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Please help me understand

Forgive me if my reply misses the mark but I am doing my best to understand the problem and a solution. Let me propose a Scriptural response.
It is a sin against 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 for a husband to deny/defraud his wife due sexual relations and affection. That being the case first I would recommend that first you do the three week fasting and praying of Daniel 10:2" In those days, I, Daniel, had been mourning for three entire weeks. 3 I did not eat any tasty food, nor did meat or wine enter my mouth, nor did I use any ointment at all until the entire three weeks were completed." Then I hope you would do
Galatian 6:1Brothers, if someone is caught in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual should restore such a person with a gentle spirit, watching out for yourselves so you also won’t be tempted. and 2 Timothy 2:24 The Lord’s slave must not quarrel, but must be gentle to everyone, able to teach, and patient, 25 instructing his opponents with gentleness. Perhaps God will grant them repentance leading them to the knowledge of the truth. 26 Then they may come to their senses and escape the Devil’s trap, having been captured by him to do his will." If that has not resulted in repentance on his part resulting in obedience to 1Corintians 7:2-5, then I hope you do the steps Jesus describes in Matthes 18:15-17 with any body of believers you are involved with. If you get up to and complete Matthew 18:17 and he still is not obediently doing 1 Corinthians 7:1-5, then I think you should take Jesus at His word and consider him to be an unbeliever. 1 Corintian 7:13,15 indicate that if the unbeliever makes the separation between himself and you, no longer willing to do 1 Corinthians 7:1-5; Prov 5: 15-20, then I would consider it to be a 1 Corinthian 7:15 situation where you are maritally free from the disobedient unbelieving husband and are free to marry another believer.. Deliberate disobedience is disbelief, unbelief. Just my thoughts I hope they are of some value to you.
 
As a husband of two wives myself, I’ll share a suggestion that may seem surprising, and whether or not you take it to heart will largely depend on the deeper dynamics of your relationships with your husband and SW.

As several others have said, you’ve already been given some very good advice - namely, to trust that your husband’s goal with obtaining another wife was not to replace you and that committing to being the best wife you can be despite his actions will bear fruit in time.

One very important component, though, that I don’t think has yet been mentioned, is your relationship with your SW. You stated in your original post that you genuinely want your husband and SW to have the best marriage possible and that you aren’t jealous. If those two things are true, despite all you have shared about feeling neglected, then I have to say you are a very strong woman. Would you say you still feel that way (honestly)? It’s completely ok to say you don’t, and being as open as possible will help others to give you concrete, more specific guidance.

My advice, given everything I’ve read in this thread and my own experience as a plural husband, is to be intentional and diligent in being as close as possible to your SW. My guess is that for quite some time you’ve been feeling as though it’s the two of them and you on the back burner. I get the impression that you view yourself as a neglected bystander continually watching another couple be close, wishing you had the same. If I’m correct, attempting to develop a very close bond with your SW could be one of the most beneficial things you could do.

How close are you and your SW now? Do you all live together or separately? Do you spend time together when your husband isn’t around? Your answers to all of these questions will help shed light on the possibilities for things changing.

I find that the closer my wives are to each other, the more drawn I am to them both. If I sense one is “off,” untrusting or acting in a way that could be damaging to the other, I naturally go into defense mode on behalf of my wife who I feel could be harmed in some way by the other’s attitude or actions. In your husband’s case, he may feel like your fears and accusations (regardless of how justified they may be) are ultimately damaging, which may cause him to feel a need to protect your SW while simultaneously taking the path of least resistance with you by not really dealing with the issues you raise at a deep level but, instead, repeatedly saying (likely without much evident passion) that he loves you, he’s committed, etc.

