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Prayer request Meeting with In-laws

NickF

NickF

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Male
Some mess has hit the fan again. Had a bit of an ambush surprise confrontation with in-laws this morning. Sent the entire day into a tailspin.

We’re meeting with Catie’s parents Monday morning to hopefully clear some things up.

It’s been a very stressful day but she’s resolute and strong, I can’t say how proud I am of my helper for her resolve and wisdom. I chose so well when I picked her.

Could use prayer this weekend for both of us and our extended family. That the Lord would confound the prideful man (Chase) seeking to sow seeds of discord, that his plans would backfire.

Pray for Catie to have a clear and eloquent mind to get her thoughts out on paper this weekend prior to the meeting. And the same for me.

I may end up needing to withstand Chase to his face and show how he is blaspheming the name of the Most High.

This man is one of the youngest men in the church, pastor; he has appointed himself and two other younger men (all under 35) as a supposed “council of elders” over the local church.

I’m having a hard time not flipping over tables with this young man.
 
I’ll be praying for you guys. You are on the side of Scripture on this topic. Turn that lion of truth lose… he will defend himself.

On a side note, a young man appointing himself as an elder is a massive red flag about the spiritual health of a church.
 
NickF said:
This man is one of the youngest men in the church, pastor; he has appointed himself and two other younger men (all under 35) as a supposed “council of elders” over the local church.
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Nick, a thought that comes to mind for you here; Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity (1 Tim. 4:12). Timothy was a young man. Blessings brother. Praying for you.
 
frederick said:
Nick, a thought that comes to mind for you here; Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity (1 Tim. 4:12). Timothy was a young man. Blessings brother. Praying for you.
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Think about that verse for a bit.
How do you not allow people to despise your youth? You can’t stop them if you are acting in youthful brashness.
If you are an example in love, spirit, and etc, they can’t despise your lack of age.
 
steve said:
Think about that verse for a bit.
How do you not allow people to despise your youth? You can’t stop them if you are acting in youthful brashness.
If you are an example in love, spirit, and etc, they can’t despise your lack of age.
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My post was intended to be a subtle pointer to Nick in light of his comment about the age of the young man and the counsel of elders. That's all.
 
frederick said:
My post was intended to be a subtle pointer to Nick in light of his comment about the age of the young man and the counsel of elders. That's all.
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I know, I just took the opportunity to be a bit preachy as the thought occurred.
 
NickF said:
Some mess has hit the fan again. Had a bit of an ambush surprise confrontation with in-laws this morning. Sent the entire day into a tailspin.

We’re meeting with Catie’s parents Monday morning to hopefully clear some things up.

It’s been a very stressful day but she’s resolute and strong, I can’t say how proud I am of my helper for her resolve and wisdom. I chose so well when I picked her.

Could use prayer this weekend for both of us and our extended family. That the Lord would confound the prideful man (Chase) seeking to sow seeds of discord, that his plans would backfire.

Pray for Catie to have a clear and eloquent mind to get her thoughts out on paper this weekend prior to the meeting. And the same for me.

I may end up needing to withstand Chase to his face and show how he is blaspheming the name of the Most High.

This man is one of the youngest men in the church, pastor; he has appointed himself and two other younger men (all under 35) as a supposed “council of elders” over the local church.

I’m having a hard time not flipping over tables with this young man.
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Praying.
 
The pastor is spreading falsehoods we found out today. I'm probably going to be offline for a while. Catie is more torn up than when her poppa died earlier this year. We are exhausted.
 
Praying for you all!
 
NickF said:
This man is one of the youngest men in the church, pastor; he has appointed himself and two other younger men (all under 35) as a supposed “council of elders” over the local church.
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What are Catie's parents' attitudes to this situation?

Young pastors are ok - everyone starts in their profession young, he can't help his age. But young "elders" who are not elders (the word by definition means someone who is older), and elders being appointed by the pastor rather than the pastor being appointed by the elders, are both way out of line. Are there not actual elders in the church who would have something to say about it? Such as whoever appointed the pastor in the first place? That is a mess.

But it's temporary. These sorts of things have a habit of blowing up and collapsing. You'll probably find that in 3 years most of those young men are gone - they'll upset various people and then get upset themselves over something and one by one leave in a huff, and the older mature people will just naturally end up back in charge. Stay strong, expose the lies calmly, don't let it change your life. This will pass and you will outlast them. Pastors are temporary, family is permanent. It may be a rough road for you temporarily but you will get through it, and her family will ultimately realise that having a good relationship with their daughter is more important than listening to a young upstart pastor.

