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Must Every Woman Marry?

jay c

New Member
This has probably been asked elsewhere on the board, but I couldn't figure out a good way to search for it. Feel free to post links if there are other discussions.

The standard church line these days is that most people should get married but some men and some women should remain single in order to dedicate their lives to ministry. I'm not so sure that this is true for women. What do you all think? Should some women remain single? Should all women marry? Why?
 
I Cor 7:33,34
33But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
34There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

An unmarried woman is fine and a blessing to the Lord also, as is an unmarried man.
 
Paul also wrote that women will be saved through childbearing. It seems to me that, in 1 Corinthians 7, he was not referring to lifelong virginity. In this same passage, he wrote, "...those who have wives should be as not having one." He cannot have meant that to be interpreted generally, but only in light of the crisis that he believed was imminent (v29).
 
The clear example in scripture is that men and women are to marry and have children, but I don't think the command for Adam and Eve and Noah to multiply and fill the earth necessarily translates to a command to every individual. Yeshua said that some men are made eunuchs by God and that it's better for some men to remain unmarried.
 
freebird said:
What applied then, applies now. period. Never changes.
There are examples of "issues" changing throughout history.
For example off hand I can think of:
Genesis 2:25 "The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame"
Then in the very next chapter:
Genesis 3:21 "The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them"

I know that was a VERY long time ago, but the question is: Do we not go around naked because of a social issues? or because God gave us cloths?
Without getting into a debate on whether we should be naked or not: The main issue is throughout scripture you can see that based on our decision (freewill, a gift God gave us) God WILL change things to benefit us.
Same with Marriage, even though every woman may have the "instincts" to be a wife/mother. It does not benefit every woman to marry. Just because something was in the Old Testament does not mean it benefits us today. We live in temporal space, and the neat part is as we progress through it, things change... Don't think to hard about that though, it will hurt your head. :D
 
freebird said:
Why would it NOT be every individual?

My primary argument for this command not being to specific individuals is that it was addressed to the founders of humanity and seems to be a command to humankind in general. It can be reasonably interpreted either way, but within the context of the whole of scripture it makes more sense to me as a command addressed to the human race and not to individual people.

I completely agree with the rest of your post.
 
Here's what I wrote in the book:

Genesis 1:28

And God blessed them, and God said unto them… The foremost question I want to answer concerning this verse is: “To what extent are we required by God to ‘be fruitful and multiply’?” I see three ways to argue the point:

1. God blessed us with fruitfulness, but did not necessarily command us to multiply.
The proximity of “God blessed” and “God said” (“And God blessed them, and God said unto them…”) appear to make the two clauses parts of a single act. God said “Be fruitful and multiply” two other times, once to the animals in v22 and once to Noah and his family in 9:1. All three times the statement was intimately linked to a blessing. Therefore, the phrase “Be fruitful and multiply” is merely a blessing much as we might say, “Get well soon,” to a sick friend. The problem with this argument is that there is a vital difference between the way that God blessed the fish and birds and the way that he blessed mankind. In v22, he does not appear to be speaking to the animals so much as over the animals: “God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply…” which could be reworded as “God blessed them by saying…” However, in the verse currently under consideration, Moses wrote “God blessed them, and God said unto them…” implying a qualitative difference in the nature of the blessing,1 as well as a logical division between the blessing and the “command.” But is this difference enough to make a command? In Genesis 14:19-20, Melchizedek blessed Abram in very similar words, but gave no command, following the pattern of v22 and strengthening the idea that this instance in v28 is also only a blessing and no command at all.

2. God categorically commanded mankind to be fruitful and multiply.
The qualitative difference demonstrated above, namely that God spoke directly to mankind and that the name “Elohim” is repeated as the subject of both clauses, certainly seems to support this interpretation. Elohim is Hebrew for “judges” or “rulers” and so it appears that, by repeating the name of the Creator, Moses was emphasizing the authority with which God spoke. The command is valid until the Kingdom in which men will become like the angels and no longer lawfully procreate. (At least that is the commonly accepted interpretation of Matthew 22:30.) However, it must still be understood that this is a command to mankind in general and not to each and every individual. Obviously, we cannot ascribe guilt to those whom Yeshua and Paul commended for their celibacy, nor to those whom God has made barren for his own purposes.

