making good money because we devoted some extra time to a career sure beats working full time for minimum pay.