If you are intentional about getting close to your SW, a whole new dynamic could be possible. In fact, I can almost guarantee it’s an area where you would be best served focusing a lot of your attention.
 
ostephenu said:
I find that the closer my wives are to each other, the more drawn I am to them both.
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And the easier I am drawn equally toward both.
ostephenu said:
If you are intentional about getting close to your SW, a whole new dynamic could be possible. In fact, I can almost guarantee it’s an area where you would be best served focusing a lot of your attention.
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I wholeheartedly agree and from my own experience, it vastly improves the relationship dynamics for the three of us.
 
elkanahtyler said:
Forgive me if my reply misses the mark but I am doing my best to understand the problem and a solution. Let me propose a Scriptural response.
It is a sin against 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 for a husband to deny/defraud his wife due sexual relations and affection. That being the case first I would recommend that first you do the three week fasting and praying of Daniel 10:2" In those days, I, Daniel, had been mourning for three entire weeks. 3 I did not eat any tasty food, nor did meat or wine enter my mouth, nor did I use any ointment at all until the entire three weeks were completed." Then I hope you would do
Galatian 6:1Brothers, if someone is caught in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual should restore such a person with a gentle spirit, watching out for yourselves so you also won’t be tempted. and 2 Timothy 2:24 The Lord’s slave must not quarrel, but must be gentle to everyone, able to teach, and patient, 25 instructing his opponents with gentleness. Perhaps God will grant them repentance leading them to the knowledge of the truth. 26 Then they may come to their senses and escape the Devil’s trap, having been captured by him to do his will." If that has not resulted in repentance on his part resulting in obedience to 1Corintians 7:2-5, then I hope you do the steps Jesus describes in Matthes 18:15-17 with any body of believers you are involved with. If you get up to and complete Matthew 18:17 and he still is not obediently doing 1 Corinthians 7:1-5, then I think you should take Jesus at His word and consider him to be an unbeliever. 1 Corintian 7:13,15 indicate that if the unbeliever makes the separation between himself and you, no longer willing to do 1 Corinthians 7:1-5; Prov 5: 15-20, then I would consider it to be a 1 Corinthian 7:15 situation where you are maritally free from the disobedient unbelieving husband and are free to marry another believer.. Deliberate disobedience is disbelief, unbelief. Just my thoughts I hope they are of some value to you.
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This is horrible advice please do not follow it. What you are promoting will lead her into adultery.
 
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In @elkanahtyler's post above, he appears to seek a predetermined outcome (divorce), and then attempts to build a ladder out of scripture to lead to that outcome.

First he uses logical reasoning to label your husband an unbeliever.
elkanahtyler said:
Forgive me if my reply misses the mark but I am doing my best to understand the problem and a solution. Let me propose a Scriptural response.
It is a sin against 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 for a husband to deny/defraud his wife due sexual relations and affection. That being the case first I would recommend that first you do the three week fasting and praying of Daniel 10:2" In those days, I, Daniel, had been mourning for three entire weeks. 3 I did not eat any tasty food, nor did meat or wine enter my mouth, nor did I use any ointment at all until the entire three weeks were completed." Then I hope you would do
Galatian 6:1Brothers, if someone is caught in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual should restore such a person with a gentle spirit, watching out for yourselves so you also won’t be tempted. and 2 Timothy 2:24 The Lord’s slave must not quarrel, but must be gentle to everyone, able to teach, and patient, 25 instructing his opponents with gentleness. Perhaps God will grant them repentance leading them to the knowledge of the truth. 26 Then they may come to their senses and escape the Devil’s trap, having been captured by him to do his will." If that has not resulted in repentance on his part resulting in obedience to 1Corintians 7:2-5, then I hope you do the steps Jesus describes in Matthes 18:15-17 with any body of believers you are involved with. If you get up to and complete Matthew 18:17 and he still is not obediently doing 1 Corinthians 7:1-5, then I think you should take Jesus at His word and consider him to be an unbeliever.
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Having done that, he tries to falsely use this as justification for divorce. This is a misapplication of scripture, as even if your husband were an unbeliever, the scripture he cites clearly states that if he is willing to continue to live with you (which he is doing) you should stay with him.
elkanahtyler said:
1 Corintian 7:13,15 indicate that if the unbeliever makes the separation between himself and you, no longer willing to do 1 Corinthians 7:1-5; Prov 5: 15-20, then I would consider it to be a 1 Corinthian 7:15 situation where you are maritally free from the disobedient unbelieving husband and are free to marry another believer.. Deliberate disobedience is disbelief, unbelief. Just my thoughts I hope they are of some value to you.
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Do not follow this advice, it is entirely designed to lead to destruction.

The rest of us are trying to help your marriage, not destroy it. Follow @ostephenu's advice.
 
Be wary of those who would hold themselves out as authorities while modeling the things that one oughtn't do.
 