3. God commanded mankind to be fruitful and multiply, but only to a certain point.
God commanded us to multiply, but if the purpose of the command was to enable mankind to effectively govern the earth2, a point might come (or might have already come) at which further multiplication becomes unfruitful. “Replenish the earth” is an integral part of the command to multiply, so once we have populated the earth, the command may be considered fulfilled. This is the argument of the environmentalist who favors zero or negative population growth (and commonly also favors abortion and coercive measures to discourage growth, but these negative and ungodly attitudes are not inherent in the argument). Although most theologians and men of God whom I respect believe this is not the case, I am not convinced either way. As will be seen in the next section on “subdue it” and in the comments for Genesis 2, governance of the earth is at least a major part of the purpose for man’s creation, so this argument cannot be easily dismissed.

Deciding that “be fruitful” is a blessing and not a command might or might not change how we affect family planning.3 Rejecting a blessing from God seems too presumptuous and might actually invite curse in its stead, so the course most people choose should not be affected at all, whether command or blessing. We should graciously accept what God chooses to give to us, realizing that he knows our needs and capabilities better than we do. However, no one should be ostracized or harassed because they choose not to have a large family or perhaps choose not to have children at all. I believe economic reasons for not having children to be petty and faithless, but there are many other reasons that I am not capable of judging, such as precarious health of the potential mother, genetic disorders in either parent, or any number of other reasons. Paul wrote that under certain circumstances it is better to remain unmarried, and it might be that under certain circumstances it is better to remain childless or to stop conceiving children. I cannot say for certain what those circumstances are, but I am not willing to judge the hearts of other men and women based solely on how many children they have. God knows and judges the heart in such situations.

<1> The same Hebrew word, amar, is used in v22 for “saying” and in v28 for “said unto them.” The King James Version does not have “unto them” italicized, so it does not appear to be an insertion by the translators. I have assumed that the difference may be one of declension or case that cannot be directly translated into English. To the contrary, two Hebrew scholars have told me that there is no difference in the Hebrew, and “unto them” was an extrapolation on the part of the KJV translators. Brenton’s translation from the Septuagint agrees that the English should read “God blessed them, saying…” This lends more weight to the idea that God was blessing mankind with fertility rather than commanding them to be fruitful.

<2> Although I doubt that he would have openly supported the idea which I wrote next, this is the view promoted by Rushdoony: “The meaning of the family is thus not to be sought in procreation but in a God-centered authority and responsibility in terms of man’s calling to subdue the earth and to exercise dominion over it.” Rousas John Rushdoony, The Institutes of Biblical Law. (The Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing Company, 1973.) 164.
<3> I do not mean abortion, abortifacients, oral contraceptives, or the self-centeredness which our society calls “family planning.”
 
jay c said:
Yeshua said that some men are made eunuchs by God and that it's better for some men to remain unmarried.

But is that ever said about WOMEN? I see a very few cases in Scripture where men may have been "called" to a life of celibacy. Does anyone know of a single scriptural reference to a woman so called? I don't.

I therefore conclude that marriage is, barring evidence to the contrary, God's "Plan A" for all women. Probably all men as well. Which doesn't mean that He caqn't/won't come up with a "Plan B" if He needs to.

Having said all that, neither do I see Scripture setting a time-frame in place. My sister-in-law married for the first time at age 49 after "a lifetime" as a missionary, businesswoman, and schoolteacher. Instant Mom and Granny. :o Doing quite well after several years together.