Proverbs 6:16-19
There are six things which the LORD hates,
Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him:
Haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
And hands that shed innocent blood,
A heart that devises wicked plans,
Feet that run rapidly to evil,
A false witness who utters lies,
And one who spreads strife among brothers.
 
FollowingHim said:
Young pastors are ok - everyone starts in their profession young, he can't help his age. But young "elders" who are not elders (the word by definition means someone who is older), and elders being appointed by the pastor rather than the pastor being appointed by the elders, are both way out of line. Are there not actual elders in the church who would have something to say about it? Such as whoever appointed the pastor in the first place? That is a mess.
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Youth is no excuse for stupidity.

He isn't child anymore.
 
Praying for you both @NickF and @CatieF. Praying the Lord will direct you clearly through the "strong winds" of false words that seem to be able to knock you down in many ways. Hold tight to each other and His hand as he leads you through this storm.
 
Nick, I'm praying for you all.
I'm glad that you and Catie are both strong and well grounded in Scripture.
May the Lord uphold and vindicate His children.

"Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. He who does good is of God, but he who does evil has not seen God." (3rd John verse 9 NKJV)

"If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth." (1st John 1:6 NKJV)

In all likelihood this "pastor" is probably unregenerate. Many church members and pastors are. Their rotten fruit reveals the evil of their hearts.
 
Bartato said:
Nick, I'm praying for you all.
I'm glad that you and Catie are both strong and well grounded in Scripture.
May the Lord uphold and vindicate His children.

"Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. He who does good is of God, but he who does evil has not seen God." (3rd John verse 9 NKJV)

"If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth." (1st John 1:6 NKJV)

In all likelihood this "pastor" is probably unregenerate. Many church members and pastors are. Their rotten fruit reveals the evil of their hearts.
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I think he is in over his head, he's very prideful, and didn't know how to handle my bringing up a topic he was unprepared to answer. He thought he could just throw weight around to control my "error" and found out that doesn't work with me. So now he's on defense and everything is getting blown out of proportion and nobody is actually coming to me to discuss what scripture says. They are having meetings and circling wagons rather than coming to a brother who they think is in error.

I truly believe he has sincerity in his heart and genuinely believes he is correct and in obedience to the word. He's just leaning on the traditions of man more than study of the Word.

In-laws informed us they made up their mind and weren't going to discuss, and practically said they were not open to being shown anything in scripture anymore. Then this morning retracted the "we won't talk about this anymore". So hopefully I can convince everyone to just sit down for a meeting or three to go through the scriptural basis for what we believe and answer the objections. I am extremely confident in my knowledge on the topic and can easily answer all the objections I have ever heard on the topic. Total cakewalk.

The trick is in the hearers being willing to let go of the traditions of man taught as doctrines, and actually just rely on scripture and logic. The emotions are HIGH. And those emotions are blinding people.

Doing a little better today but still exhausted and stressed.

I tell ya what though. This is only binding the two of us closer together and building my confidence and trust in my wife. I've never been as confident and trusting of her ability to slap down any error on this topic. She's even spoken to me today about how she was seeing all of the fallacies and easily refuted errors her parents were presenting. They love the Lord so much, and are afraid mostly. But Catie is getting really good at pointing out the errors with MO doctrine and pointing to scripture that proves it. We're gonna be fine but we earnestly covet your prayers and support. Thanks so much everyone!
 
NickF said:
I think he is in over his head, he's very prideful, and didn't know how to handle my bringing up a topic he was unprepared to answer. He thought he could just throw weight around to control my "error" and found out that doesn't work with me. So now he's on defense and everything is getting blown out of proportion and nobody is actually coming to me to discuss what scripture says. They are having meetings and circling wagons rather than coming to a brother who they think is in error.

I truly believe he has sincerity in his heart and genuinely believes he is correct and in obedience to the word. He's just leaning on the traditions of man more than study of the Word.

In-laws informed us they made up their mind and weren't going to discuss, and practically said they were not open to being shown anything in scripture anymore. Then this morning retracted the "we won't talk about this anymore". So hopefully I can convince everyone to just sit down for a meeting or three to go through the scriptural basis for what we believe and answer the objections. I am extremely confident in my knowledge on the topic and can easily answer all the objections I have ever heard on the topic. Total cakewalk.