Fasting and praying are good ideas though.

@Keith Martin I was not trying to get a dig in on you. I simply see nothing in scripture that teaches a continuum of 'putting away' and think that to teach such is to invite temptation to struggling women.
 
rockfox said:
I simply see nothing in scripture that teaches a continuum of 'putting away' and think that to teach such is to invite temptation to struggling women.
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You make a good point.
 
In response to @elkanahtyler, I’m throughly confused by what you are trying to convey. That said, @Pacman and @FollowingHim, I was not about to even try to decode that. :eek:


@ostephenu - SW and my relationship is really good! She and I are VERY close. We do live in the same home and she has a work from home job so we are around each other literally 24/7/365. We have become like true sisters, where we do bicker and fight like sisters sometimes, but we are learning how to communicate with each other and our relationship...I feel...has been getting stronger. That being said, hubby has griped that our relationship is better then his and mine is to the point he feels she and I are in a relationship and he’s out in the cold, and if a disagreement happens, he says I’m taking her side and I don’t have his back, nor do I support him. However, I do have his back, more then he knows. SW has said I side with him more then with her in disagreements. Usually I’m trying to keep peace, and help us all come to an understanding we can all agree on. So I feel completely pulled in 2 different directions at times. Yes, I truly DO want their relationship to succeed! To the point that I have literally bent over backwards to help them succeed! Early in the relationship it was extremely rocky....she almost left several times and he wanted to send her packing more often then not, and I literally talked them both down, and made them sit down and talk it out! (Maybe in my doing that, I’ve signed my own relationship death certificate!:() As for him ‘protecting’ one or the other of us, he has at times, but it’s not really about that...as we tend to agree on more then we disagree on. A lot of the ‘issues’ he claims are keeping him at arms length don’t have anything to do with plural marriage, and SW and my relationship, but are more about my ‘flaws’...and things that he doesn’t like about me. (But I thought we are supposed to love each other, flaws and all, or am I mistaken about that?:confused:)


@steve - solid advice.


@FollowingHim - honestly divorce is the LAST thing on my mind. Have I considered it? Yes! I’m not going to lie! But to me that’s giving up, and I have way too much invested in this relationship, and I’m not a quitter! I didn’t quit 5-6 years ago when he all but walked out on me, then threw plural marriage on me with no warning...I stayed and fought for my relationship! So no, divorce isn’t an option. Thank you for all your support and advice, I appreciate your words and support. All of y’all! :)
 
@OhMyStars, Wow, I didn’t expect that response! I’m happy to hear you’re so close with your SW. I often feel like when it comes to major decisions it’s usually my wives against me, so I understand your husband feeling left out at times. Funny... I assumed you were the one in that position based on what you’d shared so far, but we can all feel that way at times. I’m sure that you all speak openly fairly often and privately at other times, so I assume your SW is fully aware of your struggles. I also assume that she may have attempted to help you a number of times, whether all together or privately to your husband.

Opening up the way you did is very helpful for all of us seeking to help in any way we can, so thank you for that. The details you shared seem pretty basic, but they are very important. Although plural marriage itself doesn’t seem to be the issue to you, I’d encourage you to not view the lifestyle as a negative thing no matter how challenging it may be. Saying that you fully support your husband’s and SW’s marriage while also stating that by encouraging them you may have signed your own “relationship death certificate” suggests that you may have more apprehensions about the lifestyle than you might even realize. And again, that would be completely normal.

Out of curiosity, do you all schedule periodic trips alone with your husband? I go on trips with each of my wives at least once a year (although the Wuhan virus has hindered that a bit as of late), and those short trips are incredibly valuable to us. They allow us to fully focus on each other and nothing else, which is a big relief considering the many stresses of everyday life we normally endure. The trips may be short, but they provide a much needed “recharge” and help us to connect and refocus on each other and what’s really important.
 
I realized I forgot to address an important question you asked, which is the notion that spouses are supposed to love each other despite their flaws.

I have many thoughts on this topic and it warrants its own lengthy book, but I’ll tell you that scriptural love (as defined by Paul in 1 Cor. 13 and exemplified by Christ) is quite different than the western, romanticized, Disney-like version we’ve all been brainwashed to believe in and expect. According to Scripture, love is primarily rooted in committed action more than feeling. Everything Christ did was rooted in action and was done for undeserving recipients (while we were yet sinners He died for us). Likewise, all of the traits that define love according to Paul are actionable and not based solely in emotion.