So, IMHO, it's a "Plan A" thing with uncertain timetable, rather than an imperative.
 
diasōzō said:
[I know that was a VERY long time ago, but the question is: Do we not go around naked because of a social issues? or because God gave us cloths?

Well ... As a matter of fact, I do run around nekkid under my clothes. Don't you? ;)

So what's with the clothes? Maybe, at its core, it is just God giving us permission or perhaps recommendation to not reveal ourselves fully to everybody!

Hmmm ... Further, I don't remember a command to Shop and wear clothes, nor a report of God saying, "It was all good at creation except the clothes. Durn it! I forgot the clothes! This Old-Timer's is catching up with me!" :lol:

So I'm not sure that appealing to the clothes issue is quite an "apples to apples" comparison. Could be wrong, of course ...
 
CecilW said:
jay c said:
Yeshua said that some men are made eunuchs by God and that it's better for some men to remain unmarried.

But is that ever said about WOMEN? I see a very few cases in Scripture where men may have been "called" to a life of celibacy. Does anyone know of a single scriptural reference to a woman so called? I don't.

I therefore conclude that marriage is, barring evidence to the contrary, God's "Plan A" for all women. Probably all men as well. Which doesn't mean that He caqn't/won't come up with a "Plan B" if He needs to.
You make a very good point.

The only verses that come to mind about the issue are: 1 Corinthians 7:25-28 "Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. 26Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this."

I usually skip over the part where he notes its NOT a command of the Lord.
I however still have a very hard time saying that every woman should marry...
 
CecilW said:
jay c said:
Yeshua said that some men are made eunuchs by God and that it's better for some men to remain unmarried.

But is that ever said about WOMEN? I see a very few cases in Scripture where men may have been "called" to a life of celibacy. Does anyone know of a single scriptural reference to a woman so called? I don't.
No. It isn't, and I don't. I was just using that as an argument against "be fruitful" as a command to all individual people.

CecilW said:
I therefore conclude that marriage is, barring evidence to the contrary, God's "Plan A" for all women. Probably all men as well. Which doesn't mean that He caqn't/won't come up with a "Plan B" if He needs to.
I mostly agree with that. I would only say that it is Plan A for the majority of men, but definitely not for all.

CecilW said:
Having said qall that, neither do I see Scripture setting a time-frame in place. My sister-in-law married for the first time at age 49 after "a lifetime" as a missionary, businesswoman, and schoolteacher. Instant Mom and Granny. :o Doing quite well after several years together.
I agree less with that. God can certainly use your sil's circumstances to provide a mother and grandmother to a family that needs one, but I think that his Plan A still includes natural born children for every almost woman.

(I say "almost" to allow for those very unusual "women" of uncertain sex, who might have the plumbing but not the genetics. I don't even want to get into that, 'cuz I just don't know and don't expect to know in this lifetime.)
 
I find this topic frustrating and would need to speek to you in person or right a novel. Maybe that's it I will right a novel. As a single woman I have heard this belife that Every Woman should Mary as a way to turn down nose at me. I may get married but a faithful servant to god woman is HOLY. My god is father to the father less and defender to the widow. A divorced Woman is the head of her home. So that makes me the head of my home. Since there is no man here I am not practising woman over man wich is a sin.
 
I think all Churches I have ever been in or around frown on the unmarried woman. I have heard and seen Marraige as idoltary. Only Jesus saves me only Jesus covers me ONLY JESUS there is no other way to the father.
 
Could some one who memeorizes scripture ( a chalange I'm working on) help me out with this one. some were in the Psalms I beleive it says that blessed are those with out children for there decendants are the nations. Something along those lines.
 
marry-ella said:
I find this topic frustrating and would need to speek to you in person or right a novel. Maybe that's it I will right a novel. As a single woman I have heard this belife that Every Woman should Mary as a way to turn down nose at me. I may get married but a faithful servant to god woman is HOLY. My god is father to the father less and defender to the widow. A divorced Woman is the head of her home. So that makes me the head of my home. Since there is no man here I am not practising woman over man wich is a sin.

