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My heart is breaking. I know the tears will come when

elkanahtyler

elkanahtyler

Member
Male
My heart is breaking. I know the tears will come when it really hits me. Paloma being in Mexico for two months, I kind of got used to her not being around, being silent with no cellular service in Mexico. Now Paloma tells me she has to move to North Carolina to live with her daughter since she lost her job, and neither I nor she can pay her rent here in Calif. I know she would stay in Calif if I could afford to pay her rent but the recession has greatly reduced my income and I am not able. My other ladies won't let her live with them/us. Each lady has her own house. Two of them own their own homes. My ladies accept poly only because that's the only way the can have me. Maylee is afraid of her families' reaction so we can only be together half the week. Ruthee wants to know as little of my poly as possible, barely tolerating it. They have very little in common with each other except for me and the Lord and they prefer to have minimal contact with each other. They want their own places and their own privacy, and I move like a Bedouin(Sp) between them. Paloma might come back to California to care for me if I become bedridden or nonambulatory and we live together 24/7. They all agree that she is the only one able and so inclined. My heart aches "What will we do until then???" Absence without hope does not make the heart grow fonder. It just makes the heart hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know that this is not a 1 Cor 7: 12-15 situation that would end our relationship, because she would stay in Calif near me if we could pay her rent. PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A very sad and tired old man.
Tyler



http://meetup.com/SanDiegoChristianPolygyny - - - - - - - - - 17
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Poly_Poly ... _And_Jesus 
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxB ... gePolygamy 
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyPolygamyPolygnyNJesus 
http://groups.google.com/group/Biblical ... myPolygyny 
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxB ... ePolygamy2 
http://www.flickr.com/groups/christian_polygyny/  - - - 39
http://www.flickr.com/groups/christian_polygamy/ - - - 48
http://community.eons.com/groups/group/ ... -maritally
http://groups.myspace.com/BiblicalChristianPoly
http://polygynouschristians.multiply.com/   - - - - 6
 
Tyler,
I am so sorry for your pain. I will be praying that God gives you His solution for your plight.

SweetLissa
 
I hate that you are going through this but you have to let the Lord work it out for you and have faith that he will do the right thing. I know it is hard but nothing in life really comes easy. I wish you luck with everything and God Bless
 
whew,

ouch,

sounds like a painful situation in several areas, i pray that you find the Fathers will in all of this
 
Well, Paloma is back in California, not in San Diego and not to be my Lady. Her pastor persuaded her that polygyny and concubinage were only for the OT times and not for today, so now she has reduced our relationship to good friends who call each other weekly for newsy updates. Lady M has her granddaughters with her most of this and next week so we don't see much of each other except for me to drive her to or from her church services. Lady R is again leaving me alone so she can be with her daughter and grandchildren, which I believe is a violation of 1 Cor 7:5 and she knows how I feel about it. Furthermore she is going to spend a month+ this summer in Europe and Canada to go to a relative's wedding and attend the funeral and estate settlement of her mother. She prefers to spend Christmas and Thanksgiving with her children and grandchildren out of town, than to spend it with my children and grandchildren. She says she likes the food and company up there better than here with me. Everytime she leaves I feel more and more emotionally detached from her. Lady M wants to spend two or three months in Mexico this summer, even though I tellher it I don't like it, don't think it is safe and that it is a violation of 1 cor 7:2-5. My ladies don't accept the Word on marital submission in Eph 5 and 1 Peter 3 like I do. So I pray that the Lord doesn't let them go if He doesn't want them to go, and if they do go I look for signs of the Lord's chastening. They tell me to be with my children and grandchildren in their absence, but that doesn't address the 1 Cor 7:1-5 issues.
So a man with 2.5 ladies finds himself alone alot and very vulnerable as predicted in 1 Cor 7:5
 
Hello Brother,

You should have them read "created to Be His helpmeet" by Debi Pearl. They publish it in Spanish too. It is amazing book. No mention of Polygamy in it. But it will set em straight if they take it to heart!

Maria
 
They won't read those kind of books. Only the Lord can open their eyes and hearts, and it hasn't happened yet. At least I don't have to live up on the roof in a corner. Hearing the same old song - - -Sunday through Wednesday the man with 2.5 wives has no wives. Lady R is with her grandkids three hours away. Lacy P (.5) is too busy with work to get together, even in the evening. Lady N is tied up taking care of her grandchildren and is mad at me because I told her that her love grieves me because it is so very conditional, that she rarely if ever tells me that she loves me.
The lonely polygynist.
Elk
 
Very good question. God knows. Lady A is active in her church, reads her Bible daily and prays daily, sincerely.
Lady D was a deaconness in her church, helped establish her SD Adventist church locally, reads her Bible three times daily, prays long several times daily, often on her knees.
Lady C is a lukewarm Jehovah's Witness who says she believes Jesus is God, not an angel, but doesn't feel the need to obey Him in all the areas of her life.
At the time of our covenanting, Ladies A and D professed to be genuinely saved with genuine faith and a sincere desire to obey God. They seem to believe that they are okay with Eph 5 and 1 Peter 3 since they believe that being generally submissive is good enough and it is not necessary to be specifically submissive, or perhaps they believe it was a cultural teaching the Spirit gave at that time for that time. They don't believe that "24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." means they should be submissive to me in everything as the church submits to Christ. They don't seem to be chastened by the Lord for not being "submissive to me in everything as the church submits to Christ."
Lady A comes back tomorrow night. Her irrational verbal rages against her children caused me to lose all sexual passion and/or desire for her 18 years ago. She hasn't raged like that in ten years but I never got back the passion or desire for her. We manage to have sex by God's miraculous enabling, although menopause has sure slowed her down. She has been leaving me alone Thanksgvings and Christmas for a couple of years now. She leaves me alone almost monthly to be with her daughter and grandchildren. She will leave me for a month this summer to go to a family wedding in England, and an estate settling in Canada. She is going with her daughter. Her daughter emotionally opposed our marriage, resisted me as step-father, and felt that i verbally abused her when twice I got loud in her face when she was verbally abusing/disrespecting her mother. Inches from her face I made it clear that she may be her mother, but she is my wife and NO ONE talks to my wife that way when I'm around.

It really offends me and upsets me that Lady A spends so much time away from me without my consent, at least in violation of 1 Cor 7:5, so the only way I can handle it and not get bitter about it is to think as little as possible of her when she is away, which results in me shutting down emotionally towards her. My current level of emotion for her at this time is that one would have for a very dear and special friend and roommate. For sure no passion for or desire of her. Sad.

Lady D and I have had a falling out since I told her that since she never tells me that she loves or desires me, I don't believe that she loves of desires me, that her love is very conditional. She often says the only reason I'm polygynous with her is for sex. I don't like or want to have sex with a woman/wife who doesn't love or desire me. We have minimal contact now, except that I call each day to see how she is and if she needs anything. Sad. She has never forgiven me for
reconnecting with Lady C, the JW, in repentance for my 1 Cor 7:11,12 error with lady C. After Lady C and i covenanted, I
made a big mistake and unilaterally pulled back to friendship level, while she still wanted to be marital with me. A couple of years after Lady D and I covenanted, I realized my error with Lady C, went to her repentant and reconnected with her maritally, over Lady C's emotional protests, demanding STD/HIV/HCV testing for Lady C and me afterwards. The tests showed there was no problem but Lady D does not trust Lady C at all because of her apparent unsaved status and JW ties.
 
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