The truth is, no couple will always feel butterflies and warm fuzzies all the time - especially after the “honeymoon” phase has ended and the harsh realities of life with its many struggles set in. On the contrary, their feelings may at times seem almost non-existent, and we may become downright angry or frustrated. It’s precisely why the divorce rate is shockingly high despite the fact that no two people marry without feeling certain that they will be together the rest of their lives. I’m confident you know this all too well, as does every person who’s ever been married.

So, to say you’re “supposed” to do or feel something a certain way could easily lead to unrealistic expectations. The best way I could put it would be to say husbands and wives should be fully committed to their marriages enduring and to working their very hardest to make that happen. That often means a great deal of sacrifice, enduring frustration and numerous other hardships; but viewing love primarily as a committed action is step 1 in developing a proper, biblical perspective.

It sounds like your husband is committed but you desire the feelings and affection, and believe me - I’m not discounting the importance of that at all. I certainly wouldn’t have married either of my wives if I didn’t have feelings for them! But if you study the true meaning of “love” - the MOST important thing there is (the Father IS love and love conquers all and remains) - it may help to establish a more firm understanding and allow you to move forward with a clearer perspective.

This link is to an article I wrote on love about a decade ago, and hopefully it helps to better clarify what I’m trying to express in this shorter post:

http://thewordontheword.blogspot.com/2012/09/what-is-love.html?m=1
 
I stand with and by the Holy Spirit's Scripture in 1 Corinthians 7:
10 I command the married—not I, but the Lord—a wife is not to leave her husband. 11 But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband—and a husband is not to leave his wife. 12 But I (not the Lord) say to the rest: If any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him, he must not leave her. 13 Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not leave her husband. 14 For the unbelieving husband is set apart for God by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is set apart for God by the husband. Otherwise your children would be corrupt, but now they are set apart for God. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace. . . 39 A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to anyone she wants—only in the Lord.
If any woman has an unbelieving husband and he is not "willing to live with her" she is free to leave but not to marry another as in 1 Cor 7:11. If the unbelieving husband has separated himself from her, she may leave her husband because "a sister is not bound in such cases." The marriage has ended and she is no longer maritally bound "in such cases."
 
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elkanahtyler said:
I stand with and by the Holy Spirit's Scripture in 1 Corinthians 7:
10 I command the married—not I, but the Lord—a wife is not to leave her husband. 11 But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband—and a husband is not to leave his wife. 12 But I (not the Lord) say to the rest: If any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him, he must not leave her. 13 Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not leave her husband. 14 For the unbelieving husband is set apart for God by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is set apart for God by the husband. Otherwise your children would be corrupt, but now they are set apart for God. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace. . . 39 A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to anyone she wants—only in the Lord.
If any woman has an unbelieving husband and he is not "willing to live with her" she is free to leave but not to marry another as in 1 Cor 7:11. If the unbelieving husband has separated himself from her, she may leave her husband because "a sister is not bound in such cases." The marriage has ended and she is no longer maritally bound "in such cases."
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I’m trying to understand your post, @elkanahtyler. It seems to be a defense of your previous post where you suggested fasting and prayer, followed by possibly leaving a spouse. In this post, though, you focus more on Paul’s guidance to believing husbands or wives to stay with their unbelieving spouse if the unbeliever is willing to stay. This post seems, in many ways, to contradict the former as the first seemed to support leaving and this one seems to encourage staying.

It seems clear that Paul’s guidance is primarily rooted in keeping marriages together, NOT separating husbands and wives. Divorce is clearly the last resort in the passage, and that’s the dominant theme throughout Scripture. The Father hates divorce. Paul’s words in 1 Cor. 7 carry much weight! Unbelieving spouses are actually “set apart” (rendered “made holy” in some versions) by their believing spouses - and that’s a significant revelation!

It’s important to also keep in mind that while believing husbands and wives may be equal members in the Body of Christ, the husband is still the head of his wife, even if he may not be acting ideally. As a general rule, our natural reaction to a struggling wife should never be to encourage her to leave her husband - especially when we are only privy to one side of the story.