I think I understand where you're coming from, Marry-Ella. I'm not about to say that every unmarried woman is in defiance of God's will or is a lesser Christian because of it. Being a terribly imperfect man, myself, I would only be a hypocrite. I believe that you should get married, but I don't know your specific circumstances, and--perhaps more importantly--I'm not you. I am in no position to judge you. A single woman can be used by God to do great things. I have no doubt about that at all.
 
marry-ella said:
Could some one who memeorizes scripture ( a chalange I'm working on) help me out with this one. some were in the Psalms I beleive it says that blessed are those with out children for there decendants are the nations. Something along those lines.

Isaiah 54:1-2 Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the LORD. (2) Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations: spare not, lengthen thy cords, and strengthen thy stakes;

I don't believe this is saying that barren women are blessed because of their barrenness. It's a prophetic reference back to Sarah who was barren until God healed her and made her the mother of many nations and the ancestress of the Messiah.
 
marry-ella said:
I think all Churches I have ever been in or around frown on the unmarried woman. I have heard and seen Marraige as idoltary. Only Jesus saves me only Jesus covers me ONLY JESUS there is no other way to the father.

You are certainly correct that Jesus is the only way to the Father. However, you are wrong that only Jesus can cover you. In the sense of eternal salvation you are correct, but there are many other ways in which a husband can cover his wife, and I don't believe that a woman can provide those coverings for herself.

Marriage is most definitely not required for salvation.
 
jay c said:
CecilW said:
jay c said:
(I say "almost" to allow for those very unusual "women" of uncertain sex, who might have the plumbing but not the genetics. I don't even want to get into that, 'cuz I just don't know and don't expect to know in this lifetime.)

An interesting sidenote for what it is worth...

In divine healing circles, I know of a matter in which a hermaphrodite individual was thoroughly healed and no signs of gender indistinction remained. If my memory serves me right, I believe they asked for prayer officially relating to another matter of health altogether. It reminds me of the woman who asked for prayer for a matter unrelated to her full hysterectomy many years previous. After the command "Be whole" she found herself giving birth to a child after about a year or so. It came as a bit of a surprise to her to say the least.

A man who has done seemingly irreparable harm to his body is not out of the realm of possibility either, but there are certainly abundant barriers to faith from multiple angles. The book of Acts can not only be lived again but it can be exceeded in both glory and frequency. There is a level in the restoration of the rule and reign of Yah in this earth that just tends to fix things. When we use terms like impossible we can be fully biblically assured of the error of our words for truly "all things are possible" though all things are certainly not easy but is anything too hard for Yah? It is that "agency of man thing" that tends to get in the way.

Just an interesting sidenote, please don't let this comment hijack the thread.

Curtis

P.S. I have been around a fair bit of these kinds of things and don't remember how to verify the above for those of you that may so inquire.
 
marry-ella said:
My god is father to the father less and defender to the widow.

In the next verse in Psalms, it also says that He puts the solitary into families. That would seem to be His "Plan A".

At a guess, He's working on doing that for you as well, Marry-Ella, though the results may not yet be visible.

The same passage also says that He brings out those who are bound into freedom and prosperity. From what has been related here on the forum, it sounds like the churches with which you have sadly been involved have done more binding than free-ing, but also like our Father God is bringing you out into freedom from them. Hopefully, that will offer hope and faith that He's at work in the Family isue as well.

And yes, agreed, you're doing no wrong in acting as head of your own household until God brings you to a suitable situation. What else are you to do? Place yourself under the headship of a man who is NOT your husband? No scripture justification for that either, though plenty of guys like the idea of weilding authority!
 
CecilW said:
And yes, agreed, you're doing no wrong in acting as head of your own household until God brings you to a suitable situation. What else are you to do? Place yourself under the headship of a man who is NOT your husband? No scripture justification for that either, though plenty of guys like the idea of weilding authority!
Ditto.
 
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