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Patriarchal Resources?

NickF

NickF

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Male
Looking for your suggestions on books, youtube channels, etc.

I travel a lot so if anybody has a library of audiobooks they're willing to share I'd be happy to send a thumb drive with SASE for easy return.

Looked quite a bit through the forum using a keyword search and haven't found much except references to the term. I'd love to see a discussion on what Biblical Patriarchy looks like in real practice in your house/life. I feel like I've been doing a poor job in this regard with my wife. My dad was a very steady and kind person, I love him tremendously and he did a fantastic job at demonstrating sacrificial love. But I don't think he modeled the authority and stalwart headship that I get from reading scripture. Constantly looking at myself to see if I'm modeling Christlike behavior, or being conformed to the world. By no means have I been a doormat, but likewise haven't been too domineering. Basically just checking myself.

I don't want to wreck my wife and family by swinging the pendulum towards tyrranical authoritarian attitudes. Trying to make sure I am proceeding with caution, wisdom, and humility. Trying to conform myself to the image of Christ, not Caesar.
 
NickF said:
Looking for your suggestions on books, youtube channels, etc.

I travel a lot so if anybody has a library of audiobooks they're willing to share I'd be happy to send a thumb drive with SASE for easy return.

Looked quite a bit through the forum using a keyword search and haven't found much except references to the term. I'd love to see a discussion on what Biblical Patriarchy looks like in real practice in your house/life. I feel like I've been doing a poor job in this regard with my wife. My dad was a very steady and kind person, I love him tremendously and he did a fantastic job at demonstrating sacrificial love. But I don't think he modeled the authority and stalwart headship that I get from reading scripture. Constantly looking at myself to see if I'm modeling Christlike behavior, or being conformed to the world. By no means have I been a doormat, but likewise haven't been too domineering. Basically just checking myself.

I don't want to wreck my wife and family by swinging the pendulum towards tyrranical authoritarian attitudes. Trying to make sure I am proceeding with caution, wisdom, and humility. Trying to conform myself to the image of Christ, not Caesar.
Click to expand...
My gut reaction to something I hadn't myself previously considered is to assert that this isn't something one learns in a manual. Many comments on the topic are written here, and there are occasional pieces of gold that can inspire one to be a biblically patriarchal leader, but far and away seeking patriarchal enlightenment at Biblical Families is much more a matter of a combination of two things: (a) being personally willing to risk moving into the nuts and bolts of implementing it, and, (b) where fellowship with other patriarchs and those striving to be patriarchs go, far and away what is valuable in this regard with Biblical Families is encountered and established at meat-space, real-live, in-person gatherings. At those gatherings, whether they be called conferences, retreats, gatherings, meet-ups, whatever, in circumstances in which each man (and woman) can look each other in the eye, one has the opportunity to truly size up each other in order to either add weight to or subtract potential value from what the words are coming out of their mouths. At those meetings, one finds opportunity for actual, tangible full fellowship, and to establish meaningful, lasting connections. From that one isn't just limited to finding value at the meetings, because once two men take stock of each other and determine they are brothers in arms, so to speak, they can then interact with each other here online or over the phone or text -- or even in individual meetings -- in a way that is somewhat inaccessible if one has not or perhaps never will meet in person. People can pretend to be anything when they're doing so behind a keyboard; in fact, people can almost entirely delude even their own selves into believing they're who they pretend to be, but that becomes much more difficult in person -- and when someone does that in person, then we have the opportunity to observe that they're hiding behind a façade, offering each of us the opportunity to choose among avoiding them, interact at a recognized surface level that won't translate into deep communion, or -- if we ourselves remain committed to our own façades -- latch onto them as fellow distance-maintainers.

As such, I'm a huge promoter of attending the gatherings, because they are pretty consistently so worthy of sacrifice and moving out of one's comfort zones that, by the time one is in the middle of one, any hesitancy about attending is entirely washed away.

[This testimony is sponsored and endorsed even by my former Sensitive New Age Guy persona, who is eternally grateful for being wrestled back into the shadows where he belongs.]
 
I think it is wise to watch the pendulum and make sure it doesn’t swing to far. Ecc 7:18 tells us to hold on to one without letting go of the other. I’ve been trying to work through this very same thing. I recently rediscovered one of my old favorite verses that helped put things in perspective for me;
“God has spoken once, Twice I have heard this: That power belongs to God. Also to You, O Lord, belongs mercy; For You render to each one according to his work.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭62:11-12‬ ‭NKJV‬‬
If I strive to imitate the God who is love by standing confident in the authority I’m given, while sharing the same mercy I’ve been given, I figure I can’t get to far off track.
 
So many think that patriarchy is about power and control.
No, it’s about responsibility.

Treat your family in the way that you want Yeshua to treat you and you’ll be fine.
 
While there aren't many 'how to be a patriarch' books/documents, there are some good sources for Biblical marriage apologetics. This site has some resources on the main page that are worthy of your time.

Consider also the resources at https://natsab.com/biblical-marriage/

As well as these playlists: Brian Kelson on Biblical Marriage: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJrMBrRFLh5cDX4cnQrOL7mL7l1_74IXD

Authority, Headship, and Family Structure; Responding to David Wilber and JK McKee: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJrMBrRFLh5cyFx0SuIrmSCSQX8xbiiYd

That may give you some fodder..
 
steve said:
So many think that patriarchy is about power and control.
No, it’s about responsibility.

Treat your family in the way that you want Yeshua to treat you and you’ll be fine.
Click to expand...
Good word. I have been, so that's comforting. I hope my reticence is a sign of right thinking and Godly attitude rather than inconstancy.
 
There are some decent podcasts out there that do a pretty good job talking about patriarchy, but stop short of polygyny.