Till now, I only read the responses of others to what you wrote before, and I trust your intentions were intended to be helpful. It seems to me that those responses were directed mostly toward your guidance based on passages other than 1 Cor. 7 that seemed to recommend a wife leaving her husband - at least based on how you phrased things. Your prior post also seemed to encourage the wife in question to take matters into her own hands, which could quickly lead to marital problems.

I write this in an attempt to understand your thoughts better (I hope you take this with the gracious spirit intended), but more importantly in the hopes that the wife who began this thread will read every reply and think through the advice given while carefully studying Scripture and considering her own marriage and its unique complexities.
 
Thanks for the thoughtful responses to my previous posts. They were seriously considered. My present Lady, mother of 8, was battered and beaten into unconciousness, left bloodied on the floor, too many times during the 30 years she and her unbelieving common law husband were married. In 2013 when her exhusband tried to kill her with the blow of a sheathed Japanese samurai sword to her uncovered head, I helped her escape to safety and have continued to help her be safe ever since then. I firmly believe in the 1 Corinthians 7:11 principle of the wife having the option of separating for safety when her life is being threatened. But I am posting today because I was made aware of my error in misunderstanding 1 Corinthians 7:12 & 13.
I believe I made a serious mistake in my teaching about believers married to unbelievers. I believe God has forgiven me. I hope you also will forgive and pray for me. One who teaches what the Bible says is in a very dangerous situation because of the consequences of misrepresenting what God says.

My error and assumption was believing that if the unbeliever does not want to live with the believing wife, that was a “separation” and the believing wife was therefore no longer maritally bound to the unbelieving husband and was free to marry another in the Lord. The correct understanding is 1 Corinthians 7:12-15, that as long as the unbeliever wants to live with the believer, the believing wife should not separate unless she does it according to 1 Corinthians 7:11, I.e. “ she should remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her [unbelieving] husband”. On the other hand, whether or not the unbelieving wife wants to live with the believing husband, he should not leave her or separate from her (1 Corinthians 7:11,12), even if she wants him to leave.

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The King's command to the believing husband in 1 Corinthians 7:11 and Matthew 19:6 is that regarding his wife he should not “send away; a. to ask one to go away or depart: . . . forsake, lay aside, leave, let alone, let be, put or send away” (from Thayer's and Strong's Lexicons https://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G863&t=NASB). Stated plainly the believing husband should not send away his wife, should not ask his wife to depart or go away, should not forsake, leave, let alone, put away or send away his wife, believing or unbelieving - - - PERIOD! NO BUTS, IFS, ANDS, EXCEPTIONS OR QUALIFICATIONS!

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JESUS' Spirit states the 1 Corinthians 7:11b command in Mark 10 and Matthew 19:6. The command to not separate the husband and wife joined together by God is not so stated in the Old Testament. King Jesus decrees the command while in His human body on earth. The believing husband who divorces his wife for sexual immorality in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 has sinned, disobeying the King's command in Matthew 19:6, Mark 10 and 1 Corinthians 7:11 to not separate from one's mate. As Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 state, the wife divorced for sexual immorality is still maritally bound to the husband who divorced her because Jesus says that whoever marries her commits adultery. Why? Because she is still maritally bound to her husband as Romans 7:2,3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39 indicate. The believing wife is bound to her believing husband as long as they both live.

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***Matthew 19:6 “So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, mankind must not separate.”

***1 Corinthians 7:10 “But to the married I command—not I, but the Lord—that the wife should not leave or separate from her husband. 11 (but if she departs, she should remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband [should] not leave his wife. 12 But to the rest I—not the Lord—say, if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she is content to live with him, he should not leave her. 13 The woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he is content to live with her, she should not leave her husband. . . . 15 Yet if the unbeliever departs, there should be separation. The brother or the sister is not bound or under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace. . . . 39 A [believing] wife is bound by [God's] Law for as long as her husband lives; but if the husband is dead, she is free to be married to whomever she desires, only in the Lord.”