The trick is in the hearers being willing to let go of the traditions of man taught as doctrines, and actually just rely on scripture and logic. The emotions are HIGH. And those emotions are blinding people.

Doing a little better today but still exhausted and stressed.

I tell ya what though. This is only binding the two of us closer together and building my confidence and trust in my wife. I've never been as confident and trusting of her ability to slap down any error on this topic. She's even spoken to me today about how she was seeing all of the fallacies and easily refuted errors her parents were presenting. They love the Lord so much, and are afraid mostly. But Catie is getting really good at pointing out the errors with MO doctrine and pointing to scripture that proves it. We're gonna be fine but we earnestly covet your prayers and support. Thanks so much everyone!
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I will continue praying for you. I believe the Lord will use you and Catie to help other Christians grow in their understanding of Biblical doctrine. You are helping expose error, and that is a difficult thing for people to deal with.
 
Praying you can truly exhibit the humility of Yeshua. This goes a long way in then hearing you in the long run. Otherwise they will know for sure it’s evil doctrine, rather than Holy Spirit led. Humility and love for, each of the ones who believe in their hearts that they are standing in truth and purity.

We went through what your doing a few months ago and we were excommunicated from our church. It was a very hurtful and unpleasant scene. Close, very close friends who won’t talk to us anymore and believe we are immoral. Our young adult children are still embraced there very heartily. It’s tough.
A few in the congregation have seen my husbands humility and they have come and acknowledged that while he is biblically correct through they think it’s not a good idea at all.
It’s a lonely road. Yet inspire if it all, the Lord has been near and continues to bless us with his presence when we cry out to him.
Bless you both!
 
NickF said:
I think he is in over his head, he's very prideful, and didn't know how to handle my bringing up a topic he was unprepared to answer. He thought he could just throw weight around to control my "error" and found out that doesn't work with me. So now he's on defense and everything is getting blown out of proportion and nobody is actually coming to me to discuss what scripture says. They are having meetings and circling wagons rather than coming to a brother who they think is in error.
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There won't be any more talking scripture with you. It's all social reason. Youngling thought he could use "his authority" to explain "situation" to you. Now his social status is dashed as wave upon rocks.

As since you insist talking upon scripture and know better scripture than him, he is royally scr.....up. You see, legitimacy of church leadership is mostly because they know scripture better than most. And now you could replace them all (in their minds). After all, teaching sound doctrine is pastor's primary job and you could do it better than him.

And since congregation's best interest is having best teacher and if congregation finds out that you are better than pastor, well, then no job security for current pastor.

Social assassination is something expected.

It wouldn't be first time I heard pastor being afraid of congregation member.

NickF said:
In-laws informed us they made up their mind and weren't going to discuss, and practically said they were not open to being shown anything in scripture anymore. Then this morning retracted the "we won't talk about this anymore". So hopefully I can convince everyone to just sit down for a meeting or three to go through the scriptural basis for what we believe and answer the objections. I am extremely confident in my knowledge on the topic and can easily answer all the objections I have ever heard on the topic. Total cakewalk.
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Why are at all trying to explain your in-laws correct scripture? Did they ask for it or show curiosity?

There is reason religion and politics are taboo topics. Give them 2 minute explanation why and STFU.

Did you even consider what effect your marriage has on their marriage? They do think should they copy you and what implications it will have on their marriage. How would mother-in-law who believes in hubby only for her react to husband of her daughter explaining to her husband that her hubby has absolute right to bring another women in her house without asking her anything? How about very not happy? And by the way, she can't get rid of you in legal way which means you could any time influence her hubby.

And best part is that social norms forbid them from having marriage fight in front of you. Therefore, best way to reduce conflict is to no longer speak about topic.

Don't be suprised if they go around your back to convince your wife you are wrong.
 
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Happyhen said:
Praying you can truly exhibit the humility of Yeshua. This goes a long way in then hearing you in the long run.
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That's good 👍
Humility is a proper Christian virtue and helps us gain a hearing.

I also pray that Nick and Catie will be bold confident unashamed and steadfast. They are standing on the truth of Scripture against the traditions of man, like Christ against the Pharisees.
 
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