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My next set of questions

e) Family: Like everything else, they'll do what they wanna do. How do they tell your friends about yo9ur profession? Is it with pride? Longsuffering disappointment that you aren't a doctor or lawyer? (Or horror that you ARE one? *grin*) Do they show respect for your choices in education, career, mate? Or do you hear things like, "Well, poor boy, we're so proud of him, he's doing the best he can ..."?

Expect more of the same when it comes poly's turn.

After 10 years of my mom listening to me quote scripture to her on the topic, and hearing in reply that I "just COULDN'T be right, or our denomination would already be teaching it" (go figure), she has finally changed her tune. Now, she just says, "Ok, son, whatever. I just want you to be happy." I haven't figured out if that is a "You might be right" or a "This is the only life you're gonna get on account of your sin, so I want you to enjoy it." *sigh*

But you know what, new friend? It doesn't matter. Why not? 'Cause Jesus is smiling on me! I ask Him to do the work needed in me that will turn me into a true Man, the sort of man whom He can SAFELY entrust with the hearts of one or more of our Father's daughters, and He says, "NOW you're getting the idea!"

Oh, and the fruit? One of His daughters, my first wife who divorced me, is no longer chafing under the responsibility of trying to be a submissive wife, a situation which I had no idea was going on in my first marriage of 20+ years. Oh, and we're still friends.

Another of His daughters no longer wakes up screaming night after night from the nightmares of her first husband taking her children away from her more or less at gunpoint, nor of her second beating her. And her 4 kids, no longer get lined up for a beating before school by their abusive dad. (They're back with her, now us, or are on their own.)

Against that set of outcomes, (Well, yes, I'd still prefer and pray that my "first wife" rejoin my family, though that designation is merely a statement of chronology, not hierarchy), when other members of my family mournfully say, "You know, we still love you, and we're praying for you ..." (seemingly meaning "your lost soul"), I just don't get too bothered. We stand or fall to our Master, which is Christ.

I say, be humbly open, never arrogant, determined but not stubborn, then let the chips fall where they may. Regardless of cost, it turns out to be well worth it.
 
s3raph1m said:
How did she respond?

"I know you. You're a man of integrity. If you really believe this, someday you'll practice it. I'm not gonna be here when that happens. I'm getting a divorce."

That was the end-game after a couple of years of consciously manipulative attempts to force me into admitting that I was just trying to use the Bible to justify getting a bit of strange! (Wasn't, so couldn't.)

Current wife came on board with PM as a given, so the issues are more of a case of "would this lady (and her kids) fit with us?" We've met some lovely folk (who ultimately didn't), and some real doozies! (They didn't either!)

c) Do you all go out as a family to church? Did you have to leave your home church?

In my case, if two wives ever live with me at the same time, *wry grin* the answer will be, "We will, or we won't go! I will do nothing on the low-down or demeaning to either, and will publicly treat them both as my full wives."

As to my home church, one congregation in my denomination (SDA) disfellowshipped me. Other congregations since (I move periodically for work) have had varying reactions. In the current one, the head elder and pastor gave me the verdict of the local board that, while they disagreed with my thinking that PM is GOOD, they can find nothing scripturally prohibiting it, so "Welcome! And will you play the piano for our worship services?"

Bottom line, plan on it being unpredictable.
 
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