From verses 13& 15 we know that the believing wife is bound by God's Law to her unbelieving husband for as long as her unbelieving husband wants to live with her and does not separate from her, but if he does not want to live with her and separates himself from her, then “ The brother or the sister is not bound or under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace”.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+7:10-15,39&version=HCSB;CJB;ESV;NASB;WEB

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***Romans 7:7 Or don’t you know, brethren (for I speak to men who know the Law [of God]), that the Law has dominion over a man for as long as he lives? 2 For the woman that has a husband is bound by [God's] Law to the husband while he lives, but if the husband dies, she is released from the Law of the husband. 3 So then if, while the husband lives, she is joined to another man, she would be called an adulteress. But if the husband dies, she is free from the Law, so that she is no adulteress, though she is joined to another man.

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If an unbelieving husband no longer wants to live with his saved wife and the woman separates from her unbelieving husband it must be according to 1 Corinthians 7:11 “(but if she departs, she should remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband)” according to the King's “mankind must not separate” rule. If the unbelieving husband leaves or separates from his believing wife “ there should be separation. The brother or the sister is not bound or under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace.” 1 Cor 7:15

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My error and assumption was believing that if the unbeliever does not want to live with the believing wife, that was a “separation” and the believing wife was therefore no longer maritally bound to the unbelieving husband and was free to marry another in the Lord. The correct understanding is that as long as the unbeliever wants to live with the believer, the believing wife should not separate unless she does it according to 1 Cor 7:11 “ she should remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her [unbelieving] husband”.

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If the unbelieving husband no longer wants to live with his believing wife and separates himself from her, then the Word is “ there should be separation. The brother or the sister is not bound or under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace.” See 1 Cor 7:15. It is the unbeliever's separation that ends the marital bond.

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The believing husband is maritally bound to his unbelieving wife as long as she wants to live with him, but if she no longer wants to live with him and she makes the separation “The brother or the sister is not bound or under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace.” See 1 Cor 7:15 It is the unbeliever's separation that ends the marital bond.

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How can I be sure that I am joined to the one God wants me to be joined with in marriage? If you were both free to marry Scripturally when you were joined, then you were joined by God, who works all things according to the counsel of His own will (Ephesians 1:11), including your marriage. We are to remain in the marriage in which we were called and saved by Jesus, if we were both Scripturally free to marry when we married according to 1 Corinthians 7:17 “Only, as the Lord has distributed to each human, as God has called each, so he should walk. So I command in all the assemblies. . . 20 Each human should stay in that calling in which he was called. . . . 24 Brothers, let each man, in whatever condition he was called, stay in that condition with God.”

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If Hank and Sugar were both single when they married and then were saved, Hank and Sugar should remain married. If Hank had been married 3 times before marrying Sugar and getting saved by Jesus, and if Sugar had been married 5 times before marrying Hank and getting saved by Jesus, then Hank and Sugar were called and saved after they were married and called by God in their marriage, and they should remain in the marriage in which they were called and saved. What if Sugar was still legally married to Beau with a divorce in process but was in a common law marriage living with Hank, all sponsored and recognized by the County Welfare Dept, and they are “called” and saved in that status? I believe that Hank and Sugar should remain in their government recognized common law relationship in which they were called/saved, finish the divorce with Beau and legally get married in the relationship in which they were called. That's the way I see it so now you get to do 1 Thessalonians 5:20-22 with the situation and my understanding.

If you find error, I hope you Love Jesus and me enough to do Galatians 6:1 and 2 Timothy 2:24-26 with and for me.

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU FIND ANY MISTAKES IN THIS.

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elkanahtyler said:
What if Sugar was still legally married to Beau with a divorce in process but was in a common law marriage living with Hank, all sponsored and recognized by the County Welfare Dept, and they are “called” and saved in that status? I believe that Hank and Sugar should remain in their government recognized common law relationship in which they were called/saved, finish the divorce with Beau and legally get married in the relationship in which they were called. That's the way I see it so now you get to do 1 Thessalonians 5:20-22 with the situation and my understanding.
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I agree. Real life can be a mess. You cannot go back in time and try to fix everything. What is done is done, even if it was sin to do it. We have to trust God has truly washed us clean from past sins.

Even if it was sinful for a couple to marry, once they are married I still consider them married. They should ask for forgiveness, and from this day sin no more. But the sin was starting the marriage. Continuing in the marriage is not necessarily also sin.

Deuteronomy is clear that for her to return to her first husband would be sinful. Thus continuing with the second is the right option.
 
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