The guys at It's Good to be a Man are pretty solid. They have a book too, but i haven't read it yet. https://itsgoodtobeaman.buzzsprout.com/266333

The Hard Man podcast has a few diamonds in the rough. Eric Conn, the host, strays away from patriarchy to get preachy about Reformed theology quite a bit, but there is some good principles in there still.

The Hard Men Podcast

Keep up with all of the latest content from Eric Conn. Learn how to reclaim biblical masculinity in a world of softness.
www.ericconn.com www.ericconn.com

From my church of Christ background there is the Think Deeper podcast specific episodes:
tinyurl.com

Google Podcasts

With Google Podcasts, you can find and listen to the world's podcasts for free.
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tinyurl.com

Google Podcasts

With Google Podcasts, you can find and listen to the world's podcasts for free.
tinyurl.com tinyurl.com
tinyurl.com

Google Podcasts

With Google Podcasts, you can find and listen to the world's podcasts for free.
tinyurl.com tinyurl.com
 
Shiloh.F said:
I think it is wise to watch the pendulum and make sure it doesn’t swing to far. Ecc 7:18 tells us to hold on to one without letting go of the other.
Click to expand...
I'm not a fan of the pendulum metaphor when it comes to being a patriarch, because what I believe it leads to is being emotionally labile: swinging back and forth from masculinity to femininity in order to remain 'sensitive' to women. Rush Limbaugh, may he rest in peace, had many great sayings, and one was, "The shortest book in existence is the one dedicated to the Great Moderates of History." The point is that one cannot be too masculine. What one can do, of course, is fail in some other dimension, and I say this to walk right into an assertion that being a bully is not part of the masculine-feminine continuum. Being a bully is part of the kindness-meanness continuum. Some of the most egregious bullies are spineless males who white knight for women; they have no hesitation about making personal attacks or spewing distorted propaganda against those with whom they can't engage in discourse but whom they believe it is justified to destroy by any means necessary because they are speaking uncomfortable truths. In fact, as men, we've been too eager to simply accept the propaganda that being a bully is some sort of far-right manifestation of masculinity. That is wrong.

Conversely, one of the most masculine of all behaviors on the part of men and one of the most feminine of all behaviors on the part of women is to acknowledge when one is wrong, which requires -- especially on the part of women -- being willing to be confronted. By 'protecting' women from criticism or even from the supposed 'horror' of having to hear or read something that makes them 'feel uncomfortable,' we do women a multifaceted disservice. Among other debilitating effects, engaging in such 'protection' not only treats them as if they're simpletons but prevents them from accessing their inherent femininity, because it perversely rewards them for maintaining the very masculine posture of, "You better not go there!"

Therefore, I believe that -- along with modeling his own willingness to be confronted -- one of the most loving, caring, kind and, yes, masculine things a man can do for his women is present them with mirrors that show them how they come across or that demonstrate that they are out of line.
 
NS4Liberty said:
There are some decent podcasts out there that do a pretty good job talking about patriarchy, but stop short of polygyny.

The guys at It's Good to be a Man are pretty solid. They have a book too, but i haven't read it yet. https://itsgoodtobeaman.buzzsprout.com/266333

The Hard Man podcast has a few diamonds in the rough. Eric Conn, the host, strays away from patriarchy to get preachy about Reformed theology quite a bit, but there is some good principles in there still.

The Hard Men Podcast

Keep up with all of the latest content from Eric Conn. Learn how to reclaim biblical masculinity in a world of softness.
www.ericconn.com www.ericconn.com

From my church of Christ background there is the Think Deeper podcast specific episodes:
tinyurl.com

Google Podcasts

With Google Podcasts, you can find and listen to the world's podcasts for free.
tinyurl.com tinyurl.com
tinyurl.com

Google Podcasts

With Google Podcasts, you can find and listen to the world's podcasts for free.
tinyurl.com tinyurl.com
tinyurl.com

Google Podcasts

With Google Podcasts, you can find and listen to the world's podcasts for free.
tinyurl.com tinyurl.com
Click to expand...
NS4Liberty said:
The guys at It's Good to be a Man are pretty solid. They have a book too, but i haven't read it yet. https://itsgoodtobeaman.buzzsprout.com/266333
Click to expand...
Thanks for this, @NS4Liberty. I'd already come across the HardMen podcasts, but I just finished listening to the Introduction to It's Good to Be a Man, and, while I'm no Reformer or Calvinist, I intend to listen to a lot of these, because I highly appreciate that they begin by acknowledging the degree to which the church has not only failed men but promoted their demise -- as well as appreciating that they didn't dismiss the secular manosphere but recognize Yah in the manosphere's nonrecognition!

NS4Liberty said:
From my church of Christ background there is the Think Deeper podcast specific episodes:
tinyurl.com

Google Podcasts

With Google Podcasts, you can find and listen to the world's podcasts for free.
tinyurl.com tinyurl.com
tinyurl.com

Google Podcasts

With Google Podcasts, you can find and listen to the world's podcasts for free.
tinyurl.com tinyurl.com
tinyurl.com

Google Podcasts

With Google Podcasts, you can find and listen to the world's podcasts for free.
tinyurl.com tinyurl.com
Click to expand...
These are good as well, although I did occasionally think they were too apologetic and fall prey to their own label of being Nice Guys -- and just to give a shorthand hint to where I'm coming from in that regard, I believe we shouldn't be default to being judgmental about how a man is leading his family as long as clear abuse or neglect isn't occurring. Just as there are men who focus on their man caves or their gaming, there are women who don't require or deserve any higher level of leadership; those women are still being given protection, provision and due benevolence. To assert otherwise is to assert that all women deserve above-average or high-level men.
 
Bright Hearth podcast is a wonderful resource. These 2 episodes in particular, but I encourage you to listen to others.


 
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